Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Bared - pt 2

The Lord knows everything about us. Including secret motivations of the heart that WE aren't even aware of. Buried deep inside us are often hidden agendas that need to be brought to the surface for healing. Over the years the Lord has drawn my attention to many of these - which I then tried to correct with the help of his grace. Still, until the experience of feeling as if my soul was bared to the Lord I had no idea how deeply rooted they were and how much work still had to be done. I'm realizing now that my previous experience of this type of purgation left me thinking , "Well this can't go on forever. There has to be an end to it at some point." Problem being...I have no clue where that point is. For all I know, this latest healing could be the merest tip of the iceberg. Sigh.

I'm always wary during periods of deep consolation. And if I'm being honest...they make me a bit nervous. And rightly so (lol). As thankful as I am for these profound experiences of God's love, I know what's coming next. From past experience, at least in my case, it seems that the greater the consolation...the greater the purgation that follows.

Healing isn't always pretty. But then again, neither are the wounds which the Lord is seeking to heal. Here is a brief glimpse of my prayer life during this period of  spiritual healing:

Each morning, after getting my daughter off to school, I like to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I always ask St. Faustina's intercession (Padre Pio's, too) while I pray this chaplet and I join my prayers to theirs. Much to my surprise, during this time, I rarely could make it through an entire Chaplet without bursting into tears. Huge great gulping sobs that I was powerless to stop. Sometimes these tears would go on for an hour. I was both shocked and appalled by this. Sure, I've cried during prayer before but never like these huge upheavals. And after these storms I would feel wonderful! Each day I would think that, surely it was over, but it just went on and on. The more I cried, the better I felt. It was as if the Lord was taking huge burdens off my soul and filling those places with love. Then, one day, the tears just stopped.

Last month I attended another healing service. Much to my surprise, I was called into the aisle, prayed over, and Slain in the Spirit. Within a couple days the tears during prayer started up again, much to my chagrin, and just stopped a few weeks ago. It left me feeling very peaceful.

We are oh so very fragile in our humanity. At times we despise this fragility but I've come to see that it is this very frailty that moves God's heart so much. He understands our total dependence on Him though we may not understand it ourselves. His strength is made perfect in weakness.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."    2 Cor. 12:9

28 comments:

  1. God's Grace, I guess if we never needed it we would never appreciate it.

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  2. Mary Christine,
    His grace works in strange ways sometimes, doesn't it? I definitely both need and appreciate this great gift :)

    I hope you're feeling better tonight, Mary Christine.

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  3. I often have that same experience when praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet.
    I think it is very beautiful how open and accepting you are to the Holy Spirit's "pruning".

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  4. I have always loved that verse - My grace is sufficient for you.. It reminds me of how I am nothing without God. Great post. Nice to have you back blogging!

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  5. Mary,

    You are special. You were ill for a long time and God chose to heal you when you attended a healing service with the priest you mentioned before.

    God saw your Faith and it was good.

    God bless.

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  6. Trust awesome that there is not a thing the Lord does not know about us. Blessings to you Mary.

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  7. I read this last night before going to bed and have really thought about it since. Sometimes when I read something like this I feel so shallow in my spiritual life because I don't even know what needs to be healed. Of course, I know there is probably a lot. I don't know, I pray but I feel so alone still sometimes. Maybe that means I don't really place my trust in God? Allow Him to work in me?

    Anyway, beautiful post.:) Thanks for writing it!

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  8. Mary,
    Thank you for sharing these thoughts and insights in your last 2 posts. I can relate to much of it. As I read the first part I had been thinking and praying for all those I know stuck in serious sin. Also how their sin affects me in some ways and what more I can do about it (not that prayer isn't a huge start) As I write this it occurs to me that I need to have Masses said and offered for this intention.
    I related very much to what you said about consolations. Strange as it may sound to some I too get nervous- for the reasons you mentioned, but for others as well.
    It is very difficult to live in the world today and not become part of it. That's a great part of the spiritual warfare we fight.
    The quote you used from Corinthians says it all. God's grace is sufficient- and when we cooperate with it- it does what we can't of ourselves.
    Thanks again and God bless!

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  9. Judy,
    Isn't the Divine Mercy Chaplet beautiful?! One of my favorite prayers along with the Rosary! As for accepting the Holy Spirit's pruning:
    I don't have much choice do I?
    Just kidding! I shouldn't joke around about these things so much but I can't resist. In all honesty, I am very grateful for this pruning process.
    God bless you, Judy! No more bouts of the flu in your home I hope!

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  10. Hi Colleen,
    Great news about your book being available on Nook now! I hope God will use it to reach many people who have suffered abuse and that it will be a vehicle of grace for them.
    Yes, we are nothing without God's grace. Every day I am struck by this fact. God bless you, Colleen :)

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  11. Victor,
    You really got me on that castle video :) I'm a bit gullible!
    The healing Mass I attended last month was presided over by the same priest that Jesus healed me through. This priest (Father DiOrio) has been given some amazing gifts from our Lord. They don't come without a lot of suffering for him, though. I think I'm going to do a post about him soon. His story is amazing!

    Thank you for your kind words, Victor. You are in my prayers.

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  12. JBR,
    Isn't it wonderful? The fact that He knows everything about us and loves us anyway shows we should never be afraid of approaching Him in our needs. He accepts us where we are at and then transforms us by his grace. What a beautiful thing!
    I hope you are doing well today, my friend. I am praying for you.

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  13. Colleen,
    We often have no idea what needs to be healed in us. Most of the time I'm clueless until God reveals it to me. Once He does, I have these Aha! moments and I always wonder how I could have been so blind to my flaws.
    You are never, ever, alone. As for thinking that you may not be allowing Him to work in you: Set your heart at ease. I have read many of your posts and He is working beautifully through you. He has given you a truly wonderful writing gift among many others.

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  14. Karin,
    I often think consolations are periods of strengthening before having to tackle the next mountain. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets a bit nervous about them! (Hee! Hee! Isn't that selfish? So sorry! :)
    You are right about the difficulty in living in this world today. To see how off track we are today is very hard and to see how many innocent people are suffering because of this waywardness is brutal. And as you say, not conforming to the world IS a big part of the battle we face.
    Thanks for commenting Karin!

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  15. I'm so pleased you liked my video Mary. Hope your readers visit my Blog and like it too.

    I certainly look forward to your post about Father DiOrio. I so wish he were in the UK.

    Thanx for your prayers too. God knows I need prayers right now.

    God bless.

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  16. Mary, always appreciate you prayers. I do not know if I ever told you before or not, but every time I see your profile picture, your face is a comfort to me. Even though I know you have your own struggles, the smile on your face is warming. Blessings.

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  17. I've been thinking, I suppose, on somewhat similar lines. Forgive me for being ridiculous for a minute - but I've been feeling like getting the dry, dead skin off my foot after having my cast removed sort of reflects this purgative experience. It hurts, it's taken days, and just when I think I've got it all off - nope, there's a whole other layer! Sorry, that's gross. But - I guess I just mean, I hear you, sister! I hope :-P

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  18. Thank you for those lovely words...so encouraging.

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  19. JBR,
    That is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. You have no idea how touched I was by your comment. There is something very special about you, my friend. I know you may not see it yet yourself but it is there and as I've said before - I have an huge soft spot for you that I am certain God placed in my heart. God bless you, JBR :)

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  20. Maria,
    Awesome that your cast finally came off! Bet it feels good to be able to scratch your foot again ;) Your analogy may be gross (lol) but it fits!

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  21. Colleen,
    You're welcome :) You're little guy is absolutely adorable! His smile is catchy!

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  22. Came by to give you a hug this day.... ((((Mary))))

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  23. Mary, this is wonderful. You're right in that He knows what needs healing and will do whatever it takes to get to it. Like you, I am wary of consolations because you are right, they cannot last. I've had those periods of heavy tears and am most grateful when the purging comes without those.

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  24. I will cry sometimes when I pray . . . because I am suddenly overcome with the knowledge that He really loves me - and I'm just "on fire" with His love. I usually shed a tear or two after Communion when I pray "Stay With Me Lord" prayer of Padre Pio. That prayer certainly covers all the bases, for me.

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  25. Oh, and I forgot to say this, but I love love love how you just bare it all here. You are such a good witness of Christ and the Saints to me. Thank you for desiring to do God's Will and sharing with us.

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  26. Anne,
    Thanks for letting me know about your experience with this. I was quite dumbfounded by the tears and the length of time it lasted.
    You're right about those sweet periods not lasting - what a bummer, eh? LOL!

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  27. Sarah,
    Thanks for your comments! I sometimes wish that it wasn't so difficult to do God's will over my own. It's an endless battle because I so often want my will to be done instead of His, but when I do things my way... I'm miserable. Good thing God is patient.
    Thanks for sharing your experiences during prayer and Communion. I guess it's a good thing you, Anne, and I don't go to the same church because we'd all be flooding the place ;)

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  28. Thank you for sharing that. It's good motivation for me to spend more time in prayer.

    God Bless you!

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