Envy is sorrow when faced with the talents, gifts, material goods and blessings of others. Envy isn't looking at others and noticing their gifts and virtues. Emulating someone is not envy. Looking up to someone is not envy. Wanting what they have AND feeling sad or wishing they did not have it is envy. Looking upon someone as a hero or model is good and can help us by motivating us to improve ourselves. Saints come to mind here and having a saint as a role model can help one progress in virtue. There's humility in looking up to someone else. Humility looks up, envy looks down. This makes perfect sense since one is from heaven while the other is from hell. The humble person may try to emulate his or her hero, an envious person has no heroes because envy distorts truth and seeks to strip the heroic qualities away from others. Humility applauds, envy belittles.
Peter Kreeft, in his book Back to Virtue, has this to say about envy: Envy removes joy because envy is the opposite of gratitude, and gratitude is the seedbed of joy. This particular sentence stuck with me because it shows us one of the ways to combat envy ...gratitude. Cultivating a grateful heart is one of the first steps toward living a life of joy and peace. One of the ways we can do this is by meditating on God's deep and individual love for each and every one of us. In God's eyes we are each unique and utterly irreplaceable. Every single person on this planet has a mission and purpose that is unique to that person. No other person can do this particular "job for God" because they are not equipped for it. I can't fulfill your mission and you can't fulfill mine. We live in a culture that has lost it's respect for the sanctity of human life and the end product of this "ingratitude" is a society that sees people as easily replaced. Simply being immersed in such an atmosphere can result in feeling unlovable and disposable. God, on the other hand, sees everyone as "special". He loves us so much that He refuses to live without us and has gone so far as to have a place in heaven waiting for each one of us. He even tells us this is so! We are the ones who reject Him... He NEVER rejects us. Pure love is incapable of rejecting anyone. When we begin to really understand and trust in the immensity and purity of this love a grateful heart becomes very easy to cultivate.
While writing these posts on the seven deadly sins I have noticed a common thread that weaves through them :
Fear.
Another blogger commented on this too. The seven deadly sins seem to be fear-based for most of us. Fear of not being lovable, fear of not measuring up, fear of our own sinfulness, fear that, because there IS a hell, then maybe we could just possibly end up there. Perfect love casts out fear and this is the reason that I believe meditating on God's love is the surest path of healing for us. When we grow in the knowledge of God's tremendous love for us gratitude comes easily and a grateful heart is a loving heart.
Along with practicing the virtue of charity, envy can be opposed by meditating on Scripture passages that speak of God's great love for his people as a whole and for the individual person. I'll list a few Scripture verses that are helpful at the end of this post. Another thing that I think may be helpful to those battling against envy is understanding that other people make us holier. It's very difficult to grow in holiness alone. One of the ways we grow in virtue is through our interactions with others. Also, when we help others grow in holiness...we grow in holiness. God likes it when we ask Him to make saints out of others. I ask him to do this all the time because God loves to answer this particular prayer. One of the drawbacks of living in such a competitive world is that it can pit us against one another if we allow it to. This is not God's way but man's way. God wants us to help one another grow in holiness. Praying for those we envy is very helpful in overcoming this capital sin.
Here are some helpful Scripture passages on love and gratitude:
~ John 3:16
~ Eph 2: 4-5
~ Rom. 8: 37-39
~ Jer. 29:11
~ Psalm 86
~ 1 Jn 4: 9-11
~ Gal. 2:20
~ Psalm 136
~ Col. 2: 6-7
~ Heb. 12:28-29
Showing posts with label envy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label envy. Show all posts
Friday, December 2, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
The Sad Face of Envy
As a moth gnaws a garment, so doth envy consume a man.
St. John Chrysostom
St. Thomas Aquinas defines the capital sin of envy as "sorrow at another's good". No wonder very few people admit to envy... even the definition sounds terrible. It's hard to believe we actually may become sorrowful when good things happen to others, or if others have special gifts and talents, but most of us have been here at some point. As a child and young adult I remember envying others a lot. I would actually feel sad and wish that they did not have the gifts they had. Envy is one of the first things that God worked out of me and he did this by showing me his love. Once we understand the greatness of God's love for us envy tends to fall by the wayside because we understand the one true need in our life is God himself and that this gift is given to everyone without exception. Many of the seven deadly sins are fear based and envy is one of these. The problem with envy is that it is completely lacking in charity. It not only sorrows because someone else has been blessed in some way, it wishes the person had not received the gift or blessing. It may even wish ill on others. I started this post with the quote from St. John Chrysostom because of the truth it contains... envy consumes a person from within if it is not stopped in its tracks.
Envy is a sin against charity. Love seeks good for others, envy the opposite. One common sign that envy is at play is when you hear someone praise a person and then proceed to rip them apart. For instance:
"Don't you just love Mabel?! She is so talented! Still, it's just terrible that she doesn't know how to keep those children of hers in line. As smart as she is you would think that her mothering skills would be better. And did you see that AWFUL dress she wore to the wedding? It matched that plaid sofa she's got in her living room! Bless her heart! That woman has no taste...(yap, yap, yap)." The conversation goes on and by the end it is clear that Mabel is one slothful/ugly/mean/crazy/ungrateful, but don't forget talented, woman in the eyes of the speaker. Gossip often has its roots in envy.
Spiritual envy goes one step further. It actually sorrows over another's relationship with God. I found this quote by St. John of the Cross at Portiuncula: the Little Portion and it gives an example of just how unloving envy can be:
"Certain beginners feel disappointed when they perceive the goodness of another. They suffer from profound envy and can hardly bear it when they realize that someone else is ahead of them on the spiritual path. They would rather not hear another be praised. When they find that another's virtues are being celebrated, they can't stand it and are compelled to contradict them. Because no one is saying such great things about them, their annoyance grows; they yearn for preference in all things."
St. John of the Cross
Envy is dangerous because it leads to so many other sins - detraction, calumny, lies, uncontrolled anger, and other sins against charity.
Here are some of the signs and symptoms of envy:
~ bitterness
~ fault finding
~ resentment
~ fear
~ low self-esteem
~ depression (a note: depression can have physical causes too so this takes discernment)
~ judgmental attitude toward others
~ contempt for others
~ lying
~ gossiping
~ detraction
~ slander
~ ingratitude
~ a lack of peace and joy
Similar to the distortion pride brings, those who struggle with envy have a warped view of God, themselves, and others. All the deadly sins distort truth in some way and envy does it with a vengeance. If sloth makes it seem as if one is constantly trudging through water, envy is like stumbling through the rough waters after a storm and then throwing down stones in hopes of making the way more difficult for others. I say this because sloth has no storms whereas envy is filled with them. One is more apathetic than the other. Those who are envious end up walking alone because envy (like pride) is against unity and God is all about unity. Sloth may not even notice that someone is next to them while envy is perfectly aware that someone is with them and resents it. Sloth is more apt to sin through omission, envy - commission. Both are deadly. You can find out more about the sin of sloth in my post, The Joy Thief.
It probably comes as no surprise that envy's opposing virtue is charity. This in itself shows the deadliness of envy. In my post, Facing off with Envy, you can find some practical ways to tackle envy. Practicing the virtue of charity is helpful but what I found most helpful in this area is meditating on the love of God. Gratitude is another powerful weapon against envy and I speak more about this in Facing off with Envy. I also speak about what envy is not because this deadly sin can be confusing at times.
St. John Chrysostom
St. Thomas Aquinas defines the capital sin of envy as "sorrow at another's good". No wonder very few people admit to envy... even the definition sounds terrible. It's hard to believe we actually may become sorrowful when good things happen to others, or if others have special gifts and talents, but most of us have been here at some point. As a child and young adult I remember envying others a lot. I would actually feel sad and wish that they did not have the gifts they had. Envy is one of the first things that God worked out of me and he did this by showing me his love. Once we understand the greatness of God's love for us envy tends to fall by the wayside because we understand the one true need in our life is God himself and that this gift is given to everyone without exception. Many of the seven deadly sins are fear based and envy is one of these. The problem with envy is that it is completely lacking in charity. It not only sorrows because someone else has been blessed in some way, it wishes the person had not received the gift or blessing. It may even wish ill on others. I started this post with the quote from St. John Chrysostom because of the truth it contains... envy consumes a person from within if it is not stopped in its tracks.
Envy is a sin against charity. Love seeks good for others, envy the opposite. One common sign that envy is at play is when you hear someone praise a person and then proceed to rip them apart. For instance:
"Don't you just love Mabel?! She is so talented! Still, it's just terrible that she doesn't know how to keep those children of hers in line. As smart as she is you would think that her mothering skills would be better. And did you see that AWFUL dress she wore to the wedding? It matched that plaid sofa she's got in her living room! Bless her heart! That woman has no taste...(yap, yap, yap)." The conversation goes on and by the end it is clear that Mabel is one slothful/ugly/mean/crazy/ungrateful, but don't forget talented, woman in the eyes of the speaker. Gossip often has its roots in envy.
Spiritual envy goes one step further. It actually sorrows over another's relationship with God. I found this quote by St. John of the Cross at Portiuncula: the Little Portion and it gives an example of just how unloving envy can be:
"Certain beginners feel disappointed when they perceive the goodness of another. They suffer from profound envy and can hardly bear it when they realize that someone else is ahead of them on the spiritual path. They would rather not hear another be praised. When they find that another's virtues are being celebrated, they can't stand it and are compelled to contradict them. Because no one is saying such great things about them, their annoyance grows; they yearn for preference in all things."
St. John of the Cross
Envy is dangerous because it leads to so many other sins - detraction, calumny, lies, uncontrolled anger, and other sins against charity.
Here are some of the signs and symptoms of envy:
~ bitterness
~ fault finding
~ resentment
~ fear
~ low self-esteem
~ depression (a note: depression can have physical causes too so this takes discernment)
~ judgmental attitude toward others
~ contempt for others
~ lying
~ gossiping
~ detraction
~ slander
~ ingratitude
~ a lack of peace and joy
Similar to the distortion pride brings, those who struggle with envy have a warped view of God, themselves, and others. All the deadly sins distort truth in some way and envy does it with a vengeance. If sloth makes it seem as if one is constantly trudging through water, envy is like stumbling through the rough waters after a storm and then throwing down stones in hopes of making the way more difficult for others. I say this because sloth has no storms whereas envy is filled with them. One is more apathetic than the other. Those who are envious end up walking alone because envy (like pride) is against unity and God is all about unity. Sloth may not even notice that someone is next to them while envy is perfectly aware that someone is with them and resents it. Sloth is more apt to sin through omission, envy - commission. Both are deadly. You can find out more about the sin of sloth in my post, The Joy Thief.
It probably comes as no surprise that envy's opposing virtue is charity. This in itself shows the deadliness of envy. In my post, Facing off with Envy, you can find some practical ways to tackle envy. Practicing the virtue of charity is helpful but what I found most helpful in this area is meditating on the love of God. Gratitude is another powerful weapon against envy and I speak more about this in Facing off with Envy. I also speak about what envy is not because this deadly sin can be confusing at times.
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