No sir, those are my feet...

Special delivery just for you, Mary!

You know, living in the (kinda-sorta) country has its good points, I'll give you that. Lots of space, no streetlight glaring through your windows during the night, stars galore, fresh air - the list of good things could go on and on. But...

...the water here smells really funny. As in *bad* funny.

Eggy in fact.

You turn on the tap to brush your teeth and are assaulted by egg water.

I don't get it.

I got over the nighttime howling wolf thingy - they weren't wolves at all, really. No, they were roaming packs of coyotes attacking their prey with a glee that would curl your toes.

The bears? Well, the bears don't eat meat. At least not yet.

And I can accept that the (kinda-sorta) country may have a few intrinsic odors of its own. I mean, let's face it, septic systems and horse farms come with their own special brand of "fresh country scent", don't they?

So it's all good.

But the water?

Noooooo...

 ...I cannot accept the water. I'm not even sure it IS water.

Rotten egg-scented well water?

Do you know what that means, folks?

That means you hard boil your clothes in the egg-scented water and then the dryer bakes the scent in. And if you throw in a few "fresh linen clean" scented dryer sheets? You get "fresh linen clean
egg-scented" shirts, pants, socks, sheets, towels, etc...

The problem with egg-scented socks is it results in egg-scented sneakers and egg-scented shoes. And you can't just toss your shoes each week. 'Cause that would be a sin my friend and I would be remiss if I didn't mention that fact on a Catholic blog now, wouldn't I? So you go about your days with a mild egg-scented air about you.

This is a problem. Why? Because not everyone understands that the odor is coming from your feet and when I am in crowded places and someone sniffs at the air I get paranoid. No sir, those are my feet...I swear it's my feet and not my breath. My Triple Blast Arctic Air Peppermint Fields Peel The Paint Off Your Walls Mouthwash carries a minty fresh scent guaranteed to kill 99.99% of all odor-causing bacteria in existence. 

When someone says, "You smell that? What is that?!" I cringe. Yes, I cringe. No sir, I didn't break that unspoken cardinal church rule which Catholics 9-months-old and up in pews around the world instinctively know (it's passed down in the genes methinks) that only coughing is allowed at Mass AND. NOTHING. ELSE. So I make a big production of checking out the bottom of my shoes so that the people behind me will know that I'm wondering where that foul odor is coming from too. 

It's the bane of my eggsistence.

 I know, I know, that was REALLY bad, Mary...the worst you've ever done.

Any advice out there from my fellow bloggers who live in the country who may or may not have a high manganese level in their well water? 'Cause I'm pretty sure manganese is the culprit because our feet always smelled just fine until we moved into the country and odor-eaters will only work for just so long. 

Plus, I'm not really sure if secretly rolling deodorant on your feet and in your shoes each day is a *good* thing. 

Chemicals, you know what I mean? Though, I have to let you in on a little secret: my socks are REALLY white. Just a little cleaning tip for my dingy-footed friends out there.