Sunday, August 5, 2012

Fudging

Have you ever had someone ask if they can swing by your house for a visit? You say, "Sure! C'mon over!"

And then you look around and realize that your house is a pit and you have about twenty minutes to make it look good enough for company. So you run around like a mad woman in a frenzy hiding the mess as best you can so that your house looks presentable on the surface and hope that your friend doesn't decide to coax your kitten out from under the sofa where he's batting around dust bunnies and shredding your kid's books.

No?

Well, have you ever planned to give your house a thorough cleaning so hubby can come home and say, "Wow! You've been busy!" (UGH...true though - just wanted to pat my own back) but you get caught up on your blog instead? So about half an hour before he is due home from work you give the house a quickie so it looks like you've been doing something besides blogging half the day away?

Never?

Well, the truth is that I've done both.  I've fudged in my cleaning plenty of times. Made the surface look good all the while knowing that it's a mess in disguise and hoping I don't get "caught".

It's a pride thing.

You know...Mary the pharisee and all that.

I get caught sometimes though. The other day I walked in the door and my husband said, "Hon, you gotta see this." He then pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of our dog, Caesar, with a pair of underwear around his neck.

Of course...they were mine.

"Ooops! He must have gotten into the laundry basket."

"I think he found them under the bed, Hon. He was wrestling with something under there and then came downstairs like this."

My husband thought it was hilarious.

 I just hope he didn't post it on Facebook.

Sometimes we can sneak things by SOME people but never past God.  He has full knowledge of "hidden things".  I cannot count the number of times during my bedtime prayers when I sheepishly say to God, "I did it again, Lord. Got caught up on the computer. Just call me Mary the Pharisee."

You can't sneak anything past Our Lady either. When she cleans your inner house she doesn't bypass the closets.

I often wonder how many skeletons tumbled out when she opened the doors.

Sigh.


24 comments:

  1. I certainly know how blogging can get in the way...but I am back now!! This is 'pip', by the way...I've been busy writing other stuff and have relaunched my blog, where my first book is being shamelessly plugged :) Hope to get back in regular touch again now!!

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  2. Hi Pip! It's good to hear from you! I'm glad that you are back!
    I'll hop over to visit and check out the book you are shamelessly plugging:)

    Hope you and your family are well!

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  3. LOL...oh my gosh. I love the dog with the underwear!

    Been there, done that and just don't look behind the sofa or behind the shower curtain (and don't look too close in the corners where all the dog hairs accumulate!)

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  4. Here are a few tips about cleaning the house.

    When someone calls on you and says they're popping round to see you; make the house as untidy as possible. Empty all the drawers on the floor, and push over all the chairs, and photos off the walls. When they visit tell them you've just been burgled and they'll have pity and help you tidy up.

    Whenever we go on holidays we always make a big mess like that before we leave. That way, should we be burgled the burglar will think that someone else has already been; and he'll leave us alone.

    And another thing; you can always start a new hobby and tell people you collect dust. Cat hairs, dog hairs, ordinary dust that sort of thing. It's quite trendy and fashionable.

    I was once asked what's on TV whilst I was watching it. I replied "Dust!". Mind you, I didn't get a cooked dinner that day. Some people have no sense of humour.

    We have so much dust on out TV it now broadcasts in black and white. It's like watching TV through a thick fog.

    And there's nothing wrong with spending time on your Blog. You can tell God you're actually witnessing for Him on the Internet instead of housework. Jesus would like that. Didn't He say something about it to Martha, or Margareth, or that woman who complained that she was doing all her housework whilst her sister listened to Jesus. Can't remember her name.

    Oh ... before I forget. Can you
    ask your husband to publish that dog photo on FB; or perhaps you can publish it here!

    Thanx for a good luagh and God bless.

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  5. Great message Mary!

    (and we are quite fortunate when you spend time blogging instead of cleaning your house!)

    God Bless.

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  6. Hi Theresa,
    I was embarrassed - his neck was stuck through the leg hole and Randy snapped the picture with his phone camera. Truth is: if you leave ANYTHING on the floor in our house the dogs (or cat) will find it.

    Uhm...guilty as charged on the shower curtain thing too. My shower curtain is very pretty and good at hiding stuff ;)

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  7. Hi Victor,
    Hey! Why didn't I think of that? Good ideas :)
    We actually have a junk drawer in our kitchen and it gets filled regularly. I would love to say that I'm the one who cleans it out but since we've moved in Randy has done it twice. He wipes down the TV sometimes too. (No doubt with my daughter's socks that are left hanging around.)

    I could probably use a bit more Martha in me ;) I bet my husband thinks so!

    I'll consider posting the picture. (Yeah, right.) Lol.

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  8. Hi Michael,
    Thank you :) I'm just amazed by how much extra time I have when I take a break from blogging though. I find that there really ARE 24 hours in a day!

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  9. I can't believe you mentioned the shower curtain. I think I am the charter member of the pretty shower curtain but don't look behind it club. Truth be told, I hate housecleaning, and the worst part its only me I have to pick up and clean after. But on the spiritual side, I was thinking about how difficult I find confession. Sometimes I find myself saying "I just cleaned that area of my soul; it needs it again?" But as you said, we can't hide anything from God. So we may as well get it all out in front of Him.
    Excellent post, Mary~thanks!

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  10. Fantastic post! I was laughing and digesting spiritual truth at the same time... perfect.

    My personal housecleaning motto was taken from comedienne Phyllis Diller years ago. Dab some furniture polish behind your ears so you'll smell tired when your husband gets home from work.

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  11. Love this. I can relate to all of it. God bless.

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  12. Hi Karin,
    You too? Well, at least I'm in good company :)

    Maybe I'll take Nancy's advice and dab furniture polish behind my ears...

    I must be over-confessing again or something because the last few times I went to Confession the priest said to just pick a few sins (if they are not serious)to confess. Personally, I like to dump the whole lot at once (that's how the nuns taught me when I was a child) but I guess that's not the way it's done anymore.

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  13. Hi Nancy,

    Lol! Thanks for the helpful tip!

    Actually, Lemon Pledge smells pretty good. I HAVE sprayed a bit into the air before. Seriously. I just never thought of dabbing it behind my ears...

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  14. Hi Colleen,
    Join the club!

    You can relate to having a dog wearing your underwear too? Oh, good...now I don't feel so bad ;)

    By the way, do you think you could stop sending that hot, humid, Florida air up here for a bit? The windows in my house actually fogged up yesterday!

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  15. Mary,

    I'm guilty too!

    The other day Andy took the girls to the swimming pool, and I stayed home to do some housework. I decided to change the sheets on our bed, and as I stripped them off, I noticed a thick layer of dust between the bed and the wall. I pulled out the bed, and vacuumed the carpet. Then I noticed dust on the bed frame so I went looking for a cloth. Then I discovered dust behind the chests next to the bed... it turned into a never-ending job. When Andy arrived home, the bed was back in place, the bed was made, but the floor was littered with all sorts of things I pulled out from under it. I don't think Andy realised I'd been working hard all morning. There was absolutely nothing to show for all my efforts. I should have quickly made the bed, and then spent the morning on the computer!

    Seriously, I am struggling, trying to get a balance between doing my duties and spending time on the computer. It's just as well my girls are more disciplined than me. They keep the house running smoothly during those times when I have disappeared into the blogosphere.

    Great post, Mary. I think most of us can relate. God bless!

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  16. Hi Sue,
    Funny! I can relate to your story! Sometimes when you dig the dirt out of the hidden places the surface looks worse temporarily. (Lol, I just read what I wrote and realize that this is true spiritually too! Thanks for the lesson!)

    I've been blogging for three years now and I still struggle for balance in this area - I enjoy blogging but need to take breaks from it regularly because it becomes a burden at times. When it does I know it's time to back off a bit. (Though sometimes I ignore this "nudge" to back off ;)

    God bless you, too!

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  17. My excuse is that I am trying to get the kids to learn to clean up after themselves, but they are stubborn.

    I had written a fairly long explanation but in short I should just say ditto, except in mine it's a cat not a dog.

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  18. This is so true for me and I love about the dog finding the underwear! I usually get a second wind a few hours before my husband gets home and start doing everything I was supposed to do all day long. We have a few junk drawers here! And I make sure and close all the closet doors or doors to rooms that I don't have time to pick up when company comes. I am more clean than I am tidy it seems.

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  19. Hi Puff,
    My daughter's room is the messiest one in the house right now. I have been trying to teach her to clean up after herself for years now but it's not working.

    Our kitten is sweet but destroys the house. I've caught him climbing curtains, shredding carpets, knocking over plants and pictures, etc...

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  20. Hi Monica,
    Oh I do that too! Close the bedroom doors and stuff (definitely the closet doors)!

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  21. Oh my too funny Mary! Thank you for sharing.

    B/t/w do you have trouble getting on to my blog? Do you get a virus warning? Blessings.

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  22. Hi Grace,
    No, I've been able to get on your blog just fine. I was on there yesterday too and had no problems. I'm glad you were able to fix it. I use Google Chrome for a browser. (I noticed you were asking yesterday but the comments were closed.)

    Hugs!!

    Next time I'm getting a bird ;) They don't steal underwear, do they?

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  23. No they don't steal underwear, just roll in it.

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