A Healing Balm for the Soul

An Allegory of Man

What is the cure for the soul that is weary? What is the antidote to a world stricken with vice? The remedy for the soul overwhelmed by despair?

What "sweetens" the crosses we bear?

The answer is one and the same for all of the questions above.

Virtues. Those God given helps for the soul. The beautiful "coat of many colors" the soul needs to be cloaked in...that God yearns to cover its nakedness, its poverty, with so it doesn't walk about the world completely exposed to that which seeks to harm it.

In the painting above, "An Allegory of Man", Man is being attacked by the Seven deadly Sins and Death, but is shielded by the Seven Virtues. We have really gotten away from studying and practicing the virtues in the past century and this loss is becoming more noticeable each day as the proliferation of every kind of sin and vice sweeps across humanity. Sometimes it's hard to believe that we can be so obdurate in our unwillingness to see what is as plain as the nose on our face:

The world is drowning in the Seven Deadly Sins. We all struggle with them but millions have given themselves over to them completely.

The loss of the practice of virtue in this world has had tragic repercussions. One of the effects of the Deadly sins is that they do in fact have a deadening effect on the soul. The soul grows numb and weary. It cannot function properly in the manner that it was created to - as a clean and holy temple of the Holy Spirit. It loses its sense of being closely connected to God. The soul falls asleep, you could say.

We are a people who are snoring their way into oblivion. An oblivion where no one exists except me, myself, and I. The ultimate dreamworld where the only god that exists is the god of self. A world where people have forgotten both God and neighbor. (Oh, wait, so sorry...I forgot that this "dreamworld" actually has a name. Hell, I think it's called. )

The virtues on the other hand "wake up" the soul. They have a vivifying effect on it because their source is God. When the soul is not coated in virtues it feels their absence because the spiritual state of man depends on the virtues. We have lost our understanding of the protection virtues give us, a truth which the people of past centuries understood well.

When our physical bodies are ill they manifest clear symptoms so that we know something is wrong. It's the same for our souls - they too manifest spiritual symptoms so that we may take note and apply the remedies needed to cure its ills.

And God has given us so many remedies.

 One of the greatest is Confession, which purges the soul of the poisons within it. Once the poison is cleared, the virtues have the necessary room to take root, flourish and grow. Not confessing our sins is like trying to plant a seed in rocky soil, the plant has no room to grow because the soil (of the soul) is so poor. Confession removes the rocks and preps the soil.

Prayer is the conduit through which the soil is watered.

Holy Scripture and the Eucharist feed it. (Anyone who likes gardening knows soil needs to be fertilized to produce anything worthwhile.)

The virtues protect it and cause the soil of the soul to produce fruit abundantly.

Let's turn the tide of sin and despair in our world today by praying for and practicing the virtues.


Sanctify yourself and you will sanctify society.
                   St Francis of Assisi

Into the Silence

Artwork: Night by Edward Burne-Jones

One foot in time

One foot in eternity

O, be still my mind

Be still my soul

For in the deepest silence

of the human soul

lies the peace which

surpasses all understanding

and in the quiet chambers

of a peaceful heart
                                                 
                                                                time stands still

                                                                and eternity begins

                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you.        St. Augustine

Cultivating inner silence is an important part of prayer. In the midst of the clamor of the world, which is louder than ever in our day, I would go so far as to say this silent time is imperative for most of us because it is in the silent sanctuary of our souls that we find the rest we so desperately need, it is there we find the "peace that surpasses all understanding". When we search for this peace on the surface of our lives it's hard to find but if we look at the calm beneath the storms of life, if we turn our gaze to the inner recesses of the soul, there we find God's steady presence.

Rather, I have stilled my soul, hushed it like a weaned child. Like a weaned child on its mother's lap, so is my soul within me.       Psalm 131:2

And behold, the veil in the sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom.  Mt.27:51

Thanks to Jesus we may enter the "inner sanctuary" - that place in our innermost being where God and the soul are in intimate communication.  It can be compared to the Holy of Holies in the temple. That place "beyond the veil" which we cannot see with our physical senses but become aware of with our spiritual senses.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?      1 Cor. 6: 19

The ark of the commandments you shall bring inside, behind this veil, which divides this holy place from the holy of holies.            Ex.26:33

You yourself are His dwelling and His secret chamber and hiding place.       St John of the Cross

Time seems to stand still in the inner recesses of our souls. I never quite understood how this could be exactly but a good guess is that our souls don't experience time in the same way our physical bodies do. Our souls, I guess you could say, stand outside of time in some strange way, even as our physical bodies stand very firmly IN time.  Because we are body, soul, and spirit we exist both in time and outside of time. This is the reason a person can experience heaven as a spiritual state of being while still in time. Our souls rest in God who is beyond time.

What more can you desire, what more can you seek without, seeing that within you have your riches, your delight, your fullness and your kingdom; that is your Beloved, Whom you desire and seek? Rejoice, then, and be glad in Him with interior recollection, seeing that you have Him so near. Then love Him, then desire Him, then adore Him, and go not to seek Him out of yourself, for that will be but distraction and weariness, and you shall not find Him; because there is no fruition of Him more certain, more ready, or more intimate than that which is within.     
                                                  St. John of the Cross (A Spiritual Canticle of the Soul)

Here are a few beautiful scripture passages (along with  the verses and quotes I mention above) that I have been meditating on recently that deeply resonate within my soul whenever I think of the indwelling of The Holy Trinity:

I in them and you in me, that they may be brought to perfection as one, that the world may know you sent me, and that you loved them even as you loved me.                 John  17:23

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts become troubled or afraid." John 14:27

The Joy Thief

"Accidia" 

"We would like to get back to our innocence and joy, but they are cold and sepulchered."          
                                                                             Archbishop Fulton Sheen


The Seven Deadly Sins steal your joy. But perhaps none so much as the deadly sin of sloth, also known as acedia. If you lack joy in your life this may be the deadly sin to look at first, so great are its detrimental effects on the soul. Sloth is the head "joy thief" because, well...that happens to be its job description. It is sadness in the face of joy, sorrow for the things of God. Or as Peter Kreeft, in his book Back to Virtue, so bluntly describes it:

"Sloth is the most depressing thing in the world. It is hell on earth. It finds our very highest joy - God himself - joyless. If Joy himself is joyless, where can we find joy? If salt has lost its saltiness, how can it be restored? If the very light in us is darkness, how great is that darkness?"

This is the best explanation of sloth that I have ever seen. Sloth finds Joy himself...joyless.

Scary, huh? Sloth is like walking around in the bright sunshine with a huge black cloud hanging over your head. You can't see the light for the darkness that surrounds you.

St. Thomas Aquinas says that sloth is a "sluggishness of the mind which neglects to begin good...its evil is in its effect, if it so oppresses man as to draw him away from good deeds". So, sloth is not only joyless, it is neglectful as well.

Those who are encumbered by this deadly sin walk this world in a half-hearted fashion and I believe it is one of the biggest problems that this century is faced with. Those who are lukewarm almost always have a problem with sloth. Sloth is a spiritual torpor, a listlessness of the spirit that leads most often to sins of omission rather than sins of commission. Rather than confronting this joyless spirit head-on, many try to escape it by frantically rushing around in an attempt to outrun the heaviness in their hearts and the sword of sorrow hanging over their heads. This is where sloth gets ugly, for in trying to escape it we make matters worse. Sloth doesn't like to confront, it likes to avoid. It is a spiritual languor that says, "I still have time...I'll take care of spiritual matters tomorrow. Today I just have too many things to do - I have to get this shopping done, the game is on, these e-mails have to go out, my blog is waiting (hmmm), etc...

Here are a few of the signs (or symptoms, one could say) of sloth:
~ An aversion to prayer - this can be mild or great depending on how deeply rooted this vice is
~ Aridity
~ Lack of zeal
~ Disorganization
~ Confusion (spiritual)
~ Apathy or discouragement
~ Boredom
~ Putting off tasks or leaving them undone without good reason
~ A lack of awe
~ Ingratitude
~ Sadness (melancholy)
~ Excessive activity that hides a spiritual languor - too busy for God

The seven deadly sins tend to be "intertwined" with each other like interlocking pieces of a hellish puzzle. For most of us there tends to be one particular deadly sin that takes precedence over the others. In other words, it is the "kingpin" and hitting the kingpin helps take down the other deadly "pins" that have attached themselves to our souls.

Sloth is sneaky, irresponsible, and apathetic when it comes to God but there are remedies for this vice and one of the ways we tackle it is by practicing the opposing virtue. In the case of sloth/acedia the opposing virtue is diligence. Exercising virtues builds your spiritual muscles. Another virtue which opposes sloth is charity.

It's important to remember that joy isn't a "thing" to be grasped. Joy is alive. Joy is a person.
Set your heart on God and there you will find your Joy.

Four Score and Seven Years Ago...

Have you ever lost your taste for all things spiritual for a while? Or for years? You read a book about the saints and it seems dull and flat, as if you were reading a dictionary. No leaps of the spirit while reading the Bible...no, it's as if you were reading through an encyclopedia, or worse, a boring medical tome. It feels as if you are spiritually deaf and blind to boot. Prayer is so dry that it feels as if you are reciting the Gettysburg address rather than addressing the God of all that is.

You wonder if your mind and heart have gone on vacation. And have forgotten to let you know they were leaving.

You can only hope that they haven't vacated the premises permanently.

Why is God allowing this you ask? Wouldn't it be better if we could pray with our hearts on fire every single day? Or if God's light illumined our hearts and minds to such a degree that prayer always flowed smoothly with nary a distraction? Ever.

"You know, Lord, so I can hurry up, become a saint overnight and do your will. If we could simply get all the "yucky stuff" over with I'm sure things would be better all around."

Yeah...right. Fat chance of that happening.

Well, it was worth a shot in the dark, anyway.

Dark being the key word.

After years and years of these periods of aridity, or worse, desolation, you begin to realize that all this
"yucky stuff" is actually the good stuff. It is during these times that  much of God's hidden work is being done.

 Perseverance is important during periods of aridity or desolation. Here's a helpful link: The Way to Heaven. The entire book is online but I linked specifically to the pages on aridity and desolation. It will give you some relief to know you are in good company!

If this doesn't help, try St. Joseph. He has never failed me when all is dark.

Intercessory Prayer

I get a lot of e-mails from readers asking about my post on intercessory prayer gifts. Most ask if I can provide a more detailed article on the subject so I edited my previous post on this subject and added information that might be of interest to those who have written to me. I have broken down some of the "signs" that point to a call in this area and have added some suggestions that may be useful.

Intercessory prayer is "standing in the gap" or bringing others to God through your prayers. Anyone can and should intercede for others, especially those who are in trouble spiritually and cannot or will not pray for themselves. We, as Christians, are called to pray for our brothers and sisters in this world.

We are all called to intercede for our brothers and sisters, however, for some, the Lord has given the gift of intercessory prayer in a special way. Not because the person is "special" (we are all equally loved by God) but simply because it is a particular "mission" that God wants them to focus on and to do for Him. Each person is unique and has certain gifts that stand out more than other gifts and it's good to be able to discern what particular gifts the Lord has given to us so that we can better understand how to use them to help others.

This prayer charism, intercessory prayer, is the primary  focus of this post. General intercession is also important and is one of our duties as Christians but this post is about discerning the particular charism of intercessory prayer which differs from interceding in general.

Intercessory prayer opens the floodgates of God's mercy and releases torrents of grace upon the one we intercede for. Why is this manner of praying so powerful? Simply because God has willed it to be so. God is love and intercessory prayer is a prayer driven by love Himself.

The Holy Spirit gives the gift of powerful, intense prayer to the intercessor. It is a burning prayer, forceful, and impossible to ignore. The Holy Spirit will bring the person that He is calling you to pray for to your heart and mind along with the overwhelming urge to pray for this person. It seems as if you are before the Mercy Seat as the Lord shares with you His love and mercy for the one you are praying for; it may even bring you to tears, as the Lord's mercy is a thing of incredible beauty. It is a deep all-encompassing prayer, it feels as if it is being pulled out of you. You are left feeling awestruck at the depths of God's mercy. This is completely the Holy Spirit's work; the person praying is simply the vehicle as a member of the body of Christ. This charism, as with any, grows stronger when the person cooperates with the Spirit, when he or she becomes more sensitive to the working of the Holy Spirit within them.

Oddly enough, God may bring total strangers to you before drawing you into this prayer. The Holy Spirit moves the person's heart to open up to you and they will often pour out their problems even though they do not know you. It's actually kind of strange when this happens, as it is unexpected. Other times you may just be praying in general and the Holy Spirit draws you into intercessory prayer. Sometimes it is out of the blue, but it is enough to understand that He is doing it for a good purpose and it can help others immensely.

In these times the Lord is calling for intercessory prayer in a powerful way. Differentiating between our duty as Christians to intercede for others and the charism of intercession can help one understand whether they are called in a special way in this area...and many are. I believe this is one of the more common gifts. The question is:

How do we know we are called to this type of prayer in a special way?

Also, are there signs that the Lord is calling us into deep intercessory prayer? How are we to respond?

First, I'd like to clearly state that we each have spiritual gifts and we all share in the gifts of others. They are used to build the Mystical Body of Christ, of which we are each a part. Some have healing gifts (Father DiOrio comes to mind here), others have supernatural gifts of wisdom (such as Blessed Mother Teresa), words of knowledge, prophecy, teaching gifts, discernment of spirits - the list goes on and on.  These gifts are extremely useful today because of the spiritual burden we are under due to the increase of sin in the world.

I'll start with the first question. How do we know we are called to intercessory prayer in a deeper way?

Those who have the gift of intercessory prayer tend to have deeply compassionate hearts. It may seem to others that they are overly sensitive but this is a necessary aspect of the gift. Without this sensitivity of the spirit to both God and others the gift cannot develop to the degree God would like it to. Others may consider intercessors to be "overly emotional" and impractical people. They may have mood swings and they may seem to "suffer" more than the average person because a prayer burden can be...well...a burden. Physically and mentally, because what affects the spirit can also affect the body.

Intercessors tend to have a strong "pull" to pray for others. It may even feel like a strong pressure upon the soul. Passages in the Bible such as Moses intercession for for the Israelites during the battle with Amelek stand out for them. "As long as Moses kept his hands raised up, Israel had the better of the fight, but when he let his hands rest, Amelek had the better of the fight." (See Ex. 17:8-13).  The passage where Abraham intercedes for intercedes for Sodom tugs at their hearts (See  Gn. 18: 16-33) as well as other passages in Scripture such as Jesus' weeping, His Agony in the Garden, His pleading with the Father on the Cross, " Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."  Passages such as these burn like a fire in their hearts. They are being called to "stand in the gap" for others.

As for the second question, are there signs that the Lord is calling us to this in a deeper way? Yes, I believe there are. Here are some of the signs:

~ Your heart feels heavily burdened despite the fact that things in your life are running smoothly and there seems to be no valid reason for the burden.  It makes no sense...your heart feels weighed down and you can't figure out why. That is a very common sign of a "prayer burden". Especially when the burden comes upon you suddenly. For instance, you are driving in your car and a feeling of grief or sadness comes over you when you were fine just moments before and there is no logical reason for the heaviness in your heart. If this happens to you often try this:

Start praying and offer the prayers to God for those in need. Continue until the burden lifts. You'll know when it lifts by the feeling of peace that comes over you.

~ You seem to suffer more than the average person and yet there seems to be no logical cause. Why? I believe this gives you a hint about what to pray for.

~ You have pain in the pit of your stomach that comes and leaves after heavy-duty prayer.

~ You get bodily symptoms that make no sense. They come and go. (Here we are stepping into "words of knowledge" and this can be useful in discerning what you are called to pray for.) God
  has to signal the need for prayer in some way or another and this can be one of them.

~  Names and faces come to your mind over and over again. We should pray when this happens.

~ You have unusual dreams about people or dreams in which you are battling forces of evil.

~ You wake up during the night and someone is strongly on your mind.

~ You feel a burning or sensation of heat in your body and an inexplicable yearning to pray comes over you.

~ A sense of emergency (like a spiritual 911 call) comes over you. It doesn't let up except through prayer. Once it lets up you can stop praying.

~ Offering up Masses and going to Adoration relieves the "spiritual burden" as these are powerful sources of obtaining grace for others.

~ At times it feels as if "the veil of heaven" has parted and you are standing before The Mercy Seat. Intercessory prayer can feel as if you have stepped into "The Holy of Holies" at times. It can be a very powerful experience for the intercessor.

~ Tears for no obvious reason. For example, you are doing the dishes, a face or name comes to mind, your eyes well up, and a feeling of great compassion comes over you. This is a call to prayer for that person.

No doubt there are other signs but the ones I listed above are very common. If these things happen to you then you can be assured that God is calling you strongly as an intercessor. The answer is to pray, pray, pray.

God sometimes asks for someone to intercede in a more direct manner (for example: a vision of someone in danger, through words, etc..), especially in an emergency. The key is to pray until peace or a feeling of joy comes over you. This peace is a sign that your job is done, at least for the time being.

Those who are interceding for others can also fast and offer up small sacrifices to the Lord during the course of the day. Over time, intercessors grow in the ability to discern "calls to prayer" and are able to respond to the Lord in a more timely manner.

I'd also like to mention that during these periods of intercessory prayer it is important to refrain from any personal petitions that you may have. Bringing your own "stuff" into the mix seems to interfere greatly with intercessory prayer. It's best to wait until your personal prayer time to bring
anything else before the Lord.

I hope this post has been helpful!

Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to share in the love and mercy you have for your people.

What's wrong with snark?

I'm sure most of the readers of my blog have come across articles on the internet that rely heavily on the use of snark. This includes a number of popular Catholic blogs. Snark is a combination of the words snide and remark and has become a common vehicle used to get a writer's point across to his or her readers. It's sarcastic and at times humorous.

Or it's supposed to be humorous. Very often snark fails on Catholic blogs because it steps out of the terrain of mild sarcasm and treads into the territory of mockery. Mockery has no place on a christian blog. Catholic writers who are liberal in their use of snark may claim that they are using it for good purpose but their comboxes tell the real story:  it's offensive to a large portion of the Catholic population. It repels others away from the Faith instead of drawing them in.

Mockery treats others with derision; it's contemptuous, not humorous.

In the Catholic blogosphere I've seen this derision, thinly veiled as snark, take down entire subgroups of the Catholic population. In many cases the writer has a valid point but the point gets lost in the midst of the "trash talk". It's like trying to find a gem in a garbage heap. The gem may be there but it's so covered with muck that it has become unrecognizable to the readers.

I'm all for writers who are blunt but honest. Peter Kreeft is a good example of a writer who cuts to the chase and tells it like it is. But this is not snark. As shocking as his words may sometimes be you can see the truth in them. They are acceptable because of the charity behind them. Snark has a peculiar kind of dishonesty behind it that says "I care more about how many readers I get than whether the readers see the truth of my words." You can smell its pharisaic qualities a mile off.

So what is so wrong with too much snark?

It promotes an "us against them mentality"
It promotes group evil  (For an example of group evil we need only look at the crowd mocking Jesus on the   cross. People get caught up in it.)

And most of all...

...it harms those who are already wounded, the very ones we want to help.

The Dark Corners of Our Hearts

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Indeed, the word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart. No creature is concealed from him, but everything is naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must render an account."   Heb. 4:12,13

Purification. A word that sets me trembling if I'm being honest. I like it... but hate it. I'm glad God cares enough about us to do this for us... though I have to admit that it is painful at times. Especially when He is dredging up muck from the past, the "stuff" that you are unaware is deeply hindering you and keeping you from progressing spiritually.

It goes something like this:

God will pour light on certain unconscious behavior patterns, you begin to realize WHY you have been acting in certain ways for most of your life and you wonder "why wasn't this obvious to me" before now.

Everything becomes clear as a bell. It was hidden from you until now.

And it's a long, slow process. Most of the time, at least.

Years ago, when God first began to do this work in me, I was very resistant to it because I didn't understand what was going on. Was I really relating to others through the lens of the past? Through the scars of my upbringing?

Yes, I was. Still am no doubt. Everyone does this to some degree or another. There are no perfect families and everyone has wounds that they hide and behaviors they use to cover them or to protect themselves.  We just aren't aware of them.

Until the Holy Spirit makes us aware of them.

Even though some of these behaviors began as coping devices and may have been crucial to our survival growing up, not only are they no longer needed but they are detrimental to our spiritual health. If we refuse to let them go, our spiritual growth seems to come to a grinding halt. I've been "stuck" more than once due to my refusal to see. It's hard at times because these are unconscious habits so when they are brought to your attention by the Holy Spirit your first response is often: "Say what?? What do you mean I'm defensive? I'm not defensive!" (Lol. This is just an example...uhm...I think.)

Many of these less than lovely traits have to do with the way we relate to others and they need to be healed so we can love well.

Whenever I am going through a time of purification and I sense a lot of resistance on my part I turn to Mother Mary in prayer. I've found that Our Lady is a great, great help during these times. She sweetens even the most painful processes.

Her "ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace".

One Plus God

We look around the world today and think how crazy the world seems. It can be overwhelming to  realize what we are up against these days:

 "What's the point? What difference can just one person make anyway?"

Have you ever heard these words spoken to you? Or spoken them yourself perhaps?

I have heard them too many times to count over the years and I've even heard them come out of my own mouth now and then.

The problem with this type of mindset is that it sets us up to lose before we've even begun. Imagine if the saints thought like this? All we need to do is look at what Mother Teresa did during the span of her lifetime and we can see that she did not allow herself to fall prey to this kind of thinking. One person can make a huge difference if God is in the equation. Think of what each of these people accomplished during their lifetimes:

Moses + God = the liberation of an enslaved people

Mother Mary + God = the salvation of the entire human race

 Peter + God = the birth of the Church

We cannot say, "Yeah, but they were saints!" Moses was not a saint - he killed a man. St. Peter 

was simply a fisherman - a fisherman who denied Christ three times.

I love this example:  Therese + God = Doctor of the Church...with millions following her "little way" and she accomplished all this without ever leaving the convent or its grounds. (How's that for amazing?)

So never ask yourself what you can do.

Ask yourself what you + God can do.

Those Fiery Darts

In my last post I spoke about the "meeking" process that we all undergo at some point or another. It's important to note that these fiery darts are aimed at the ego, not the true self. In my posts The Finger of God  and A Firm Foundation for Healing  I wrote about the need for healing of your innermost being, the shucking of negative labels off your back, because these false labels interfere with your mission in life. We need to be able to differentiate between the blows of satan aimed at destroying our true self and the fiery darts allowed by God that are helpful to us in recognizing certain patterns of sin in our lives.

Sometimes, when we are resistant to seeing these sin patterns and the flaws within ourselves God will speak through others. This is so that we'll become aware of the area that God would like us to focus on - an area that He is usually working on also. For example: if a number of friends or family members suggest that your thinking process may be a stumbling block in your life...then it's a very good possibility that this may very well be the case. Or if you have a tendency to overreact and everyone around you seems to point this out quite often then, hey, it's likely they just might be onto something.

Over the years, I've noticed that a big issue of mine seems to be with my thought life. After working on it for many years I thought I was doing a very good job in this area but I was overlooking the more subtle poisonous thoughts that can creep into our minds and go unnoticed by us if we don't stay alert. I bought into the lie that we can't control our thoughts. We may not be able to choose exactly what thoughts go (because we also have to deal with the spiritual realm in this area) into our minds but we can certainly have a choice in deciding what we want to dwell on. We can also be aware of just what we are feeding our minds. The more trash you put in there... the more trash is likely to come out. If you feed it poison, that poison is going to seep out somewhere, some way.

An issue I struggle with is passivity. God has called me on this a number of times, as have others. Some folks are under-reactors not over-reactors. Both these extremes can be problematic but, whereas overreacting is obvious, the effects of underreacting are much more insidious. The problem with passivity is that it can look so good on the surface but it can keep you from taking direct action to solve a problem. To my own mind I considered it "surrendering things to God". Sad, yes. Truth was, I often felt overwhelmed and refused to take the steps necessary to fix a problem. It's something I still battle with. And it bears no resemblance to true surrender. God is an active God.

And I probably never would have noticed if God didn't use many (many, many...lol) others to point this out over the years. So, though I was not grateful for the correction at first, in the long run it has been very helpful. At least now, I am aware of it and can take measures when I notice it coming into play. I think I've written about this before here (and, my apologies, you'll no doubt see more about this subject because I often see this trait at work in our world and its fruit can be devastating...both to individuals and nations).

Human nature has a tendency to resist correction, especially if it's worded badly. It's much better when it comes from a trusted friend or family member but this isn't always the case. At times it comes from the least expected place, like out of the mouth of your friend's child or maybe a co-worker. The point is: when we hear the same thing over and over it may be a good idea to pay attention to what others are saying.

Without question, there are also times when we should not listen to what others are saying. When an accusation is leveled at the very being of a person we should toss it right out. We need to be able to discern the difference between the two. Telling someone that they are stupid or unlovable attacks the being of the person not the actions of the person.

One tears down a person while the other is aimed at a behavior - this makes it easier to discern between the two.

(You can see the  "meeking" process at work in the combox of blogs at times. Every time I see this at work I can't figure out why the other person isn't "getting" it, especially when it's obvious... and then I remember how long it takes me to "get" it, even when it's obvious to others, and I understand :-)

Tools for Healing

God wants to heal us. If there is one thing I've learned over the years it is that God desires to heal us more than we desire it ourselves. Christ came to heal the wounds of sin and this healing begins in time. That may seem pretty obvious to many but you'd be surprised at what I hear at times. One of the oddest is that we aren't healed until we reach Heaven. Yes, I've heard this statement a few times too often. Until that time we are left to our own devices. When I think about it I realize that this type of thinking makes God seem...well...

...stingy.

 As if He withholds healing and grace at whim depending on his mood that day.

Yikes!

That sounds more like us, if you ask me.

Many times we are blocking the healing in some way. We may not like to hear that we still have a lot of inner work that needs to be done.

Pride may be a factor.

We are impatient and want God to heal us instantly but very often we need to learn things about ourselves first. What if He gave you an enormous healing but because you have certain patterns of behavior or thinking that aren't healthy you end up right back where you started? Wouldn't that be worst? God wants to heal us...but He wants it to stick.

God's not going to heal an area that you refuse to let Him touch so the first thing to do is to invite Him into the area you are asking Him to heal. A simple prayer like this is fine:

Jesus, I am in deep need of emotional healing and I ask you to begin to bring healing to this area of my life. Today, I place my emotions under your gentle mastery and I  place my trust in your healing love.

Here are some things to consider:

~ Naming your emotions - This is very important for those who have suppressed their emotions for years.
    The first step in naming your emotions isn't so much getting this right as it is becoming aware that you have emotions...and very strong ones at that.
~ Feeling these emotions and bringing them  to God in prayer. If I cannot do this during the course of the day then I do it at bedtime when I go over my day with the Lord.
~Pay attention to your emotional responses to others. Years ago, the Lord made me aware that I sometimes used my emotions to manipulate others instead of speaking clearly and addressing the problem.
~ Many of us were taught that certain emotions were sinful and this is why we suppressed them. Though our brain may tell us it's ridiculous, we automatically feel guilt when we become angry. If you look back into your earlier years you may find that this is a conditioned response. Anger in itself is not a sin - it's what you  do with the anger that becomes the problem (taking it out on others, sitting and stewing in it).
~ Exerting rigid control over your emotions is draining and they'll "leak" out in various ways if you don't address them as they come.
~Using religion to cover up the inner work that needs to be done (doing more and more outwardly to mask inner conflict/ attempting to change others before changing yourself - excessive religiosity). An example would be a person who focuses too much on the outward signs of religion while neglecting the inner because their pride won't accept the need for personal change.)
~ Be aware of the connection between suppressed emotions and the Seven Deadly Sins (For example
    "stuffing" your emotions with food. Addictions are common among suppressors because they deal with emotions in an unhealthy fashion. If gluttony (over-eating, alcoholism, substance abuse, over-exercising, etc..) seems to be a particular problem for you this may be a sign that you need to work on your emotions. Sloth, too, has a connection with the emotions. They all do.You may have a better chance of overcoming these if you address the area of your emotions first.

Here's a quick list of tools and tips that may be helpful:

~Generational healing/ healing of the family tree
 
    - Intergenerational Healing by Fr. Robert DeGrandis
    -Healing Your Family Tree by Fr. John Hampsch
    - Life Missions, Family Healing by Michael H. Brown
    -Claretian Teaching Ministry (website)
    -Camelot Warfare Library  (website)

~Inner Healing
     - Praying the Rosary for Inner Healing by Fr. Dwight Longenecker
     - Healing Through the Mass by Fr. Robert DeGrandis
     - Catholic Therapists.Com - There are some good articles here
   

~Naming your emotions - don't worry if you are wrong at first, the point is to notice that you actually have the entire package of feelings.

~Accepting your emotions - don't immediately push them away without attempting to discover what they are trying to tell you. While emotions are certainly not the first thing we should rely on, they can still give us a great deal of information about ourselves. Give them their place but make sure you don't give them first place. As I wrote in a previous post, you cannot master your emotions if you are unable/unwilling to express them -they will always master you. Whether subtly or overtly, if ignored, they will exert  an influence on you.

 ~Paying attention/going over your day with the Lord.

~Reading the Psalms. David was a very passionate man and the Psalms express many different emotions. He never hid them from God, but rather, expressed them freely in prayer. This is a good model for us to use.



The glory of God is a human being fully alive.
                                       St. Irenaeus

Emotional Healing

I'm going to be very honest and admit upfront that dealing with my emotions has been one of the more difficult aspects of my spiritual life. As a matter of fact, maybe the most difficult thus far. Those who were raised in dysfunctional households as children may be able to relate to this post more so than those whose emotions are well integrated into their "personhood".

I spent years living as an emotional "train wreck". Of course, I wasn't aware I was an emotional "train wreck", I barely acknowledged my emotions at all. This left me feeling very fake - almost as if I was a robot in some ways. I don't know how many times in my life I've plastered fake smiles on my face for others so that all would look well on the surface. This is what I was trained to do, to keep up appearances at all costs. This is not my parents' fault - they were taught to do the same. Plus, society also sends us the message that only certain emotions are "acceptable" and the less acceptable ones should be shut down before they cause trouble for ourselves or others.

Do you suffer from a lack of peace? Do you sometimes feel as if the joy that's supposed to anchor a Christian's life passed you by? As in:

 God, I think you might just have forgotten to put the joy gene in me.

I believed this for a good portion of my life.

It's a lie.

If we suppress our emotions our entire lives the joy that lies beneath them gets buried under the avalanche of this emotional junk.

And I had a heavy-duty avalanche on top of me that left me feeling crushed and excessively burdened.
I had trouble believing Jesus' words,  "For my yoke is easy and my burden light."

Every time I'd read this I'd think, "Oh no, your yoke weighs a ton, Lord."

Then I realized that it wasn't the Lord's yoke I was carrying (which I'll speak of further in another post).

A large portion of my "double" yoke (lol) was from the weight of years of emotional turmoil that had not been dealt with. It was so darn heavy that I felt like I was trudging through water most of the time!

 And it still does sometimes... but it's getting better. It's funny, but I thought my load would get heavier as I grew in Christ but the opposite seems to be happening. Though I deal with similar circumstances, its impact is lessening.

So how do we know if we are under an excessive emotional burden? (You all know how I love lists so here comes another one...lol.) While this may not be true for everyone here are certain "signs" that may point to it (you may have a number of these symptoms or just a few):

~ You sometimes feel like you are wearing a mask. You feel a bit "unreal" or "fake".
~ There's a lack of steady peace and joy in your life
~ You feel numb ( Your body may even go numb, as in panic attacks, because your body is giving you
  clues as to your emotional state.)
~ You are confused or spacey
~ You lack energy (because suppressing emotion uses up A LOT of energy, so does pretending)
~ You get sick often ( The body expresses what you cannot. There has to be an outlet. We are body,
    soul, spirit and one reflects on the other. When they are in conflict with each other there are always
    symptoms of some sort whether it be illness or other bodily manifestations of the turmoil within
    you.)
 ~ You were taught that certain emotions were unacceptable.
~ You have a lot of "triggers". Someone will accidentally touch one of these hot spots and you over-
    react.
~ You have difficulty naming your emotions for what they are. Grief, sadness, anger, etc.. - you aren't
    quite sure which one you are experiencing. (For me, I've often found that when I dig beneath my
     anger I find grief. This surprised me at first.)
~ A troubled thought life. (Things bubble up as the avalanche of "stuff" dislodges. This is not a bad
   thing if handled in the right way. Once you get over the shock of what comes up, that is. Some of
   the stuff is unpleasant so our first reaction is to deny it access but this just further exasperates the
   problem.)
~ You have difficulty making choices (Those leftover emotions are exerting their influence even when
   you are unaware of that influence so you become confused at which choice is best.)

I am in no way suggesting that we should give in to our emotions and let them fly all over the place. What I am suggesting is this:

Your cannot master your emotions if you are unable/unwilling to express them -they will always master you. Whether subtly or overtly, if ignored, they will exert  an influence on you. In other words:

You will be a slave to them. A prison is a prison regardless of whether the prisoner is behind the walls of a pretty mansion or an iron fortress.

 There is no such thing as a part-time slave.





 

An Unholy Mirror

When I write about healing in my posts I am usually talking about spiritual healing. Physical healing is wonderful but many times it's simply the byproduct of a much deeper inner healing. Sometimes we block God's healing - in my own life one of the greatest stumbling blocks to healing was and is myself. As this stumbling block is moved out of the way the spiritual healing my soul needs has sped up.

One of the more common stumbling blocks to healing is self-hatred. The wrong kind of self-hatred. We aren't talking about the self-hatred the saints speak about here that's aimed at the false self. We're talking about a very real hatred/dislike of oneself. And it comes about through looking at yourself in an unholy mirror.

What is this unholy mirror?

It's all the false things you've told yourself and others have told you since you were very small that warp the way you see yourself and the way you see others. Add to that the wounds others have inflicted upon you and the wounds you inflicted upon yourself by your own sins and you begin to see how a distortion in the way you see yourself can become a big obstacle. For those who were raised in dysfunctional households - think of all the negative pictures others have painted of you with their words and/or actions (this also includes those things NOT done or said that should have been), especially when you were young and impressionable, and you can see how this might be a big problem. Children have no reason to believe an adult wouldn't be telling them the truth so they begin to believe that something is innately wrong with them.

God wants to shatter this mirror. Or at least break it away piece by piece. He wants you to see yourself  through HIS eyes. He wants you to see your potential in Him. He wants us to know we are loved and cherished by Him.

In my case, the Lord chipped away at this false mirror gradually. No doubt had He removed it all at once I wouldn't have been able to accept it. Plus, its gradual removal has taught (and is teaching) me a lot.

This hatred of oneself  may not be obvious to those who suffer from it because to them it's normal - they've lived with it all their lives and have never seen themselves in any other way. In other cases it's very obvious because it manifests all the time in their thought life. It's extremely prevalent in those who come from dysfunctional homes - children of alcoholics or drug addicts, those who are abused verbally/physically/sexually, those who are raised in homes where one or both parents are mentally ill, children of divorce, etc..

That covers a lot of homes.

I should have known I had a problem with this because it was quite obvious even as a child. I often felt defeated before I even began something. The world seemed overwhelming to me. If someone said something nice about me I would automatically correct their "mistake". I knew something was terribly wrong but I just didn't know what that terrible something was.

 When I was in my twenties I read a lot of self-help books and tried to speak more positively about myself but it didn't really sink in - the only thing I was positive about was that I had a big problem. Saying positive things about yourself doesn't correct the underlying issues. It doesn't heal the wounds. Plus, I always felt like I was lying. Saying something is true doesn't necessarily make it so.

 We need to throw away the false pictures of ourselves (the way we see ourselves/the way others see us) and ask God how HE sees us.

His is the true picture. And His is the one that really matters.

Prayer: courtesy of Mary's Rosary Chain

Satan's Terrible Blows

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about how God heals us.

A few weeks ago, I was driving home from the grocery store and decided to listen to some Christmas music. I turned on the stereo and heard a woman ask:

 "Who were you before Satan rained down his blows upon you?"

To my complete and utter shock, tears immediately welled up in my eyes. My husband had reset my car stereo recently and had added a Christian station that he thought I'd enjoy listening to but I had forgotten about it. Until that question boomed through my speakers.

Who knew that one sentence could evoke such a powerful emotional response from me? I couldn't
get those words out of my head. Who WAS I before Satan rained down his blows upon me?

 I didn't even know the answer. Raised in a dysfunctional household and an even more dysfunctional world the blows came hard and heavy at a very young age. By the time I reached my teen years I barely recognized myself.

And things only spiraled downwards from there.

Oh, I can easily answer this question from my head. I can reel off a  "pat" answer about  how I am a child of God, created in His likeness and image. I can rattle off to you just what God has done for me and how much He loves me. My mind knew who I was.

But my heart doesn't always know.

"Who were you before Satan rained down his blows upon you?"

I think that one of the reasons this question troubled (and continues to trouble) me so much is because I often ask God who He created me to be. The answer "yourself" is not one that makes a whole lot of sense to me. Sometimes it feels as if I've spent half my life just trying to understand exactly who I am. Or to put it more precisely: who I am in Him.

 And who God is, for that matter.

Here is something that I do know about myself:

God sees me far differently than I see myself. I am already healed in eternity. How do I know this? Because I've seen it a number of times. A perfect picture of me - healthy, whole, and smiling at God. Full of peace and joy. I can see it shining through my eyes in this future vision. I see this picture often, especially when I go before The Blessed Sacrament during Adoration. As much as I like seeing myself in this way...I can't really relate.

At least, not here in time. Oh no, here in time I am not at all like the picture of me in eternity. I am a caricature of my true self. As a matter of fact, it boggles my mind when I see the other picture.

The reason I am writing about this is because I believe that most of us are in great need of spiritual healing and I think, to start, it would be good to ask these questions:

"Who was I before Satan rained down his blows upon me?"

                                         and

"Heavenly Father? How do you see me in Christ?"




There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.
                                                                                       C.S. Lewis

The Power of the Church Triumphant

As a member of the Church Militant and part of the Mystical Body of Christ one of my greatest blessings is the access I have to the Church Triumphant. And I use it daily. The canonization process of the Catholic Church is very rigorous and the saints are living models of holiness for us. I stress living because they are not dead at all. On the contrary, they are more alive than we are and encompassed by the glory of God.

Everything and everyone can be a stepping stone to God and the saints are the most powerful intercessors of all. Knowing that, I turn to them for help in my daily life, especially in the area of faults, family life and spiritual progression. They love when we ask for their intercession and we can be assured that they are pleading our cause before the throne of God. 

I enjoy reading about saints and how often our prayers are answered through their intercession. Having a close relationship with the "great cloud of witnesses" who have gone before me is a very important aspect of my spiritual life and I pray the Litany of the Saints quite often. Plus, I have my "favorites" and  each has a charge over certain areas of my life; I am not one to refuse a gift that the Church has placed in my lap. 

Here is a quick breakdown of some of saints that "work" with me:

~ St. Faustina has charge of my blog, my own intercessory prayers for others, my understanding of         justice and mercy and other areas.
~ St Pio is my "spiritual father" and is in charge of my spiritual life and progress, along with my patron,
   St Teresa of Avila
~ St. Joseph is in charge of family unity and family matters
~ St. Bernadette is in charge of my growth in humility
~ St Benedict and St. Gemma help with spiritual battles (though I often call on the whole lot of them for this task)
~ Blessed Kateri and St. Tarcisius are in charge of certain areas of my childhood that pop up from time to time. They were my favorite saints as a child.
~ St. Peter and the other apostles have charge over keeping my feet firmly in the Faith.
~ St. Paul has charge over my spiritual gifts and my weaknesses (the thorns in my side)
~ St Dymphna over my propensity toward anxiety
~ St. Therese is in charge of saving a spot on God's lap for me (grin)

The list could go on forever but I'll stop here...lol. I thought I'd post this because I often wonder why people settle for vague "spiritual guides" when God has placed so many holy men and women as models and helpers for those of us still on earth. It's truly a great gift and blessing from the Lord!

And Our Lady?

She is my mother and I am her daughter. This spiritual motherhood is by God's design. Every single word that Jesus spoke on the Cross has infinite meaning because God is eternal.

"Behold thy mother."
                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm very interested in hearing about the saints and their place in the lives of others. I pray with the saints and also use the Saint Calender to ask assistance on a daily basis. I would like to hear how other people incorporate The Church Triumphant into their spiritual lives. Anyone want to share their stories? You can leave a comment on my blog or a link to your post about this subject if you are interested in this too. Thanks!

Let Go

Every once in a while I'll come across an amazing book that grips my heart from the moment I open it. One of these "treasures" is a short book called LET GO ,by Fenelon, an archbishop from the seventeenth century. I couldn't put this book down. It's right up there with Practice of the Presence of God  (Br Lawrence of the Resurrection). I'd like to recommend this book to those who are struggling and having trouble "letting go and letting God".  The book is so good that I keep going back to it again and again. Here are some "gems" from the book:

"Whatever spiritual knowledge or feelings we may have, they are all a delusion if they do not lead us to the real and constant practice of dying to self. And it is true we do not die without suffering. Nor is it possible to be considered truly dead while there is any part of us which is yet alive. This spiritual death is undeniably painful. It cuts 'swift and deep into our innermost thoughts and desires with all their parts, exposing us for what we really are.' The great Physician who sees in us what we cannot see, knows exactly where to place the knife. He cuts away that which we are most reluctant to give up."


"You have been asking for comfort and peace. But you do not understand that you have been lead to the brink of the fountain and are refusing to drink."


"Though it sounds strange to say it I am rejoicing that God has reduced you to a state of weakness. Your ego can neither be convinced nor forced into submission by any other means; it is always finding secret lines of supply from your own courage; it is discovering impenetrable retreats in your own cleverness."


"I beg you not to listen to self. Self-love whispers in one ear and God in the other."


"You can always tell when self is speaking. Self always wants to entertain itself and never feels sufficiently well attended to."


I came across this book by accident but I'm glad it fell into my hands. I have a hard copy of the book but  
read the samples from my Kindle too since there are a few translations of it. I recommend the version put out by Whitaker House to begin with because it's clear, concise, and easy to read.

If the Shoe Fits...

I loved the readings for Mass, Wednesday the 4th.  "How fitting!" I couldn't help but think. "Both the readings from the Old Testament and the New!"

And then I wondered, "Are people REALLY hearing them and letting them sink deeply into their hearts or do they imagine that they do not apply to each of us who live in this day and age?"

I decided to post these readings.


Seek good and not evil,
that you may live;
Then truly will the LORD, the God of hosts,
be with you as you claim!
Hate evil and love good,
and let justice prevail at the gate;
Then it may be that the LORD, the God of hosts,
will have pity on the remnant of Joseph.

I hate, I spurn your feasts, says the LORD,
I take no pleasure in your solemnities;
Your cereal offerings I will not accept,
nor consider your stall-fed peace offerings.
Away with your noisy songs!
I will not listen to the melodies of your harps.
But if you would offer me burnt offerings,
then let justice surge like water,
and goodness like an unfailing stream.
Responsorial Psalm Ps 50:7, 8-9, 10-11, 12-13, 16bc-17

R. (23b) To the upright I will show the saving power of God.
"Hear, my people, and I will speak;
Israel, I will testify against you;
God, your God, am I."
R. To the upright I will show the saving power of God.
"Not for your sacrifices do I rebuke you,
for your burnt offerings are before me always.
I take from your house no bullock,
no goats out of your fold."
R. To the upright I will show the saving power of God.
"For mine are all the animals of the forests,
beasts by the thousand on my mountains.
I know all the birds of the air,
and whatever stirs in the plains, belongs to me."
R. To the upright I will show the saving power of God.
"If I were hungry, I should not tell you,
for mine are the world and its fullness.
Do I eat the flesh of strong bulls,
or is the blood of goats my drink?"
R. To the upright I will show the saving power of God.
"Why do you recite my statutes,
and profess my covenant with your mouth,
Though you hate discipline
and cast my words behind you?"
R. To the upright I will show the saving power of God.

Gospel Mt 8:28-34

When Jesus came to the territory of the Gadarenes,
two demoniacs who were coming from the tombs met him.
They were so savage that no one could travel by that road.
They cried out, "What have you to do with us, Son of God?
Have you come here to torment us before the appointed time?"
Some distance away a herd of many swine was feeding.
The demons pleaded with him,
"If you drive us out, send us into the herd of swine."
And he said to them, "Go then!"
They came out and entered the swine,
and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea
where they drowned.
The swineherds ran away,
and when they came to the town they reported everything,
including what had happened to the demoniacs.
Thereupon the whole town came out to meet Jesus,
and when they saw him they begged him to leave their district.
                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


America reminds me of this town in the Gospel reading that begged the Lord to "leave their district".  We have systematically removed God from almost every area of our lives here in the U.S.

But then again, we didn't beg Him to leave...

We booted Him out.

Intercessory Prayer Gifts - Standing in the Gap

We are all called to intercede for our brothers and sisters in this world, however, for some, the Lord has given the gift of intercessory prayer in a special way. Not because the person is "special" (we are all equally loved by God) but simply because it is a particular "mission" that God wants them to focus on and to do for Him. Each person is unique and has certain gifts that stand out more than other gifts and it's good to be able to discern what particular gifts the Lord has given to us so that we can better understand how to use them to help others.

In these times the Lord is calling for intercessory prayer in a powerful way. Differentiating between our duty as Christians to intercede for others and the charism of intercession can help one understand whether they are called in a special way in this area...and many are. I believe this is one of the more common gifts. The question is:

How do we know we are called to this type of prayer in a special way?

Also, are there signs that the Lord is calling us into deeper intercessory prayer? How are we to respond?

First, I'd like to clearly state that we each have spiritual gifts and we all share in the gifts of others. They are used to build the Mystical Body of Christ, of which we are each a part. Some have healing gifts (Father DiOrio comes to mind here), others have supernatural gifts of wisdom (such as Blessed Mother Teresa), words of knowledge, prophecy, teaching gifts, discernment of spirits - the list goes on and on.  These gifts are extremely useful today because of the spiritual burden we are under due to the increase of sin in the world.  One that the Lord seems to be giving in abundance is the gift of intercessory prayer.

I'll start with the first question. How do we know we are called to intercessory prayer in a deeper way?

Those who have the gift of intercessory prayer tend to have deeply compassionate hearts. It may seem to others that they are overly sensitive but this is a necessary aspect of the gift. Without this sensitivity of the spirit to both God and others the gift cannot develop to the degree God would like it to. Others may consider intercessors to be "overly emotional" and impractical people. They may have mood swings (I will explain this further in another post) and they may seem to "suffer" more than the average person.

Intercessors tend to have a strong "pull" to pray for others. It may even feel like a strong pressure upon the soul. Passages in the Bible such as Moses intercession for for the Israelites during the battle with Amelek stand out for them. "As long as Moses kept his hands raised up, Israel had the better of the fight, but when he let his hands rest, Amelek had the better of the fight." (See Ex. 17:8-13).  The passage where Abraham intercedes for intercedes for Sodom tugs at their hearts (See  Gn. 18: 16-33) as well as other passages in Scripture such as Jesus' weeping, His Agony in the Garden, His pleading with the Father on the Cross, " Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."  Passages such as these burn like a fire in their hearts. They are being called to "stand in the gap" for others.

As for the second question, are there signs that the Lord is calling us to this in a deeper way? Yes, I believe there are. This was recently confirmed to me through a book I was reading. Here are some of the signs:

~ Your heart feels heavily burdened despite the fact that things in your life are running smoothly and there seems to be no valid reason for the burden such as mortal sin.  It makes no sense...you confess your sins, love God, pray, and yet your heart is heavy. That is a very common sign of a "prayer burden".

~ You seem to suffer more than the average person and yet there seems to be no logical cause.

~ You have pain in the pit of your stomach that comes and leaves after heavy-duty prayer

~ You get bodily symptoms that make no sense. They come and go (here we are stepping into "words of knowledge" and this can be useful in discerning what you are called to pray for.

~  Names and faces come to your mind over and over again.

~ You have unusual dreams about people or dreams in which you are battling forces of evil.

~ You feel a burning sensation in your body and an inexplicable yearning to pray comes over you.

~ A sense of emergency (like a spiritual 911 call) comes over you. It doesn't let up except through prayer, and you long for "alone time" with God to pray.

~ Offering up Masses and going to Adoration relieves the "spiritual burden" as these are powerful sources of obtaining grace for others.

~ At times it feels as if "the veil of heaven" has parted and you are standing before The Mercy Seat.

~ Tears for no obvious reason.

No doubt there are other signs but the ones I listed above are very common. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me write this post and I hope it is helpful to others. If these things happen to you then you can be assured that God is calling you strongly as an intercessor. The answer is to pray, pray, pray. I'm working on another post on this subject about prayer warriors and how to use this gift.

I pray this post is helpful to others. Thank you, Lord, for these words. May they bless others as they have blessed me (long story).


(This post has been updated - Intercessory Prayer link.)

First Things First - A Book Review

Colleen Spiro is a blogger, an author, and a spiritual director. Her newest book is an e-book, First Things First, A Personal Retreat Journal and is available for download (pdf ) and also available on Kindle.

First Things First is a journal that takes you on a spiritual journey as seen through the eyes and heart of the author. It is written with simplicity and the straightforward manner which is the mark of this particular author's writing style. Many of you know Colleen through her blog and Catholic website or from reading her memoir, The Third Floor Window (a personal favorite of mine) and have been blessed by her insights and her ability to pierce through the morass of our messy lives and reach to the heart of things. She has done this once again with First Things First. This book can be used as a retreat guide or for spiritual reading and reflection.

Whenever we read spiritual books under the guidance of the Holy Spirit there are things that have a tendency to "stand out" for each reader. These things that stand out are often areas the Lord is calling our attention to so I am going to write about what jumped out at me.

The first thing that struck a chord in me were Colleen's words about patience and balance.  "The message I have been getting today is to be more patient with myself. I expect too much of myself. I expect perfection..."

Got me there. I have a tendency toward perfectionism, especially in the spiritual life (which is a mark of pride). Unfortunately, my idea of perfect and God's are miles apart.

 "My life is out of balance."

Mine too. Until we understand that we need to let go of our rigid hold on life (our idea of perfect) our lives will never be balanced. Like Colleen, I have a tendency to multi-task. Multi-tasking robs me of my peace and makes me feel as if I am rushing through life and using my time unwisely. A wise use of time is to focus  on the task at hand and live in the present moment. Colleen touches upon this widespread problem in her book. We live in a world that focuses on rushing and productivity and many of us need to slow down so we can hear the Lord instead of our inner tumult.

And then came these words: "I am worried about the birds. They look exhausted trying to beat their wings with the wind and the rain pelting down on them. There are enough trees around here for them to rest in. Why don't they?"

I read these words over and over. At first I couldn't understand why they struck me like a ton of bricks. And then I realized...I felt like one of those birds. Pelted by the storm and beaten by the wind. When she mentioned trees, a mental picture of the Tree of the Cross formed in my mind and I knew Jesus was telling me to bring my disordered life to the foot of the cross and take refuge in His opened side.

Colleen's book is all about putting things in their proper order. I'll leave you with this quote:

 "First things first. Put God first in my life and let everything flow from there."


As an interesting side note: I have been wanting to do this book review ever since I first read the book but I kept getting a check in the spirit (a "not yet") and couldn't figure out why. Today I felt the nudge to write it and after finishing the review I realized that this e-book would be a good book for those who are trying to discern if their aridity in prayer is due to measures beyond their control or due to an imbalance in their spiritual lives. The Lord lined it up after my post on aridity. The second thing I noticed is the theme of the book lined up with today's Gospel reading. Interesting.


 

The First Cut is the Deepest

In my last post I spoke about spiritual pride and how easily I got caught in this trap during my early walk with the Lord. I wasn't kidding about being devastated when He revealed to me that I was about as far from a saint as one could be. When the Lord first starts performing surgery in this area, the first cut is the deepest. By deepest, I mean most painful. Why? Because it's performed without anesthesia. Or with very little anesthesia.

Humility is God's anesthesia and when one has very little of this virtue, the divine surgery hurts tremendously. I was depressed and it bordered on despair. Here I was thinking I was giving my all to the Lord and He was dissatisfied (or maybe He wasn't but it sure felt this way).

I mean, what a waste! Here I was determined to pray an Our Father or a Hail Mary for every single person on this earth (and well on my way to doing so) when the Lord stopped me dead in my tracks! My Pieta book with the series of prayers to be said daily for months on end, plucked from my hands! My Rosaries, my novenas? Poof! Gone in a flash!

"I prayed that whole darn book over and over for nothing, Lord?"  (Well, I never actually made it through the whole year of St. Bridget's prayers though I sure as heck tried more than once.)

"And what about the six billion Hail Mary's I was well on my way to doing?! Dust?"

This was the first time I was booted off my throne and I wasn't liking it one bit.

"I suppose the Perpetual (man, that thing took forever)  Novena for the poor souls is off too?"

Prayer had become a "fig leaf", not a conversation with God.

In truth, the Lord was doing me a great kindness by teaching me you can't buy your way into heaven. Not only that, He was showing me "my" Rosaries, "my" Novenas, "my" way bore little resemblance to His way. His way was grace and I had a lot to learn in this area. I had to learn to pray with the heart and that the power in prayer stems from the Person, God,  behind the prayer,  not from the prayer itself. Added to that, I never shut up. Silence is an integral part of prayer; it's rude to do all the talking.  Listening matters.

Prayer is good. Novenas are wonderful. But following the leading of the Holy Spirit is the best. I DO still pray the Rosary and Novenas...but not for the same reasons.

"So Lord, how about the three day warning before my death? Is that one still a go?"  Lol. (Those who have read the older Pieta books will know what I mean ;)

The Deadly Sin of Wrath

Photo source: Wikimedia Commons 

I prefer the term wrath rather than anger when speaking of this deadly sin. Wrath denotes a form of rage  while anger is an emotion that can, if it is just, bring about good. As in the case of acedia and sloth, wrath and anger can mean two separate things. When we think of the term wrath we imagine an  anger out of proportion to its cause. The deadly sins have been watered down a bit over the years and I believe we may have somewhat lost their true meaning as in the case of sloth/acedia. Acedia was the sin the early church wrote about but this was changed to sloth eventually. This also seems to be the case with wrath. Though the two are used interchangeably and I will use them this way in the post, I think wrath conveys the true definition of this deadly sin (Latin - ira) and we could consider anger a little offshoot of the much bigger sin of wrath. It's like comparing a forest fire with the flame from a match stick - one is far easier to put out than the other. Both can burn you if you  get careless though.

Wrath:
1. strong, stern, or fierce anger; deeply resentful indignation; ire.

2. vengeance or punishment as the consequence of anger.

Anger: a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

I liked the comparison of words denoting the various degrees of anger I found at http://www.thefreedictionary.com/anger because this expresses the point I'm trying to make when defining the two words and their offshoots.

Synonyms: anger, rage, fury, wrath, resentment, indignation

These nouns denote varying degrees of marked displeasure. Anger, the most general, is strong displeasure.Wrath applies especially to anger that seeks vengeance or punishment. Resentment refers to indignant smoldering anger generated by a sense of grievance while indignation is righteous anger at something wrongful, unjust, or evil.
 
                                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In terms of sin, it's clear that wrath is more than simply anger. Wrath is a distortion of anger. True anger seeks justice, wrath seeks vengeance. There's a big difference there. An anger that stems from a yearning for justice motivates, wrath annihilates. Anger properly channeled can build, wrath destroys. Anger can be merciful, wrath abhors mercy. Anger often stems from a love that seeks to change things, wrath from  hatred. Righteous anger has boundaries, wrath very few.  Righteous anger condemns the behavior, wrath condemns the person. In a nutshell, anger has its good points at times but wrath takes anger and becomes destructive instead of constructive.

Some of the signs and symptoms of wrath (unjust anger):
~ vengeful thoughts and behavior
~ irritability
~ fear
~ manipulative behavior
~ depression (can sometimes be a symptom of repressed anger)
~ mood swings
~ impatience
~ addictions (can be outlets for suppressed anger)
~ being overly sweet or too nice (weird but true sometimes)
~ compulsive behaviors
~ destructive behaviors such as road rage
~ insomnia
~ "bad" thoughts  that pop up often (the anger has to go somewhere)
~ chronic tardiness
~ passive aggressive traits
~ difficulty forgiving
~ neck and back problems ( anger makes people stiff and more vulnerable to injuries)
~ chronic illnesses and illness in general (stress compromises the immune system)
~ heart problems
~ strokes

Anger may not be the direct cause of all health issues but it certainly aggravates them. Humans are both body and soul and stress definitely affects our health.  Whether anger is sinful or not depends on the will. If the will consents to the anger then this is when sin comes into play.

What about repressed anger?

This is the area where I ran into trouble. Outwardly, I am very mild mannered and if someone had told me years ago that I had a problem with anger I probably would have laughed. "Me? But I rarely lose my temper!" And that would be true...I didn't get angry very often. (Barely ever, which in itself should have been a clue that things were awry. After all, anger is an emotion and it's not like God forgot to give me the full set.) So, you can imagine my surprise when the Lord decided to reveal that I most certainly DID have a problem with anger. God showed me that I had learned to completely shut down my anger as a child because I wasn't "allowed" to get angry. The thing is - people can't totally shut down their anger without harming themselves, can they?  Even to this day I struggle with calling anger what it is. (Probably the reason I study it so much too.) If we think of the words suppressed, repressed, oppressed,  and depressed  we see the word "pressed" in all of them. Anger is crushing, pressing, and heavy and that's exactly how I often felt inside. If we aim it at others we crush them and if we aim it at ourselves we crush ourselves. People can only handle a certain amount of pressure before it takes its toll and anger is not something we want to carry around with us every day.

Some would say that when we are angry it's better to "let others have it" rather than suppress it. To "let it fly" and to heck with the consequences. The trouble with this is that the consequences of being on the receiving end of this type of anger can be tragic because everyone suffers the brunt of it. Those who "let others have it" do indeed pile their anger on others while still keeping it themselves at the same time. Anger is one of those things that grows and spreads when you share it too generously.

Anger turned outward can bring about oppression, while anger turned inward can bring on depression. Neither of these is healthy, both harm people. Anger can also bring on physical illnesses. Stress really IS a killer.

The opposing virtues to anger/wrath are meekness and patience. The more someone practices patience, the stronger this virtue gets. We all have daily opportunities to develop this virtue - during traffic jams,  in long lines at stores, dealing with cranky customers, etc...

If I were to recommend Scripture passages for the battle against anger (including suppressed/repressed anger), the Psalms would win hands down. We find reflected in the Psalms every emotion under the sun and I believe praying the Psalms gives us a safe place to release our own emotions without harming ourselves or others.

Empathy is another weapon against anger. When we place ourselves in someone else's shoes and understand that they are wounded just like us it takes the sting out of anger. As with envy, it's important to pray for those who have offended us in some way.

 It's not uncommon for those raised in dysfunctional families to suppress their emotions. There may be a lot of hurt, pain, and fear hiding underneath suppressed/repressed anger so forgiveness will likely play a key role when the Lord helps you work through these issues. Trust the Holy Spirit to set the pace for your healing - it can be somewhat overwhelming if we try to push things too quickly. Healing will come over time if we allow the Holy Spirit to go about his work without trying to outrun Him (which leads to a loss of peace).

Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil.
                                                                                    Eph. 4:26-27