Thursday, December 31, 2009

"Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening."

In my last post on charisms I wrote about my experience at the Life in the Spirit Seminars. Today I would like to write about my experiences at Church and home concerning the "words" that I speak about on my blogs and in my daily life. As I said in an earlier post I can't seem to find good definitions for these gifts so I am just calling them as I see them. One day during Mass, I was reading about Samuel and Eli [1 Sm. ch. 3]. When I read the words, "Here I am" and "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening", the Holy Spirit flooded me so powerfully that I started crying. This kept happening over and over again with various Scripture passages at Church and at home. Each time, I would cry as the power of God's Word flowed through me. There was a passage in Jeremiah that would scream through my being:
"But do you gird your loins;
  stand up and tell them
  all that I command you.
Be not crushed on their account,
  as though I would leave you crushed
   before them....."               Jeremiah 1: 17-19

I began to understand through the continuity of the words that the Lord was preparing to give me a prophetic gift through words as well as dreams. What I failed to grasp at the time was that he was also preparing my heart for another gift, which is not quite as pleasant. I'll get to that one later. I mention it because it seems to have a connection to the words of knowledge that He gives me. Words of wisdom and words of knowledge are different from two of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit: Wisdom and Knowledge. The Gifts of the Holy Spirit are necessary for salvation; charisms are not. Charisms are important, however, as they help others and build the Church. A word of wisdom is spoken (or written); it is the ability to understand a supernatural truth; to pierce through, simply and easily, something beyond earthly understanding. These words may just pop out of a person's mouth without any prior reflection because they come from the Lord. The word of wisdom and the word of knowledge are similar . One is communicating wisdom, the other is communicating knowledge. Both are from God. The word of knowledge is when the Lord gives a person knowledge about a person or situation that they couldn't have known unless God revealed it. This can be useful if you are ministering to someone and are unsure of the nature or the root of the problem being addressed. God also can give words of knowledge about others that are uplifting or knowledge about happenings in the spiritual realm that cannot be seen and that humans are unaware of. Another area in which they are helpful is during intercessory prayer so that you know what to pray for.

Early after my conversion I had made a life offering to the Lord, especially for those caught in the grip of mortal sin. I also offered my life as reparation for the sins and blasphemies committed against His Sacred Heart. The Lord takes these offerings very seriously. I believe part of the reason that I was given certain charisms were because of this. At the time, I did not know how much suffering these offerings would entail. I do now. Though the first words given to me were from Scripture, this soon changed. The Lord began giving me words of knowledge and prophetic words about people and the times we live in. Along with some of the words came another unpleasant gift which shocked me at first. When I was in the presence of certain people, my head would be bombarded with terrible images and sins. I was horrified, this had never happened before my conversion. I kept apologizing to the Lord until I realized that He wanted me to offer these sufferings in union with His for the salvation of the person's soul. This didn't happen with everyone, only some people. Sometimes I would be driving down the street and would pass a stranger and would get blasted with images. I quickly learned that this was a call to prayer. At other times I would get a word and temporarily suffer some weird illness or interior suffering that corresponded with the other person's suffering. I wrote about one of these experiences in an earlier post. Suicides really bothered me and the Lord often called me into intercessory prayer for those who attempted to take their own lives. In His kindness, the Lord would occasionally give me glimpses or knowledge of how powerful our offerings for others are. That is why I write regularly on the power of prayer and uniting our sufferings with Jesus.

During this time, the dreams also continued. When some of these began to actually happen I was not very surprised; I had learned that if you trust the Lord completely, His words are good. He is not out to fool people but to help them. When one of my dreams [which was very detailed] came true I was very saddened because I love this person very much. I only spoke to one person, my mother, about it. I often tell her about them and I share a lot of the words I am given with her, too. She understands because she also gets them.  The funny thing is that the Lord gave me a word many years ago that I would write on the computer for Him. This was laughable because at the time we didn't even have a computer nor had I ever used one .

I will write more about this in a later post, it is getting pretty late and I am a one-finger typer. By the way, what happened to spell check?

23 comments:

  1. Mary...I look forward to reading your continued posting on this subject. I am very intrigued and I am in awe of the way God is using you! Thank you for being open to Him and His calling!

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  2. I get this way for the souls of the dying. I do forget to unite my suffering to Jesus lately. And this thought occured to me yesturday. I feel the Lord is using your posts to get through to me. I have had so many crosses lately that I don't know if I am coming or going.
    God bless you and your mom

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  3. Nancy,
    I was afraid to write about these things for so long because I worried what people would think. I now know that it only matters what the Lord thinks and that's a good thing because the story is about to get a lot weirder.

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  4. Linda,
    Yes. I know you do. I know sometimes it doesn't feel like a gift but it really is. Wait till you get to heaven and see the fruits of these crosses. The Lord will not be outdone in generosity.

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  5. Oh Mary I am a bit confused but I want to follow you and see where your words lead me, I envy your connection with God, your belief and your strong faith....I have just come for your other blog....I will so try and keep up with you...I have found you for a reason....:-) Hugs

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  6. Mary, I look forward to reading ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you write. Keep it coming......

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  7. I suppose as long as there are wonderful people on earth like you I will keep going. But it does at times feel like I don't really have anyone on earth who understands. I realized this week especially that I don't even know anyone I would go and ask if they want to go get a cup of coffee with me.
    Happy New Year!

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  8. Mary,
    Thank you for going into some detail about the charisms and words you receive. While I always trusted what you were saying because I knew it was all from God, I didn't quite understand what you meant; this post helped. I am still trying to trust God in the Holy Spirit more and pray more to the Holy Spirit especially for guidance. Like Linda I often forget to unite and offer my sufferings with Jesus'.
    I thank God for leading me to your blogs; they have helped me to see that I need to trust God more and offer all that I am and have to him. (I still play tug of war with Him in this area at times)
    God Bless!

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  9. Charisms are wonderful. I am grateful you feel compelled to share via the "net", because, well, this is what I struggle with: how to share what I believe are the charisms that God has gifted me with and, yet, still be the humourous dingaling I am on my blog. It's a difficult balance. I think the humour and silliness is a softer way to get the profound love of God out there, but . . . well, I am praying that in 2010 I can use my blog more Spiritually. And, I pray people do "get" it that I love God above all things when they read my blog.

    Yesterday, I got CHILLS when the Holy Spirit bapped me over the head "spiritually speaking" as a friend asked me to do a talk next Lent about something we can teach adults . . . like prayers and such. I suggested the rosary and that I make them etc., and she said, "No, I was thinking more along the lines of you teaching us about Divine Mercy." Oh, my!

    October 2008 I went to conference in San Antonio where (long story cut short short) I was told by a priest who was friends with JPII that he felt the Lord was calling me to be an apostle of DM. There's much more to this . . . but . . . needless to say, I have yet to find a DM cenacle here, nor have I looked (shame on me).

    By the way, I did say, "Yes, I'll do it."
    Conviction runs deep.

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  10. Sarah,
    I love your blog! Your sense of humor makes me laugh and your love for the Lord comes through loud and clear:) I pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet regularly, at home and on the Sundays that I meet my mom and friend for the Rosary and Chaplet. I have been given permission to use The Diary of St Faustina on my blog and will probably write more about her during the coming year. I wasn't quite sure how to start writing about charisms either so I have been asking the Holy Spirit for help. Charisms are for everyone, though they differ from one person to another. This is one of the reasons that I decided to bring it up on my blog, I wanted people to understand that the Holy Spirit really wants us to have them.

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  11. Bernie,
    Welcome to my blogs :) Feel free to e-mail me or comment if you have any questions that I can help you with. My e-mail is in my profile I think. Happy New Year and may God be with you! I have added you to my prayers.

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  12. Karinann,
    I have spoken about some of the words that I have received in older posts. Some of them concern people so I am unable to share them publicly. I will try to clarify it further in future posts. I have to be honest, some of the prophetic words and dreams I hesitate to share because I don't want to be a doom-and-gloomer and prefer to trust in God's mercy. The few that I have written about I felt prodded strongly to do so. I often have witnesses in the Spirit when I read your blog, so I know that you are a true sister-in-faith :)

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  13. Kath,
    I know what you want me to write about but I am afraid to go into that:) Maybe God will give me the courage at some point. I will touch upon the subject of the demonic world though, simply because we know it exists.

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  14. Mary, I am so deeply grateful to you for posting about charisms. I am learning a lot. There is so much that I don't know and my faith is so weak. I am very indebted to you for your courage. You are a Godsend and a blessing!

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  15. Mary I will pray for you about sharing of the subject on the demonic, because: although we should have basic knowledge of how Satan and his minions work, we have to be careful about over sensationalizing the demonic - I know this first hand. I may wrongly assume here that that is the reason you hesitate a bit? I will pray for you that you continue to do God's Will and share only when His Spirit moves you to.

    God bless you!

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  16. Thanks, Anne :) I am glad the posts are helpful to you.

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  17. Sarah,
    Yes, that is exactly why I hesitate. I am praying about it, also. Some people don't believe that they even exist which is why I have occasionally done brief posts concerning Satan, we should be aware of our enemies and yet not focus too much on them.

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  18. Mary,

    When we weep in prayer it is called "the gift of tears." When we weep over our sins, it is called "the gift of compunction." A holy Benedictine pastor told me this. He also said from the pulpit how edified he was by so many of his parishioners who wept over their sins. He always had really long lines at the confessional and many people coming to him during the week.

    You are so generous relating your spiritual life with others. I don't know what my charisms are. I am not funny in my writing - it's just not my nature. Not that I have no sense of humor because I love this talent in others. My blog is so new I am not having many visitors yet and few comments. What's worse, I am a contemplative, introverted person who believes she has been asked by God to reach out to the world with the message to offer up all pain and suffering in union with Jesus for the salvation of souls. I dream of a great, silent, invisible army of prayer warriors and sufferers who participate in this work of atonement in union with Jesus. It is hard. Please pray for me. I can see you are a generous soul and you are an inspiration to me.

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  19. Thank you, Barb, I didn't know what the crying was all about; it happens to me a lot. I can't seem to find very much information about charisms anywhere, other than a bit here and there.
    Barb, I had never planned on having a website, it was God's idea. We ARE a great, invisible army of prayer warriors and sufferers and we WILL be used to help crush the head of Satan. Mary's anawim. I know this because God gave me this "word" and I believe Him. Trust the Lord, it doesn't matter if you are an introvert or not, if He has given you a job to do He will help you. I already pray for you :)

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  20. Mary, actually I wasn't referring to THAT per se. I am just trying to give you words of encouragement, because I know how much of an effort it is for you to come out of your comfort zone. Keep up the excellent work!

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  21. Mary, I have gone through a conversion the last 5 months. I have given myself to Mary and Jesus. I want to do their will. I ask God what would be his will for me, and I heard the words SEEK AND FIND IT. I too cry the gift of tears. I feel Our Lady very close to me. I go into the Church nightly and talk to God, maybe I need to do more listening I am not sure. I have had some divine happenings as well. What is your advice?

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  22. I wrote the above post, my email is: mes3sjmo@gmail.com please email me. thanks

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  23. That's awesome, Marsha! Life is an ongoing conversion, a continual turning to the Lord until all that we are and all that we do is aimed straight at Him :) I will e-mail you this weekend.

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