When will I learn?

 When will I ever learn to just leave my hair alone. Last year, pumpkin hair. This year... spaghetti head. And a huge Christmas party to attend in 5 days. For those folks who don't know what spaghetti head is - it's when a vain woman makes an appointment at a salon for a shimmering head of shiny dark blond highlights in her mousy colored hair and (much to Satan's glee) comes home with white spaghetti strands in meatball brown hair. Sigh.

Rats. Foiled again.

Wrinkles! Flab! Gray Hair!

I found 3 gray hairs on my head this year. At first  I tried to pass them off as blonde but they were stiff little buggers and this did not fly. " Nope, those are definitely gray." Or so says my husband. [By the way, Randy, the ones on your chest aren't blonde either. And no... the beach sun did not bleach them.]  A friend suggested that I pluck them out since there were only 3. WHAT! Pluck out my badges of honor. I didn't come by these three hairs easily I'll have you know! They were earned through hard labor. Besides, they match the 3 wrinkles on each side of my eyes. My mom says, "Those aren't wrinkles, those are expression lines." Thanks Mom, that really helps:(   My daughter is the honest one. She says, "But Mommy, I think your wrinkles are cute. I think that you are the second cutest girl in the whole wide world." [ She's the first, or so she believes...her world isn't very wide yet.] "And Mommy, your belly isn't fat, it's just mushy. I like you just the way you are....you're cuddly." I like Michaela's viewpoint the best. Cuddly, with cute wrinkles. I got my hair permed once; Michaela didn't like it. Everyone else did. She didn't like it because,"You don't look like Mommy." She had a point. Why would I want to change the way I look? If it's good enough for God, it should be good enough for me. Which brings up the question of vanity. Am I vain? The answer to this would have to be yes. I've certainly confessed it often enough. Do I want to be vain? The answer to this is a resounding, NO! The Lord has given us a natural cure for this type of vanity. Wrinkles! Gray hair! Mushy bellies? The medicine is slightly bitter but definitely effective.


We live in a world that is caught up in vanity. Look at movie stars. Look in fashion magazines. [I do not read these.] As a matter of fact, I rarely watch movies anymore. There are very few good ones. I don't watch much TV either. The things that used to draw me, now repulse me. Hollywood has gone over the edge and the landing will be rough. Occasionally a good movie will come along, but these are few and far between. Many books disgust me; I often toss them down after a few pages. I choose my books with more care now. The fine arts have lost their artistry. Or maybe I should say - authenticity. Instead of pointing to a greater truth, they point at themselves. True art is lost when it comes from the ego...the false self. Art inspires awe when it unveils true beauty; when it's aim is a truth greater than ourselves. Vanity is the word that comes to mind when I look at the fine arts in these days. I find that I have to search more diligently for honest expressions of these gifts now. When I do find them, I value them all the more. It is like digging for treasure. Sometimes all I find is fools gold, but here and there I will find a gem.

Thank you, O Lord, for helping me find gems of wisdom and pearls of truth in the midst of depravity. Purify me, that I might be a good example to my daughter and the youth of the world. Draw my eyes away from myself and towards Thee; for in Thee lies all truth.

Are you serious, Lord?

In the head of Mary N.


The other week the Lord called me to fast. (Piece a cake, I thought.) Then He said, "From makeup." I said , "Lord , you're kidding.....right?" He wasn't. I said, "Not my mascara, Lord , surely not that. Right?" Mascara too. 3 days. Offer it up in reparation for your vanity and that of the world.

Well, I did it folks. Hardly batted an eyelash either (wink).
On a more serious note: the Lord used these three days to heal a deep hurt from my childhood. Spiritually, He showed me why I started wearing makeup in the first place. When I was thirteen or fourteen (shortly after my confirmation) I was brutally beaten up by a school bully. My face was bruised and my eyes were blackened. I had to go to school like this for weeks while my face healed. I became an object of mockery to a gang of kids in the school. We were also poor and I only had 1 pair of pants, which I would scrub in the sink each night and then dry. My shirts were hand-me-downs from my sister and my cousin (they had slight frames , mine was medium). As you can guess, this gave them more food for the fodder. My maiden name was Dion and kids would yell loudly in the hall,  "Hey Dion, wearing the same pants AGAIN?" or with laughter "Where did you get the black eyes!" And on and on. My poor mother had to look upon her child's face bruised and beaten. This precious mother took ten dollars of our food money, which she really couldn't spare and used it to buy me another pair of pants. I would cry when I got home from school. I thought there was something wrong with ME and the way I looked . Soon after that I started wearing makeup a friend's sister had given me. It was like a mask I wore hiding the real me underneath.
During the 3 days that I fasted from makeup , the Lord healed my self-image and showed me how HE saw me. He made me feel beautiful inside and I could feel Him smiling at me. The makeup was just another fig leaf I used to cover the wounds that I should have brought to Him.
I have nothing against makeup, I still wear a little when I feel like it but I don't need it.

Thank you, Lord for healing me.