Flush and Blush

Victor at Time for Reflections has started a new meme called HEEE HEEE MEME. The rules for this meme are:

1. You must write this post while looking somewhat ridiculous.

2. Next you must tell us something funny or silly about yourself; or something that happened to you that made you look ridiculous.

3. Then LINK to three other people and invite them to join the Meme.

4. Finally don't forget to LINK back to the person who invited you so that your readers can read about them and join in the laughter.

As you can see from the picture above I am having a bad hair day as usual. That's always enough to ruffle one's feathers, isn't it? It was a new product put out by Gloreal, guaranteed to transform even the mousiest long hair into a glorious treasure called Platinum Deluxe. Never trust those fly-by-night hair dye companies...they're all a bunch of quacks.

Now for my story (please note - contains potty humor and may offend those who were not raised by fathers who required their children to pull their thumbs regularly). People seem to want to hear the Disney Story, so here goes:

                                                     FLUSH AND BLUSH
                                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was in my mid twenties, a few of my family members flew down to Florida to visit a friend. She lived pretty close to Disney World so we decided to check it out. The craziness began while my brother and I were in a tightly packed elevator in Magic Kingdom. Jim and I were jammed dead center in the middle of the elevator and as it was rising someone on board let go a vicious SBD. (Silent but deadly for all those whose fathers failed in their duty to teach their children all they must know about bodily functions. Much to my mom's dismay, of course.) The elevator soon reeked to high heaven. Yours truly, who in a previous post explained about her losing battle against inappropriate laughter received a quick poke in the side from Jim along with a waggle of the eyebrows. That did it. Soon we were both laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my eyes. Other than us, there was dead silence. Maybe it knocked everyone else out...I don't know. What I do know is that my brother made me look like the culprit.

I offered it up. Steam rises anyway so there was no sense in ignoring it.

Shortly after, we went and grabbed my mom from the hotel room so she could take a walk around the park. After an hour or two my mom and I stopped at a restroom to empty our bladders. Disney had recently installed the automatic toilets that flush when you stand up. (Those things have always creeped me out, by the way. I always wondered if the red sensor buttons were little cameras. I mean, how do they know when you stand up?) There were lots of people in line to use the bathrooms so I used the toilet quickly. When I was exiting my mom yelled out, "Mary! My toilet won't flush!" I shouted back, "Mom, you're in Disney. This is Magic Kingdom; you have to turn around and say, "Flush!" She did so. A moment later she said, "Mary! It still won't flush!" I replied, "Yell louder." My poor mom must have yelled at that toilet five times before realizing I was tricking her. I think the laughter throughout the restroom clued her in. She swatted my arm on the way out but I was giggling to hard to feel it.

I made it up to her later. After all, I'm a good daughter with a charitable nature. After much Disney food, my mom got a bellyache and we rushed to the nearest restroom. This was no quiet bellyache and I could sense her embarrassment, so kindhearted Mary decided to help her out by turning on all the hand dryers at once, turning a couple of taps on, and singing Zip-Ah-Dee-Doo-Dah at the top of my lungs.

Need I add that my mom forgave me for the flush incident after?

I tag:

Grace at Just Be Real
Puff at Puff's Blog About Stuff
Colleen at Thoughts on Grace
Sarah at Signs of Faith and Love
Jane at Seven angels, four kids, one family

I guess I can't count.

Let's see what you're made of ladies! Don't worry, it can be anything funny! I was going to tag Kathryn too, but she's already got a post up called "Letting go is hard to do" so I figured I better not ;)

                                       

Mwah...pacher...wewewewe

No, I'm not giving a lesson in tongues.

If only that was it.

Today, I went to Mass and received Communion. After everyone went back to their pews, I heard a strange repetitive noise. A young boy (around 4 or 5) had fallen asleep and was snoring loud enough to wake the dead. This is a small, quiet, chapel and usually very silent after Communion. I struggled to maintain my dignity but as the sound of the child "sawing logs" interspersed with squeaking sounds grew...so did my hilarity. I burst in peals of laughter and could not stop. Pretending to have a coughing and sneezing fit didn't work either. (This is my old standby in situations like these.) I begged the Lord to "make it stop, oh please, make it stop". Not a chance. He was busy with more important stuff like making sure a tired boy got his zzzz's in. The more I tried to smother the laughter the worse it became. I gained control by the time Father gave the final blessing but on the way out of the church the man seated behind me looked right at me, winked, and had a huge grin on his face.

No one said a word, thankfully. Sometimes, if I can keep the laughter silent enough and I can cover my face with my hands, I can pretend I'm crying.

I'm not sure I inherited the gene of "laughing at totally inappropriate moments" from my mom or my dad. (I think my dad is the culprit.) The majority of time, these giggling fits take place either during solemn ceremonies or in overflowing elevators where there is complete silence. You know, someone will "let one go" loudly and the Lord seems determined that I should take the blame for each and every one of these incidents. It's the bane of my existence. If the giggling mechanism is set off, I'm done for. The shoulder shaking and the strange choking noises I make are always a dead give-a-way. I always want to shout, "It wasn't me! I swear!"

 I get back at the Lord for allowing this by "offering it up".

Anyone have any advice?

Please don't say, "Grow up!" I can't seem to do that. And no, "Think morbid thoughts." That doesn't work either. I've left the Church on occasion but in small chapels I am pinned by people on both sides.

Is there a saint for this?

And no, I am not joking.

I've asked the Lord to "make it stop" since I was a child and He never has.

Victor? I know you've had this "difficulty" before? What's your secret? Spill it, please.

Anyone?


PS (Don't you dare comment on the elevator incident at Disney World if you read this, dear brother of mine... I WILL delete it. Besides, you set me off. No mentioning the funeral incident, either, because that was your fault too. Comments aren't allowed by family members on this post. You either, Kath. No beach church comments either - I'm still mortified over that one. Randy, that means you too. You have no idea what it's like right after giving birth when your body disobeys you at will and I didn't ASK the baby to spit the pacifier out. You could have done the right thing and picked it up yourself you know. That WOULD have been the gentlemanly thing to do. Poor girls behind us had to leave the church.)

Father Steven Scheier's Judgment Experience

I first watched this show on EWTN many years ago and it affects me today just as powerfully as it did back then. It explains my recent posts far better than I could ever do.

Do not Quench the Spirit

Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy.
Act in me, O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy.
Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit, that I love only what is holy.
Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy.
Guard me so, O Holy Spirit, that I may always be holy.
Amen



As Christians, we live, not naturally, but supernaturally. The Holy Spirit lives in us to lead us, guide us, love us and transform us. In 1 Thessalonians 5:19 it says:
"Do not quench the Spirit."
I was thinking about this passage and it is clear that we CAN put out the fire of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Unconfessed sin is like pouring water over the fire of the Spirit, especially grievous sin. Our lives were meant to be lived knitted to the Spirit. He is the Advocate promised by Jesus. Nothing separates us more from God than sin...unconfessed sin. Even venial sin gradually begins to harden our hearts and leave us less open to the inspirations of the Spirit. Verse 22 goes on to say:
"Refrain from every kind of evil."
That a big request. EVERY kind of evil. Lack of charity, lies, unjust anger (let's face it - most anger is unjust). This is why regular confession is important. Ask the Holy Spirit for light and confess your sins. I go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation about once a month on average and I also ask forgiveness immediately during the course of the day if I've noticed I have sinned. This seems to keep the Holy Spirit shining brightly in my soul. Confession pleases Him. Prayer helps, too.

"Lord who hast mercy upon all, take away from me my sins, and mercifully, kindle in me the fire of thy Holy Spirit. Take away from me this heart of stone, and give me a heart of flesh, a heart to love and adore Thee, a heart to delight in Thee, to follow and to enjoy Thee, for Christ's sake. Amen"
                                              St. Gregory? (Does anyone know who wrote this lovely little prayer?)

A Thousand Little Deaths

Hell can be described as  a perpetual alienation from our true being, our true self, which is in God."
                                                                                                           Thomas Merton

In my posts, Utterly encompassed and The Kingdom of Light, I spoke of how we create "false kingdoms" for ourselves and rule over them like little gods. I'd like to continue on this subject because of how critical it is that we allow God to tear down these kingdoms that have little to no basis in God's reality. How are these   "kingdoms" taken down? By allowing God to destroy the false self we have created and set up as gods in these kingdoms of "me, myself and I".

What? You think we are better than our first parents, Adam and Eve? That we didn't inherit their fallen nature?

We, too, have bitten the apple that contained the worm of "You shall be as gods." And ever since the fall, we have set ourselves on the throne where only the living God can truly be. There is no life without God and if we do not renounce our thrones, we live in a world of our own making. Fallen human hearts are wily by nature. By simply paying attention to the ways we try to justify our sins, this can be proven. For a woman of average intelligence, I can be quite a genius when it comes to evil. I've even caught myself enumerating to God why I sin the way I do some days. "This insomnia crushes me and makes me cranky. If you could lift the insomnia I don't think I would have committed this sin." Yeah, right."This migraine was too much to take so I couldn't help yelling at my daughter." Say what? "If that man on the road hadn't yelled at me I wouldn't have been grumpy with my husband."  If my back didn't ache, if I didn't have the flu, if I wasn't depressed, if I didn't have Myasthenia Gravis. (Yes, I was healed of this but I used to use it as an excuse for why my behavior was not so good.) I think you get my drift, I used outward circumstances to absolve myself to some degree of my sin. Not in the Confessional, of course, just in my head. Now, there is no need for me to justify my actions before God...He knows me better than I know myself. I'm pretty sure this justification is for my own benefit. So I can sit on my throne a bit longer, perhaps? After all, if I am booted off my throne I have to eat dust and dust just isn't my favorite snack. Neither is humble pie, come to think of it.

I just don't trust myself. I have long since realized that I am my own biggest cross and it will stay this way until I renounce my ego and allow God to bring forth the real me. The one who has no need of masks, no need to please others, no need to emotionally manipulate others to have my needs met. The "real" person that God created has all his or her needs met by God; it is the false self that has needs and expectations that can never be met. This false self is a figment of our sinful imaginations. A wisp of smoke; a caricature of the true self which lives in God.

I have often thought that God allows many humiliations and failures in our lives because they are aimed at this falseness in our nature. The saints took humiliating experiences with equanimity because these experiences do not harm the true self that is caught up in the love of God. They destroy the false self and help us to see ourselves for who we truly are, not for who we imagine ourselves to be.

We want to be as gods and the Lord gives us what we want...and then we realize that we make lousy gods and the dethroning begins.

These thousands of "little deaths" make us humble. They crucify our ill will so that God's will may reign supreme in our hearts.

Dust and humble pie will probably stay on the menu for quite some time, no doubt. At least John the Baptist got to eat locusts and wild honey.

Pentecost Novena - 9th Day

Saturday - The Outpouring of the Spirit at Pentecost

"Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them.
   All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as
   the Spirit gave them the ability."     Acts 2: 3-4

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.      Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Pentecost Novena - 8th Day

Friday - The Fruit of the Spirit

"By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against
such things."     Gal. 5:22-23

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.      Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Pentecost Novena -7th Day

Thursday - One Spirit, Many Gifts

"Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services,
but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who
activates all of them in everyone."     1 Cor. 12:4-6

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.    Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Pentecost Novena - 6th Day

Wednesday - Understanding Comes Through the Spirit

"Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit that is from
God, so that we may understand the gifts bestowed on us by God."  1 Cor. 2:12

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.      Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Pentecost Novena - 5th Day

Tuesday - Life Through His Spirit

"If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you,
he who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal
bodies also through his Spirit that dwells in you."    Romans 8:11

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our hearts aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.    Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Pentecost Novena -4th Day

Monday - The Spirit Gives Life to Dry Bones

"Thus says the Lord God to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live." Ez. 37:5

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and awe and wonder in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord. Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be

Pentecost Novena - 3rd Day

Sunday - The Need to be Born of the Spirit

"Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God
without being born of water and Spirit"     Jn 3:5

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic Faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, Our Lord.      Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Pentecost Novena - Day 2

Saturday - Jesus' Promise of the Advocate

"When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth."   Jn 16:13

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and awe and wonder in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.    Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be

Pentecost Novena to the Holy Spirit - 1st Day

Friday - You will receive power

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."     Acts 1:8

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.       Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be

Combox Funnies or "Proof that Catholics are Bonkers"

This is a true conversation that took place when Floogle started the + 1 thingamajig. Names have been changed to protect the innocent:

m&m: Hey! I've got a bit of time on my hands...
...anyone want me to +1 them for a while?
I need a test market.

cadbury king:  I don't quite understand how +1 works. Try it on my blog if it doesn't hurt!
As I said on a previous comment; there's a spring protruding out of my computer chair and one pain is enough for now.

m&m: +1 ing will probably give you a pain in the same place that the spring does :) From what I can see and from what I have gleaned from Puffleberry, it's a way of recommending sites and posts to others and it works in a similar manner to "liking" something on Disgracebook. I just tested it on colleenchipcookie's's site and it worked. It works on yours too - I just +1'd your most recent post. It was hilarious!

puffleberry: When You +1 a post, it means you are recommending it to others on your floogle account. Say I +1 your post, when I +1 it it will ask me to sign into my floogle account, and the post will be promoted on my floogle account. It's like "like"ing something on disgracebook. Yikes, my verification word is "chest"!

m&m: In other words - It's a self-promoting gambit by Floogle to raise their standings in the stock market, right? Lol! Okay, I'm popping over to +1 you so I can see what happens. Thanks Puffleberry!
Chest? Yes, flogger has been a bit rude lately, Puffleberry, but do not take offense because this will become less noticeable once Frodoberry is weaned ;) Still, they should not be remarking on Puffleberry's "stuff" should they? If it makes you feel any better they commented on my rump once and it wasn't very flattering. I think it was "bigrump" or something along those lines.

cadbury king:  Very strange. I've just +1'd your post about Random thoughts on Food; and the picture of my book "Provisions" appeared there. I bet if you go and +1 it too then a picture of you will appear. Yepeee ... I have a new toy to play with! Somehow 2 people +1'd my post on Style Award on my flog. One was you. I wonder who the other one is? Then I +1'd myself to inflate my ego further.

m&m: Yup! You +1'd me alright! How come I didn't get to see the picture of your book though? They must have to work out some kinks still.You mean we can +1 our own posts? Cool!!
So are you saying you got +3'd? 

cadbury king: I +1'd my post on Style on my Flog. And so did you. But I have 3 +1s; so someone else must have done it. I +1'd your posts here. This one, and the previous one and the one about Random thoughts on Godiva. When I did so, I saw a little picture of my book Provisions next to the +1 Blue button you have to press. But, this only happens when I'm logged in to Flogger. If I log off and visit you, all it shows is the number of people who +1'd you. Very confusing. But still fun. I'll +1 everyone I visit. This should gain me extra bonus points with St Peter when I get to meet him. I'll tell him I +1'd everyone and I'd offer to +1 him too if he lets me in.

m&m: My family thinks I'm nuts because I'm laughing so hard at your comment! I think you +10'd me!! What a blast! I'm off to +20 you. I need bonus points with St. Peter too, you know. That comment almost made me fall off my chair...good one, cadbury king! The pearly gates will surely fly open when you stroll up!

m&m: By the way, I went to Floogle and typed in Time for Chocolate Confections and
+1'd your site itself. St Peter is loving me up there ;)

colleenchipcookie: Thanks m&m! This is funny! I still don't get how this all works. I am going to +1 you now!!

barbecue: So is this +1 stuff only open to Flogger users? This is the first I've heard of it.

m&m: colleenchipcookie,
You bet it's funny! Thanks for +1-ing me! Even if it doesn't work St Peter will still let you pass because your intention was to +1 ;)

m&m: barbecue,
I'm not sure. I +1'd your site on Floogle but I couldn't do it from your site itself. I think it's open to everyone but has to be enabled maybe? Or, maybe you have to be a chocoholic to apply?

karomello: m&m,
I noticed this feature at the end of mine as well as other floggers posts but never clicked it. I would have to agree it is more for boosting Floogle's ratings than anything else. I do like the other feature that Flogger provides where the icons to share a person's post either by e-mail Disgracebook, Flitter or Flog This appear at the end of a flogger's post.
Love the comedy routine between you and cadbury king; I'd like to +1 them :)

cadbury king: Thanx m&m for all your +1s. I think I'll go to Floogle and +1 them. That will confuse them that they've been +1'd. Then I'll go to the other ones ... you know, they call themselves ASK (Jeeves). And I'll ask them why is Floogle better. I wonder what they'll say. And I'll +1 them too to make them feel better.

cadbury king: I was +1'd by a driver today when he overtook me and waved his hand in the air. It's catching on I think.

m&m: karamello
I have no idea how the share feature got on my flog to be honest with you. Must have been during one of those "push random buttons and see what happens" sessions. This flog was built on those.
Pay no mind to our +1 ing rampage, some of us are easily amused by new gadgets ;) Be on guard though, you just may be next on our list! Oh...right, I already attacked your flog yesterday :) 

m&m: cadbury king,
Yes, I get +1'd a lot in the car too lately so it's definitely catching on.
You've got a great sense of humor, cad! It leaves me non+ed sometimes ;)

puffleberry: Hey, come on over and +1 me if you want!

m&m: Hi puffleberry,
On my way!

pez-on-pita:
+1 shows up in Floogle plus which, I guess you know, is the social network that Floogle is trying to use to compete with flitter/db. I kind of like it myself bc there's so few people on it, it's not full of folks promoting themselves & ads etc. Just more like a few folks talking. And you can put people in different circles so that you're not telling folks at work all about your homelife etc :-)

m&m:
Oh.

jellybean: I hadn't even noticed it myself. I'm a bit behind the times here:)

m&m: jellybean,
 Pay no attention to my babbling posts...I'm too easily amused by little stuff like this.

Try, Try, Try Again

You can try, try, try again.

Doesn't mean it will work though!

Every once in a while I like to check the keywords that bring people to my site. This week "wet girls in bathing suits" brought someone to my site, not once, but twice. To say I laughed is an understatement. I kept picturing the person's face when he landed here, no doubt sputtering, "I said 'wet girls in bathing suits', not  'humans bathing in the sea of God's mercy' ...you stupid computer!"

Surely, this is proof that God has a good sense of humor. He uses Googles "Floogles" (when Google flubs up) to bring people where they need to be. 

Man plans, God laughs ;)

You Have to Read This!

  At the Gates of Heaven - This post by Victor Moubarak is hilarious! Check it out!

The First Cut is the Deepest

In my last post I spoke about spiritual pride and how easily I got caught in this trap during my early walk with the Lord. I wasn't kidding about being devastated when He revealed to me that I was about as far from a saint as one could be. When the Lord first starts performing surgery in this area, the first cut is the deepest. By deepest, I mean most painful. Why? Because it's performed without anesthesia. Or with very little anesthesia.

Humility is God's anesthesia and when one has very little of this virtue, the divine surgery hurts tremendously. I was depressed and it bordered on despair. Here I was thinking I was giving my all to the Lord and He was dissatisfied (or maybe He wasn't but it sure felt this way).

I mean, what a waste! Here I was determined to pray an Our Father or a Hail Mary for every single person on this earth (and well on my way to doing so) when the Lord stopped me dead in my tracks! My Pieta book with the series of prayers to be said daily for months on end, plucked from my hands! My Rosaries, my novenas? Poof! Gone in a flash!

"I prayed that whole darn book over and over for nothing, Lord?"  (Well, I never actually made it through the whole year of St. Bridget's prayers though I sure as heck tried more than once.)

"And what about the six billion Hail Mary's I was well on my way to doing?! Dust?"

This was the first time I was booted off my throne and I wasn't liking it one bit.

"I suppose the Perpetual (man, that thing took forever)  Novena for the poor souls is off too?"

Prayer had become a "fig leaf", not a conversation with God.

In truth, the Lord was doing me a great kindness by teaching me you can't buy your way into heaven. Not only that, He was showing me "my" Rosaries, "my" Novenas, "my" way bore little resemblance to His way. His way was grace and I had a lot to learn in this area. I had to learn to pray with the heart and that the power in prayer stems from the Person, God,  behind the prayer,  not from the prayer itself. Added to that, I never shut up. Silence is an integral part of prayer; it's rude to do all the talking.  Listening matters.

Prayer is good. Novenas are wonderful. But following the leading of the Holy Spirit is the best. I DO still pray the Rosary and Novenas...but not for the same reasons.

"So Lord, how about the three day warning before my death? Is that one still a go?"  Lol. (Those who have read the older Pieta books will know what I mean ;)

Excessive Religiosity

Tissot: The Pharisee and the Publican

As human beings we have a tendency to cling to things with a tenacious grip. Whether it be people, objects, our viewpoints, or even our sins, we cling, cling, cling. Even to "religious stuff". We insist that people look at life through our eyes, blinded though these eyes may be. Though we read in the Bible that ALL have sinned, we may secretly harbor the thought that we don't sin all that much and surely God can see that. Like little robots we make sure we do everything precisely and correctly. Mass every day? Piece of cake! Four Rosaries? Done! A couple of Mercy Chaplets to top it off? No problem! Church committees, Eucharistic minister, Lector....anything for the Lord! Right?

No, not always. As a matter of fact? Unlikely. The things I mention above are very good things provided we understand that they are means and not ends in themselves. We are very good at fooling ourselves and thinking we are holier than we really are, especially if the outward "signs" look good.

Many of you who have walked through the desert (spiritually) for long periods of time know that God strips us of our own ideas of holiness. Often our thoughts on sanctity bear little resemblance to the Lord's. Excessive religiosity is often a symptom of  spiritual pride and is not an area that the Lord overlooks. It's often one of the first areas He works on after some of  the more "obvious" sins  are gone. This is an area in which we are purified and it can be difficult because we were often taught that the way we are doing things IS holy.  And it can be for some, if we are very, very, humble....which most of us are not.

It can be a tough road because we honestly believe we are doing something good; on the outside we make sure to act humbly before all, but inside we secretly think we just might be saints already. Despite clear warnings from the saints, not too long after my conversion I had a big problem in this area. Yes, St. Teresa warned me and warned me in her books but I thought, "Surely this doesn't apply to me." After all, I was being filled with spiritual consolations so I had to be doing something right, yes? Flooded with gifts, loaded with consolations. "Wow!" I thought.

Now I know why they call this period "the honeymoon".  I should have known there was much more to all this.

The truth is that I reeked to high heaven. (No doubt to the depths of hell, too.) Here I was hoping for the odor of sanctity and all I smelled like was a garbage pail.

 Sulphur even.

"Oh, c'mon Mary, surely you weren't dumb enough to fall for this?"

Heck, yes I was! Dumber even because I wallowed in it for a while! Needless to say, the "honeymoon" was quite short because the Lord wasn't going to allow this to go on for long.

I can still picture Satan laughing with glee, no doubt saying, "Let's get her to think she's a saint already, then our work will be so easy. (Satan is lazy and likes to take the shortest and quickest paths to destroying souls if he can.)

The Lord quickly began to disabuse me of my false notion of my own sanctity. And because I was so prideful I was devastated. Cut to the core!

 Embarrassed too.

But still... I mean:

Good grief!

I was only allowed to be a saint for six months?

(Grin)

Okay, I'm kidding.

The truth is: we really have to beware of this type of  "pseudo-transformation", the transformation of the outer person without the deep inner transformation that all of us so desperately need.  Understanding this is crucial to our spiritual progression. I think this is an area where many people get "stuck" and this is why the saints warn us so often about not getting caught in this particular trap.


When beginners become aware of their own fervor and diligence in their spiritual works and devotional exercises, this prosperity of theirs gives rise to secret pride - though holy things tend of their own nature to humility - because of their imperfections; and the issue is that they conceive a certain satisfaction in the contemplation of their works and of themselves. From the same source, too, proceeds that empty eagerness which they display in speaking of the spiritual life before others, and sometimes as teachers rather than learners. They condemn others in their heart when they see that they are not devout in their way. Sometimes also they say it in words, showing themselves herein to be like the Pharisee, who in the act of prayer boasted of his own works and despised the publican.                             St. John of the Cross

(For a good laugh you can read just how bad my problem with spiritual pride was: The First Cut is the Deepest.)

What Good CATholics do in Their Spare Time

Click here for a good laugh. My vote is for the "Kitten Caboodle Noodle Streudel".  New recipes gladly accepted.

(Note: this is a PETA-free zone)

Say "HELLo"

I was digging through my archives searching for a particular post when I ran across this:

One day, while my husband was out fishing, two men walked up to him. They greeted him and then asked him, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior?" Randy told them yes, he had. So, they started chatting with him. One of the men then asked, "What about your wife?" Randy said,  "Yep, she's Catholic." (This was before Randy entered the Church.) The two men looked shocked. One of them exclaimed, "You do know she's going to hell, don't you?!!" My husband is not one to mince words. Poker faced, he looked at them and replied, "Well then....make sure y'all say hi!"

The Space Between Us

Or maybe I should have titled this post - The World According to Victor Moubarak. After I remarked on the huge empty space between my last post and the comment box, he replied:
"And by the way, the reason for the long gap between your post and the comments box is to teach us patience and perseverance."

After laughing my rather large (rather large does not mean enormous by the way) you-know-what off I decided to leave the space in honor of our Lord's attempts to help us all grow in virtue. Never say that I don't care about you all!

Besides, I can't fix it anyway.

But I love the way Victor looks at the world! You will too - check out the link!

...But You, You BE Love

I have the bad habit of hounding the Lord when I'm unsure of myself and my place in the "big picture". Problem being - the "big picture" is just too big for me and I often tend to question my place in the scheme of things. In a world so focused on productivity it's very easy to feel lost and unwanted and this is the position I found myself in recently. Confused and feeling as if I just might be expendable. To others, certainly, and maybe, just maybe, to the Lord? This is an area where I often have difficulty and this type of wrong thinking sneaks up on me and catches me off guard. I have spoken of this type of stinking thinking in previous posts and though I know this thinking is faulty, it still creeps in from time to time. (I wrote this post a while back before my posts on the false kingdoms we create for ourselves and saved it in draft form. Today, I figured, "Why not publish it? Surely others go through similar difficulties.")


I should have known that the Lord had a lesson in store for me. I just didn't realize just how powerful this lesson would be. The Lord was about to topple my false world (as usual) and set it aright again.

It began shortly after starting my series on the seven deadly sins. After reading through them a few times  I questioned the Lord:

"How dare I write these, Lord? What gives me the right to do this when I am obviously so full of the very things I am writing about?" I felt ashamed that I was still having trouble with the seven deadly sins (maybe not all seven but certainly a couple) and I wondered if God could possibly be thinking, "What unmitigated gall?! Who does she think she is?!"

I forgot that God does not think as we do and that his strength is made perfect in weakness. More importantly, the words I spoke in the previous paragraph lack humility and trust. I looked at myself and took my eyes off of Him. When I doubt the Lord like this I seem to lose what I call "the anointing". When this anointing comes upon me words flow out of me as easily as water flows down a mountain. When it's not there? It's like trying to pass a boulder through the eye of a needle. I'll write a bit more about this at some point because it's something that has always fascinated me and I can often pick up when someone else is writing under "the anointing" too because the Holy Spirit floods my being. It's a bit like getting zapped by electricity. No doubt it's the Lord's way of saying, "Pay attention! You need to read this!"

After I questioned the Lord and wallowed in self-pity for a sufficient amount of time (well, at least the Lord thought it was enough time), the Lord came back with:

"Who better?"

And He had a good point. Who better to write about the deadly sins than someone who struggles with them? Strange as it may seem, I learn from my own posts. While I am writing them I often become aware that the Holy Spirit is sometimes asking me to work on the very things I am writing about in a deeper way. And that He will teach me something new at the same time.

Back to the reason for this post. Over the past few months one of the questions that has often been on my lips during prayer has been:

"What's my mission, Lord? What did you create me to be? Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing or am I failing utterly? Am I called to simply be a mother, a cleaner, a housewife? Why do I feel so unproductive and confused right now?

I  then compared myself (another mistake) to someone I know very well who seems to be extremely productive and found myself lacking.  "I wish I could be more like so-and-so, Lord."  Not expecting an answer, I was much surprised when I received a word that God had plans for "so and so", I was not to focus on others, and I was called to "be love".  I couldn't help but note the "BE" part of this word. It suggests more than simply to act in a loving manner. To "BE love" suggests that this love is already a part of us and simply needs to flow outward onto others. I knew this because I know about the indwelling of Love Himself, but I don't think it had sunk deeply enough into my heart yet. There is a huge chasm between head knowledge and heart knowledge.

I rarely share personal words but I decided to share this one because it contains a good lesson:

We are not loved for what we do but for who we are. It always comes back to this.  It was a reminder to me not to get caught up in the world's idea of productivity but rather to live in the present moment and allow the Lord to work through me, weaknesses and all. When I rely upon myself rather than God's grace...no good comes of it. When I rely on my own strength I quickly become discouraged, overwhelmed; I feel drained and paralyzed. When I lean on the Lord I feel peaceful  and quiet inside. The inner turmoil is dispersed, I am happier, and I have more energy.

Thank you, Lord, for correcting me.


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I have no idea why there is a huge space from this point to my comment section. Anyone know how to fix it? Electronically challenged people DO still exist. I can't even figure out which of my husband's four remote controls turns on the TV yet!