Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Two Hearts Entwined - new blog

I started a new blog called "Two Hearts Entwined" http://twoheartsonesong.blogspot.com/ . It is a combination of my poetry, prayers, and quotes from some of my favorite saints. I am still in the middle of copying poems but there are quite a few posts up for those who would like to check it out .  Please don't hesitate to leave prayer requests on any of my blogs, I  love praying and would be happy to bring anyone's intentions before the Lord.

Adding to the equation

3 sick people  + 1 bathroom = big trouble   :(

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Add it up

1 husband home with a stomach bug + 1 child home on school vacation = no time to post  :)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Aridity

"Aridity is the fruit of our defects."                  
               St. Padre Pio

This quote made perfect sense to me. God is pure love and we live in His love. His love is always the same - infinite and unchanging; therefore it is our love that changes. If we were always aware of the constancy of His love I don't think we would have problems with prayer. It is our heart fluctuations that cause difficulty in prayer. God never walks away from us....we walk away from Him. The easiest way to overcome aridity for me is to remember to focus on Him. When I am caught up in my own problems and lose sight of Him, this is when my prayer life seems to suffer. I like to meditate on his love and truth when I am having prayer trouble. This seems to be a quick cure :)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Check this out!

Check out this post, it is absolutely beautiful. You can find it here: http://colleenspiro.blogspot.com/2009/12/gods-most-beautiful-word.html . Thank's Colleen!

"For a child is born to us..."

"For a child is born to us, a son is given us;
    upon his shoulders dominion rests.
They name him Wonder-Councelor, God-Hero,
    Father-Forever, Prince of Peace     (Is 9:5)


Merry Christmas to all!

The Fruit Of Her Womb

Hail! Full of Grace
Heavenly Rose
From thy Fiat
Salvation arose

Unto thy womb
The Spirit flew
And sowed the seed
Of life anew

O Beautiful Dove
Star of the Sea
In the cradle of thy womb
Dwelt Divinity

Flower of Carmel
Enfolded in thee
The Word made Flesh
Nestled peacefully

Salvation poured forth
One silent eve
A signal for men
That all might believe

On this holy night
In the fullness of time
"The woman" gave birth
The child...Divine

                Mary N.  2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

"If anybody tries to lay their hands on me, I'm outta there!"

In my last post I spoke about the dreams I began having after my conversion. The nights were great, but during the day I wanted to talk to people about God, but ,with the exception of my mom, nobody wanted to talk about Him. I thought about God day and night and started getting depressed due to the lack of people willing to talk about Him. "Lord, you don't have many friends here", I would tell Him. This wasn't true... I just couldn't find them! One day, after Mass, I saw a pamphlet in the back of the Church that described a seminar called Life in the Spirit. Having had bad [horrendous really] experiences with the Charismatic Movement as a child I was very wary about attending but I was desperate to learn and talk to anybody about God. I understood, by that time, that what I had undergone as a child was a form of "toxic religion" and didn't really mean that every charismatic christian group was like this [after a period of counseling, I had mostly come to terms with this part of my past]. It was on Tuesday night from 7:00 - 9:00 and my husband was asleep at this time since he worked third shift back then. After some prayer, I decided to go. I figured that I could stop attending if I didn't like it.

The first meeting was great, everyone talked about God, prayed, and someone gave a talk on the Holy Spirit. The people were kind and you could tell that they really loved God. "This is cool", I thought to myself, "I can handle this."  The second meeting was a little different; after speaking about God, people started praying in tongues. "Here we go", I said to the Lord, "The bizzare stuff is coming next." I didn't know how to speak in tongues, but I had known people who had this gift and the thought didn't thrill me.  " Lord, if I did that I would probably accidentally blaspheme you or something. You probably shouldn't give me this gift."

I skipped the next week. The following week I felt the strong urge to go. "Okay, Lord, but if anybody tries to lay their hands on me I'm outta there!" I went and no one laid a hand on me but the meetings were getting stranger and stranger. At one point a bunch of people got up and started singing to the Lord, all in different languages! The harmonies were spectacular!  "Wow!", I said to God, "that's pretty awesome."  After the singing, people started standing up and giving " Words of Knowledge". These were all passages from the Bible. I remember praying very hard and saying, "Please, Lord, don't give me one of these words. I'm too shy and afraid to stand up in front of all these people." At that moment, someone stood up and said, "My strength is made perfect in weakness."  I giggled... I knew this one was for me, I could feel it. Luckily, the Lord never called on me and I relaxed and enjoyed the seminars in the weeks that followed. Until, that is, the final week. When they explained that teams would be praying over all the newcomers I got really nervous and started to panic. Though I knew this group wasn't like the ones from my childhood, by the time it was my turn I had a panic attack. My body was drenched with sweat from head to toe and my hands were icy cold. I tried taking steady breaths and tried to relax. The team started praying over me and.....nothing. Nothing bad happened. I didn't know what I was expecting, but the only experience that I had ever had with charismatic groups in the past were the kind who thought there were demons behind every cough and sneeze and the devil's minions were lurking about in every corner ready to pounce on us if we were not good. By the time I was 16,  I had stopped going to church because I was terrified of God the Father - He didn't seem very loving to me, or to my brothers and sisters. We all left the church, though our pain had nothing to do with Catholicism. Luckily, we were all confirmed, but that was about it. But I am digressing [or maybe I should say: regressing ], nothing bad happened while I was being prayed over and it was fine. One of the ladies even had a vision of me in heaven at the Lord's table and he was anointing me with oil .
Did I ever have vivid dreams that night! With the exception of this seminar I have had no involvement in the Charismatic Movement [except for the childhood stuff]  but I do know a few people who have charisms. I am not sure why I didn't join this group. I think part of it is that I love peace and quiet. The Church that I attend is very traditional and beautiful, this Christmas we celebrate the 100th anniversary of the 1st Mass celebrated here! The architecture is incredible and Catholic to the bone: I love it here. And it was here, in this quiet, old, church that I first started receiving "Words of Knowledge".

I can speak in tongues, now, but I rarely do so. Only in emergencies :)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Confirmations in the spirit and holy dreams

http://www.markmallett.com/blog/?p=1480

Some may wonder why I often leave links to Mark Mallett's site. There are a number of reasons. The first is that I believe that he has a true prophetic gift. Second, the "words" he receives come to him in a similar manner as mine do and when I read certain writings of his I get a witness in the spirit. A witness in the spirit usually comes to me when the Lord wants to confirm another person's words to show me the truth in them. This doesn't only happen to me on Mark Mallett's site, the Lord often uses it whenever He wants to draw my attention to something in particular. The Holy Spirit floods me and it feels as like a mixture of heat and electricity, waves of it. He does this when He is giving me "words", also. If the word is particularly strong my body sometimes shakes. It has just been in this past year that the shaking has started and I was concerned at first until I heard that this is not uncommon. Another reason that I believe that his charisms are real is that some of his "words" and dreams have been the same as mine.

I often use the terms "word of knowledge" and "prophetic word" interchangeably but they are actually two different things. There is also "word of wisdom" which is slightly different. I will attempt over the next couple weeks to explain what I know about these charisms, as well as prophetic dreams, as simply as I can. Many people only believe what they can see with their eyes and forget that there is a spiritual world, also, and we are not simply matter but spiritual beings. There is a certain snobbery that exists today that says charisms are no longer needed; we are too enlightened for that. I say:
They are needed now as never before in history. The Holy Spirit didn't stop giving these gifts, many people simply don't want them or are unaware of them. Some of the Christian sites that I have read will not have anything to do with charisms or private revelations, apparitions and miracles. I cannot understand why. The Spirit gives these gifts to build the Church, they didn't suddenly stop existing. People don't trust them, but they can be extremely helpful. At least that is what I have found in my own life.  Almost every personal prophetic word the Lord has given me has come true including the birth of my baby which came with a time.  Well, except for one, which was just given to me and a few that will take some time to fully play out, but I have faith that God's word is good.

It is very hard to get information in books or over the internet about charisms, especially among Catholics, so I am just going to try to explain in my own words what little I have learned about some of them. I do not have all the charisms so those might be a little harder to explain.

I'll start with the gift of dreams since this was the first charism that I noticed outside of prayer charisms. The dreams started almost immediately after the Lord brought my soul into the presence of His Mercy http://openingthefloodgatesofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/06/heart-of-jesus-infinite-in-mercy.html . I called them "Holy Spirit dreams" for lack of a better word. I didn't know much about the spiritual life at this point; I was like a baby cradled in the arms of God, one who couldn't even walk yet. The first dreams consisted of knowledge being poured into my head while I slept. I was aware that this was going on, I would "catch" the Lord at it many times. In the morning I would wake up knowing things about God that I had previously not known. One day I woke up with the words "indoctrination of the Holy Spirit on my lips", other times I would be given things. In one dream Jesus put an old coin in my hand [ I wrote about this one on one of my blogs], in another, I was in a room reading beautiful ancient scrolls in another language. These dreams continued in this fashion for a period of time, it was as if the Lord was preparing me for something. Meanwhile, I started attending daily Mass and became a daily communicant [after a long confession, of course]. I also started reading the bible, praying the rosary and reading about the saints. I was bowled over when I heard about St. Faustina and the Divine Mercy. The first time I saw the Divine Mercy picture, I said, " Lord! That picture reminds me of what happened to me, the rays which pierced my soul, the mercy and love emanating from your Heart. That's what You did to me!"  I  bought her diary not too long after that and was fascinated with it. I started praying the Mercy Chaplet and this is when I started waking up every single night at 3:33. It was strange. I would go to sleep and would get woken up at 3:33, never 3:32 or 3:34 but always 3:33 on the nose. I took this as a call to prayer and started praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in the middle of the night. I later read somewhere that 333 was the number of the Trinity. Once, I got a word of knowledge that this was a call to the prayer warriors and God was waking up many Christians at this time to pray for the world. Some people get woken up at 3:00 instead and almost everyone that this happens to takes it as a call to prayer.

I have posted about some of my dreams on my blogs including one in which I was given a glimpse of hell. In some I was battling demons and losing until St. Michael came to help me. The minute St. Michael stepped into the picture they were done for. I think this one was to teach me to call on St. Michael whenever I needed help, so I started praying the St. Michael prayer. The dreams continued and still do. Some have been prophetic dreams, many have been spiritual battles and some are just conversations with the Lord. These dreams are unlike regular dreams, they are extremely vivid and filled with power.

I'll have to continue this in another post, I just realized how long it was getting :)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Sunday Snippets

This That and the Other Thing: Sunday Snippets--A Catholic Carnival is a weekly meme hosted by RAnn where bloggers can get together and share their favorite posts with each other. I have found many wonderful blogs since joining this meme and have read some great posts. I didn't really post much this week so I am going to share a couple of older posts:

  1. http://openingthefloodgatesofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/07/truth.html
  2. http://openingthefloodgatesofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/07/fiat.html 
The first post is about prayer, the second about the power of one person in cooperation with the Holy Spirit. Hopefully, I will be able to post more frequently next week!

Sabbath Moments


Colleen at Thoughts on Grace http://colleenspiro.blogspot.com/  hosts this weekly meme and I am joining her once again this Saturday. Sabbath Moments remind us to live in the present and just be. Each and every day is a blessed gift from our gracious Lord and there is beauty and wonder in each one if we look with the eyes of our soul.
This week was very hectic for me but even with all the activity there were a few moments that reached into my heart and touched my spirit. One of these moments came as I was doing some Christmas shopping and was driving to a store. I decided to do the Chaplet of Divine Mercy as I was driving and I felt flooded with God's grace. He even gave me a personal "word " that filled me with joy and thanksgiving. I am waiting for Him to fulfill this word in me and I have faith that He will do it because His words are always good.
Another moment that filled me with love and joy came upon me this morning as I was cuddling with my daughter. She was sick during the night and crawled in bed with us. After my husband left for work I simply held her and prayed while she slept. When she woke up we snuggled and gabbed for half an hour before getting out of bed. Every time I hold her little hand I feel a touch of heaven on earth. God simply overwhelms me with love for this child, even the thought of our time together this morning brings a smile to my face. God is good.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

An interesting article on private revelation

http://www.markmallett.com/blog/?p=1295

If it's paper...

I haven't been posting as much lately because I am trying to transfer all my poetry onto one blog. This might not seem like a very big task, but I have poems everywhere. On my blogs, in notebooks, and on scrap paper all over the house. There are half-completed ones tucked in my desk, my purse and my car and I am trying to find them all. We have a lot of papers because my husband knows better than to throw out anything  that can be written on. This may include envelopes, the back of junk mail, etc... I think you get my drift.
          Have I told you lately that I'm disorganized?
     

Monday, December 14, 2009

Prayer - The Gift of Praise

As far as prayer charisms go you would think the gift of praise would be the first one given. Maybe, for many people, that is the case. Not for me. This was one of the last prayer gifts I received, only God knows why.

For many years I had trouble praising God. Oh, I praised Him. Often. The problem was: unlike the rest of my prayer life, it didn't seem to come from the heart. I would force myself to do it and I would even pray Psalms of praise to Him. I loved Him dearly. Why couldn't I praise Him with my whole heart? It was as if I was somewhat blocked when it came to praise. So... for years I praised and thanked God and then I would apologize to Him. "I'm sorry, Lord. I want to praise You with my whole being but it just won't come out."

One day my daughter was watching TV and fiddling with the remote control. She got bored and left the room to go do something else. I started cleaning the living room and paused to dust the top of the TV. As I was dusting, a televangelist on the TV said, "Something BIG is going to happen in your life!"  Fire went through my body.  "I don't know if this is for someone in the audience or someone at home, but something BIG is going to happen in your life."  The fire of the Holy Spirit engulfed me and I was given the gift of praise. This is a true story, despite how weird  it sounds. God has a great sense of humor and if He wants to heal or give gifts to someone through a television set, that's exactly what happens. All power is His and who are we to say otherwise. After that I was able to praise Him with my whole heart. I was even waking up from dreams with praises on my lips. It was really strange, but stranger things have happened. God is a God of miracles!

Thank you, Lord, for this precious gift!

Oh, by the way, pip, it gets a lot weirder than this but I guess you're right, I can always offer it up as suffering if people think I'm crazy ;)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

This That and the Other Thing: Sunday Snippets--A Catholic Carnival

This That and the Other Thing: Sunday Snippets--A Catholic Carnival This Sunday I am joining RAnn for her Sunday Snippets Meme. We are a group of bloggers who meet once a week to share our posts with each other.
This week most of my posts were about prayer. A life without prayer is like trying to breathe underwater, there is not enough oxygen to sustain us. Without prayer the soul drowns in worldliness, it becomes less sensitive to things of the spirit. This week I'd like to share these two posts:

  1. http://openingthefloodgatesofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/12/intercessory-prayer.html  
  2. http://openingthefloodgatesofmercy.blogspot.com/2009/12/just-pray.html