A Marian Psalter

                                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I greet you, rose garden of heaven,

  The chosen, the pure, the tender one

You noble, sweet rose blossom

           Entreat God for me through your goodness.

                                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                                                                   [A Marian Psalter]

Living Streams of Mercy

I started this blog 3 years ago during the month devoted to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I did this on purpose because His Heart draws me like a magnet. I named this blog "The Beautiful Gate" because I am a "crippled beggar" who sits continuously at the Beautiful Gate of His Sacred Heart. I was once given the precious gift of seeing the Living Rays which pour forth from the Heart of Jesus. I am not a fancy writer and cannot find words that do justice to the unfathomable mercy of His Heart but on the feast of the Sacred Heart I'd like to say this:

Whenever you go to Adoration you are bathing in the Living Rays of Love and Mercy which flow from the Heart of the  Resurrected Christ. I am utterly aware of this when I go before the Blessed Sacrament. Though I can't see these Living Rays anymore, my soul knows without a doubt that this is exactly what is happening. 

This is what happens to you, too. May Christ be my witness to this truth.

"The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls. These two rays issued forth from the depths of My tender mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross. Happy is the one who will dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him (299). By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without works." ( Diary of St. Faustina, 742)

"But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead,

they did not break his legs,

but one soldier thrust his lance into his side,

and immediately blood and water flowed out."     (Jn 19: 33,34)

Jesus, thank you for giving us Your Heart.

The Judgment of Gloria Polo

                                                      Fra Angelico's "Last Judgment"


After I posted the video of Fr. Stephen Scheier's judgment experience, a blogging friend (thank you, Philangelus) sent me a link to Gloria Polo's judgment before the Lord. The details in this particular NDE are phenomenal...I've never read anything quite like it. I don't believe anyone could make up a story like this and I am inclined to believe it's true.

Reverend Joseph Dwight has her full testimony on his blog. Scroll down the page a bit until you see:
The Testimony of Gloria Polo

Gloria Polo's story is truly remarkable and I've read a few different translations of it. You can find her interview with Radio Maria, which is a bit shorter, here.

I started with the interview with Radio Maria (found a few translations online) and now I am reading the longer testimony on Rev. Dwight's blog.

There are so many things that stood out for me that I don't know where to start. I will say this - it shows the power of prayer and the importance of placing God first in our lives.

Please take the time to read it. I truly think stories like these have the ability to change lives and are even helpful to those deep into their walk with Jesus. Every word that comes out of our mouth matters. The Lord took Gloria Polo through the Ten Commandments and showed her how she broke each one. It's a remarkable story.

Intercessory Prayer Gifts - Standing in the Gap

We are all called to intercede for our brothers and sisters in this world, however, for some, the Lord has given the gift of intercessory prayer in a special way. Not because the person is "special" (we are all equally loved by God) but simply because it is a particular "mission" that God wants them to focus on and to do for Him. Each person is unique and has certain gifts that stand out more than other gifts and it's good to be able to discern what particular gifts the Lord has given to us so that we can better understand how to use them to help others.

In these times the Lord is calling for intercessory prayer in a powerful way. Differentiating between our duty as Christians to intercede for others and the charism of intercession can help one understand whether they are called in a special way in this area...and many are. I believe this is one of the more common gifts. The question is:

How do we know we are called to this type of prayer in a special way?

Also, are there signs that the Lord is calling us into deeper intercessory prayer? How are we to respond?

First, I'd like to clearly state that we each have spiritual gifts and we all share in the gifts of others. They are used to build the Mystical Body of Christ, of which we are each a part. Some have healing gifts (Father DiOrio comes to mind here), others have supernatural gifts of wisdom (such as Blessed Mother Teresa), words of knowledge, prophecy, teaching gifts, discernment of spirits - the list goes on and on.  These gifts are extremely useful today because of the spiritual burden we are under due to the increase of sin in the world.  One that the Lord seems to be giving in abundance is the gift of intercessory prayer.

I'll start with the first question. How do we know we are called to intercessory prayer in a deeper way?

Those who have the gift of intercessory prayer tend to have deeply compassionate hearts. It may seem to others that they are overly sensitive but this is a necessary aspect of the gift. Without this sensitivity of the spirit to both God and others the gift cannot develop to the degree God would like it to. Others may consider intercessors to be "overly emotional" and impractical people. They may have mood swings (I will explain this further in another post) and they may seem to "suffer" more than the average person.

Intercessors tend to have a strong "pull" to pray for others. It may even feel like a strong pressure upon the soul. Passages in the Bible such as Moses intercession for for the Israelites during the battle with Amelek stand out for them. "As long as Moses kept his hands raised up, Israel had the better of the fight, but when he let his hands rest, Amelek had the better of the fight." (See Ex. 17:8-13).  The passage where Abraham intercedes for intercedes for Sodom tugs at their hearts (See  Gn. 18: 16-33) as well as other passages in Scripture such as Jesus' weeping, His Agony in the Garden, His pleading with the Father on the Cross, " Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."  Passages such as these burn like a fire in their hearts. They are being called to "stand in the gap" for others.

As for the second question, are there signs that the Lord is calling us to this in a deeper way? Yes, I believe there are. This was recently confirmed to me through a book I was reading. Here are some of the signs:

~ Your heart feels heavily burdened despite the fact that things in your life are running smoothly and there seems to be no valid reason for the burden such as mortal sin.  It makes no sense...you confess your sins, love God, pray, and yet your heart is heavy. That is a very common sign of a "prayer burden".

~ You seem to suffer more than the average person and yet there seems to be no logical cause.

~ You have pain in the pit of your stomach that comes and leaves after heavy-duty prayer

~ You get bodily symptoms that make no sense. They come and go (here we are stepping into "words of knowledge" and this can be useful in discerning what you are called to pray for.

~  Names and faces come to your mind over and over again.

~ You have unusual dreams about people or dreams in which you are battling forces of evil.

~ You feel a burning sensation in your body and an inexplicable yearning to pray comes over you.

~ A sense of emergency (like a spiritual 911 call) comes over you. It doesn't let up except through prayer, and you long for "alone time" with God to pray.

~ Offering up Masses and going to Adoration relieves the "spiritual burden" as these are powerful sources of obtaining grace for others.

~ At times it feels as if "the veil of heaven" has parted and you are standing before The Mercy Seat.

~ Tears for no obvious reason.

No doubt there are other signs but the ones I listed above are very common. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me write this post and I hope it is helpful to others. If these things happen to you then you can be assured that God is calling you strongly as an intercessor. The answer is to pray, pray, pray. I'm working on another post on this subject about prayer warriors and how to use this gift.

I pray this post is helpful to others. Thank you, Lord, for these words. May they bless others as they have blessed me (long story).


(This post has been updated - Intercessory Prayer link.)

A Love that Consumes

A post from my archives (June 2011) :

The Eucharist is truly the "Heart" of the Mass. When we receive Communion we are receiving the Heart of Jesus. A number of Eucharistic miracles have pointed to this fact over the years. Here is a link that speaks about one of these miracles - Modern Day Miracle of the Eucharist. As in Lanciano where the host was tested and found to contain heart tissue so, too,  in this more recent Eucharistic miracle the host that was studied was found to contain this same tissue.

We've all heard the phrase, "You are what you eat" but I'd like to point you toward another great article on the Eucharist called Christ's Unfathomable Love. This takes "You are what you eat" to a whole new level!

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of the Eucharist. That you share with us your own Divine Heart is indeed...unfathomable.



                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A post from my archives (Sept. 2009) :

I consume Jesus in the Eucharist and Jesus consumes me. His Divine Heart completely overwhelms this poor sinner's heart. No words could ever fully express the greatness of this Sacrament. We receive The Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ! A Grace and Gift so amazing that it leaves me speechless at times. Just writing about it can move me to tears. We are truly living temples. Sometimes after receiving Communion I think, "How can this be? How can the Eternal Word  give Himself to us with such love and tenderness?"

Cradle Him in your souls, for this is a Love so immense and so all-encompassing it is beyond expressing in earthly terms. Still, these ancient words are beautiful:

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
and stand with fear and trembling,
and meditate nothing earthly within itself.
For the King of kings and Lord of lords,
Christ our God, comes forward to be sacrificed,
and to be given for food to the faithful.
And the bands of angels go before Him
with every power and dominion,
the many-eyed cherubim, and the six-winged seraphim,
covering their faces, and crying aloud the hymn:
Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia


                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                                       "I gave my Heart to you."

First Things First - A Book Review

Colleen Spiro is a blogger, an author, and a spiritual director. Her newest book is an e-book, First Things First, A Personal Retreat Journal and is available for download (pdf ) and also available on Kindle.

First Things First is a journal that takes you on a spiritual journey as seen through the eyes and heart of the author. It is written with simplicity and the straightforward manner which is the mark of this particular author's writing style. Many of you know Colleen through her blog and Catholic website or from reading her memoir, The Third Floor Window (a personal favorite of mine) and have been blessed by her insights and her ability to pierce through the morass of our messy lives and reach to the heart of things. She has done this once again with First Things First. This book can be used as a retreat guide or for spiritual reading and reflection.

Whenever we read spiritual books under the guidance of the Holy Spirit there are things that have a tendency to "stand out" for each reader. These things that stand out are often areas the Lord is calling our attention to so I am going to write about what jumped out at me.

The first thing that struck a chord in me were Colleen's words about patience and balance.  "The message I have been getting today is to be more patient with myself. I expect too much of myself. I expect perfection..."

Got me there. I have a tendency toward perfectionism, especially in the spiritual life (which is a mark of pride). Unfortunately, my idea of perfect and God's are miles apart.

 "My life is out of balance."

Mine too. Until we understand that we need to let go of our rigid hold on life (our idea of perfect) our lives will never be balanced. Like Colleen, I have a tendency to multi-task. Multi-tasking robs me of my peace and makes me feel as if I am rushing through life and using my time unwisely. A wise use of time is to focus  on the task at hand and live in the present moment. Colleen touches upon this widespread problem in her book. We live in a world that focuses on rushing and productivity and many of us need to slow down so we can hear the Lord instead of our inner tumult.

And then came these words: "I am worried about the birds. They look exhausted trying to beat their wings with the wind and the rain pelting down on them. There are enough trees around here for them to rest in. Why don't they?"

I read these words over and over. At first I couldn't understand why they struck me like a ton of bricks. And then I realized...I felt like one of those birds. Pelted by the storm and beaten by the wind. When she mentioned trees, a mental picture of the Tree of the Cross formed in my mind and I knew Jesus was telling me to bring my disordered life to the foot of the cross and take refuge in His opened side.

Colleen's book is all about putting things in their proper order. I'll leave you with this quote:

 "First things first. Put God first in my life and let everything flow from there."


As an interesting side note: I have been wanting to do this book review ever since I first read the book but I kept getting a check in the spirit (a "not yet") and couldn't figure out why. Today I felt the nudge to write it and after finishing the review I realized that this e-book would be a good book for those who are trying to discern if their aridity in prayer is due to measures beyond their control or due to an imbalance in their spiritual lives. The Lord lined it up after my post on aridity. The second thing I noticed is the theme of the book lined up with today's Gospel reading. Interesting.


 

No kneelers? Say what?

I usually attend the 9:00 AM Mass at a small chapel about half an hour from my house but this past week the pastor switched the time to 8:00 instead. There's no way I can make it to Mass at this time because Michaela is not at school yet. There is a noon Mass at a different church about 15 minutes from my house but here's the problem:

THERE ARE NO KNEELERS!

I don't get it. How can a Catholic Church (and I am sure it's a Catholic Church) have no kneelers? I'm stumped and haven't dared ask why there are none so I just kneel on the hard floor standing out like a sore thumb. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the discomfort; I offer that up. What bothers me is the fact that Our Lord is present in the Eucharist (the Mass itself is fine) but because there are no kneelers, everyone stands. I don't even care about sticking out like a sore thumb, I care about what this says to the Lord. I mean, is our arrogance so profound today that we feel no need to kneel before the King of Kings?

As for me and my household, we will kneel before the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I can assure you, all our angels are prostrating themselves before the great I AM.

Desert Dwellers Unite!

                                                            I have dibs on the last tree!



Feeling a bit "dry" lately? Spitting out Hail Mary's through gritted teeth? Are your parched throats choking on Our Fathers? Wondering if your bones have turned to dust yet? Or even worst, has the dust blown away and left bits of you scattered all over the desert's wide expanse? (You know...for the birds to pick at.)

Oh, you DO know?

But wait. Repulsed at even the thought of prayer? Is spiritual reading like reading the dictionary (only worse because at least you can understand one or two of the words in the dictionary). Reduced to tucking your Rosary under your pillow (just in case) or clinging to your favorite holy card (blessed of course...just in case)?

 Holy water in your nightstand?

 You know...just in case.

 In case of what? Who knows, but it's comforting simply knowing it's there.

Hey wait! Is that an Oasis over there?!

Cool! I knew this journey couldn't last forever! Relief at last!

You crawl in the dirt under the hot desert sun only to find...
it was just a mirage.

So you sit in the hot sand...

...and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.


Well, I just wanted to say:

Greetings from one desert dweller to another!

I loved this post...

...it was beautiful beyond words:

ENTRANCE TO HIS SACRED HEART

Mwah...pacher...wewewewe

No, I'm not giving a lesson in tongues.

If only that was it.

Today, I went to Mass and received Communion. After everyone went back to their pews, I heard a strange repetitive noise. A young boy (around 4 or 5) had fallen asleep and was snoring loud enough to wake the dead. This is a small, quiet, chapel and usually very silent after Communion. I struggled to maintain my dignity but as the sound of the child "sawing logs" interspersed with squeaking sounds grew...so did my hilarity. I burst in peals of laughter and could not stop. Pretending to have a coughing and sneezing fit didn't work either. (This is my old standby in situations like these.) I begged the Lord to "make it stop, oh please, make it stop". Not a chance. He was busy with more important stuff like making sure a tired boy got his zzzz's in. The more I tried to smother the laughter the worse it became. I gained control by the time Father gave the final blessing but on the way out of the church the man seated behind me looked right at me, winked, and had a huge grin on his face.

No one said a word, thankfully. Sometimes, if I can keep the laughter silent enough and I can cover my face with my hands, I can pretend I'm crying.

I'm not sure I inherited the gene of "laughing at totally inappropriate moments" from my mom or my dad. (I think my dad is the culprit.) The majority of time, these giggling fits take place either during solemn ceremonies or in overflowing elevators where there is complete silence. You know, someone will "let one go" loudly and the Lord seems determined that I should take the blame for each and every one of these incidents. It's the bane of my existence. If the giggling mechanism is set off, I'm done for. The shoulder shaking and the strange choking noises I make are always a dead give-a-way. I always want to shout, "It wasn't me! I swear!"

 I get back at the Lord for allowing this by "offering it up".

Anyone have any advice?

Please don't say, "Grow up!" I can't seem to do that. And no, "Think morbid thoughts." That doesn't work either. I've left the Church on occasion but in small chapels I am pinned by people on both sides.

Is there a saint for this?

And no, I am not joking.

I've asked the Lord to "make it stop" since I was a child and He never has.

Victor? I know you've had this "difficulty" before? What's your secret? Spill it, please.

Anyone?


PS (Don't you dare comment on the elevator incident at Disney World if you read this, dear brother of mine... I WILL delete it. Besides, you set me off. No mentioning the funeral incident, either, because that was your fault too. Comments aren't allowed by family members on this post. You either, Kath. No beach church comments either - I'm still mortified over that one. Randy, that means you too. You have no idea what it's like right after giving birth when your body disobeys you at will and I didn't ASK the baby to spit the pacifier out. You could have done the right thing and picked it up yourself you know. That WOULD have been the gentlemanly thing to do. Poor girls behind us had to leave the church.)

Father Steven Scheier's Judgment Experience

I first watched this show on EWTN many years ago and it affects me today just as powerfully as it did back then. It explains my recent posts far better than I could ever do.

Do not Quench the Spirit

Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy.
Act in me, O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy.
Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit, that I love only what is holy.
Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy.
Guard me so, O Holy Spirit, that I may always be holy.
Amen



As Christians, we live, not naturally, but supernaturally. The Holy Spirit lives in us to lead us, guide us, love us and transform us. In 1 Thessalonians 5:19 it says:
"Do not quench the Spirit."
I was thinking about this passage and it is clear that we CAN put out the fire of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Unconfessed sin is like pouring water over the fire of the Spirit, especially grievous sin. Our lives were meant to be lived knitted to the Spirit. He is the Advocate promised by Jesus. Nothing separates us more from God than sin...unconfessed sin. Even venial sin gradually begins to harden our hearts and leave us less open to the inspirations of the Spirit. Verse 22 goes on to say:
"Refrain from every kind of evil."
That a big request. EVERY kind of evil. Lack of charity, lies, unjust anger (let's face it - most anger is unjust). This is why regular confession is important. Ask the Holy Spirit for light and confess your sins. I go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation about once a month on average and I also ask forgiveness immediately during the course of the day if I've noticed I have sinned. This seems to keep the Holy Spirit shining brightly in my soul. Confession pleases Him. Prayer helps, too.

"Lord who hast mercy upon all, take away from me my sins, and mercifully, kindle in me the fire of thy Holy Spirit. Take away from me this heart of stone, and give me a heart of flesh, a heart to love and adore Thee, a heart to delight in Thee, to follow and to enjoy Thee, for Christ's sake. Amen"
                                              St. Gregory? (Does anyone know who wrote this lovely little prayer?)

A Thousand Little Deaths

Hell can be described as  a perpetual alienation from our true being, our true self, which is in God."
                                                                                                           Thomas Merton

In my posts, Utterly encompassed and The Kingdom of Light, I spoke of how we create "false kingdoms" for ourselves and rule over them like little gods. I'd like to continue on this subject because of how critical it is that we allow God to tear down these kingdoms that have little to no basis in God's reality. How are these   "kingdoms" taken down? By allowing God to destroy the false self we have created and set up as gods in these kingdoms of "me, myself and I".

What? You think we are better than our first parents, Adam and Eve? That we didn't inherit their fallen nature?

We, too, have bitten the apple that contained the worm of "You shall be as gods." And ever since the fall, we have set ourselves on the throne where only the living God can truly be. There is no life without God and if we do not renounce our thrones, we live in a world of our own making. Fallen human hearts are wily by nature. By simply paying attention to the ways we try to justify our sins, this can be proven. For a woman of average intelligence, I can be quite a genius when it comes to evil. I've even caught myself enumerating to God why I sin the way I do some days. "This insomnia crushes me and makes me cranky. If you could lift the insomnia I don't think I would have committed this sin." Yeah, right."This migraine was too much to take so I couldn't help yelling at my daughter." Say what? "If that man on the road hadn't yelled at me I wouldn't have been grumpy with my husband."  If my back didn't ache, if I didn't have the flu, if I wasn't depressed, if I didn't have Myasthenia Gravis. (Yes, I was healed of this but I used to use it as an excuse for why my behavior was not so good.) I think you get my drift, I used outward circumstances to absolve myself to some degree of my sin. Not in the Confessional, of course, just in my head. Now, there is no need for me to justify my actions before God...He knows me better than I know myself. I'm pretty sure this justification is for my own benefit. So I can sit on my throne a bit longer, perhaps? After all, if I am booted off my throne I have to eat dust and dust just isn't my favorite snack. Neither is humble pie, come to think of it.

I just don't trust myself. I have long since realized that I am my own biggest cross and it will stay this way until I renounce my ego and allow God to bring forth the real me. The one who has no need of masks, no need to please others, no need to emotionally manipulate others to have my needs met. The "real" person that God created has all his or her needs met by God; it is the false self that has needs and expectations that can never be met. This false self is a figment of our sinful imaginations. A wisp of smoke; a caricature of the true self which lives in God.

I have often thought that God allows many humiliations and failures in our lives because they are aimed at this falseness in our nature. The saints took humiliating experiences with equanimity because these experiences do not harm the true self that is caught up in the love of God. They destroy the false self and help us to see ourselves for who we truly are, not for who we imagine ourselves to be.

We want to be as gods and the Lord gives us what we want...and then we realize that we make lousy gods and the dethroning begins.

These thousands of "little deaths" make us humble. They crucify our ill will so that God's will may reign supreme in our hearts.

Dust and humble pie will probably stay on the menu for quite some time, no doubt. At least John the Baptist got to eat locusts and wild honey.

Pentecost Novena - 9th Day

Saturday - The Outpouring of the Spirit at Pentecost

"Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them.
   All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as
   the Spirit gave them the ability."     Acts 2: 3-4

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.      Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Pentecost Novena - 8th Day

Friday - The Fruit of the Spirit

"By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against
such things."     Gal. 5:22-23

Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your love.
Set our lives aflame with your gifts.
Grant us wisdom to choose what is good and true;
understanding to embrace your plan of salvation;
right judgment to act according to your will;
courage to share our faith with others;
knowledge to live as disciples of Jesus Christ;
reverence to respond faithfully to your grace each day;
and wonder and awe in your presence.
Inspire us with enthusiasm for our Catholic faith.
Grant us boldness to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ,
and help us to bring the transforming power of the gospel to our world.
We make this prayer through Christ, our Lord.      Amen

1 Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be