Like most people, I have a duplicitous heart and have struggled to cede control over my "little world" to the one who is the Creator of the world. As a matter of fact, I am, unwittingly, often my own worse enemy. My "little world" is a false one and the queen of this "world" is a pretender to the throne:
She must be unseated but she fights to keep her position. God is gentle but firm in dethroning her. It is taking years but she has ceded much ground to Him. He often sends foot soldiers in to pierce her dreadful armor and at this point the armor is ragged and torn and helps little in the way of defense. During each skirmish she is quicker and quicker to wave the "white flag" and is beginning to gracefully concede her "powerlessness" in the eyes of the great King. One day He will surely "disarm" her completely. She is secretly looking forward to this day. You see, He has promised to share with this "pretender to the throne" his own kingdom and has given her many glimpses of the treasures within. But first... first she must cast her own crown of "fool's gold" to the ground along with the baubles she clutches in her hands if she wants to enter HIS kingdom. But what will happen to her own little kingdom? Will it just dissipate into thin air? After all the years she spent building it? Still, if she was being honest she would admit that the baubles and crown were growing heavier each year and bowing her head and back down under their great weight. What good is a kingdom with one subject anyway? Maybe she should take the chance and toss them down right now?
She once thought He was her enemy and was deeply afraid of Him. At one time, He spent day and night scaling the walls of her little kingdom. She grew utterly exhausted trying to keep Him out. As time wore on she got used to his intrusions into her small world and her heart would begin to quicken when she heard his footsteps. She didn't admit that to Him back then for fear He would crush her with his strength and collapse her little kingdom with one blow. He was never one to follow the rules though and she began to realize that He was actually quite fond of her and had no wish to destroy her, but, merely to dismantle her kingdom piece by piece. At first she cried when He looted her kingdom but she quickly came to realize that the loot He "stole" were things she had borrowed from Him when she was young (they were close friends back then, you know) but had misused and forgotten to return. She could hardly get angry at Him for taking what was rightfully his, could she? There were times she missed her "borrowed things" but mostly she felt happy that she had less to worry about. It gave her more time gaze at Him in secret. She thought He must know by now that deep inside she loved Him but felt unworthy to do so. Once during their more peaceful moments He had told her that "love makes things worthy" and that his love would make all things new. He had others who lived in his Kingdom and they assured her that what He said was true.
Slowly but surely she began to believe. Still, there was the small problem of her kingdom. Had all the others had to give up their kingdoms too? 'Yes,' they assured her, 'but you shall see that your kingdom is nothing compared to the Great King's.'
They sure looked happy. Peaceful too. Maybe it was time to throw all caution to the wind? Here He was again looking at her patiently with a smile in his eyes. She took off her "gold" crown and laid it at his feet. The baubles silently slipped from her hands and her "kingdom" dissipated in the wind.
She did not look back.