Saturday, September 10, 2011

How to Trim Your Followers List in Three Simple Steps

For those of you who, like me, get confused over the Follower's gadget in the sidebar and need to trim it down to a manageable level I have three quick and easy steps to help you do so:

1. Be sure to mention the fact that you, along with the Pope, believe that both the Novus Ordo Mass and the Traditional Latin Mass are valid.

2. Don't forget to mention Medjugorje at least once a month if you are trying to trim it down rather quickly. This is the speediest way for those of you who have time constraints and cannot refer to various other apparitions because Google cannot find them easily enough.

3. If you would prefer a slow but thorough cleaning it would be a good idea to bring up the fact that you receive Communion in the hand when you have a cold to spare your elderly priest, whose hands waver,  from getting ill and who must ask his parishioners to hold their heads as still as possible when receiving.

If none of the above work, do not despair. Simply mention the word, "Charismatic" and you will be guaranteed to clear out an average of five a week. Also, it's good to note that as Followers plummet site stats skyrocket though I'm not quite sure what the connection is.


Coming soon by request:  Netiquette

34 comments:

  1. Hi JBR :) Sorry, I cannot resist. Lol! Did you know that after my healing from Myasthenia Gravis that I lost a bunch of followers in one week? Some were offended I think because a Charismatic Priest healed me. Strange but true.

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  2. Enjoyed this and laughing, Mary. So awesome! This must also help to keep a follower list from getting unwieldy in the first place, too, right?

    Praise God you were healed. Yay for the Charismatic Priest that prayed for your healing! Thank God you were healed from this!

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  3. I like it! As Pope JP11 said "Long live the Charismatics!"

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  4. LOL! I only have 17 followers and whenever I get a new one, I wish I could grill them and say--what are you coming around here for? But I am not a fan of Latin, receive Communion in the hand, am clearly Charismatic and just this morning prayed for healing with someone (I believe it is God who does the healing, I just ask.) so I never expect to be a big time blogger and I am absolutely fine with that.

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  5. Okaaaaaay.... Just popped in to say goodbye! No, seriously, Mary - you make me laugh - and I think I can live with all that you mention;-)

    (I read your healing story, a couple of weeks ago - so beautiful! I was so moved and just so happy for you!)

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  6. Colleen,
    Exactly! I mean how would it look if a Traditional/Charismatic/Magisterium following Catholic had a huge follower's list? My BS (that would mean bologny sensor)antennae would be up in a heartbeat and red flags would be waving everywhere.

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  7. Colleen (ID),
    I forgot to add, I think I would have died if I had not been healed. I kept having breathing crises during the night so yes - Thank You, Lord!

    I just tried to leave a comment on your site but it wouldn't go through. I'll try again shortly or send you an e-mail.

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  8. Thanks Colleen (TOG):) They are dropping like flies so I must be doing something right;)

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  9. Thank you, Sister!! Long live the Baptists too!

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  10. Mary,
    Shhh! Don't say Charismatic out loud, my friend! Lol! Honestly though, I am with you on this one - I know many people that God has healed through the prayers of others.

    Dare I mention that I receive Communion under both Species sometimes? (I figure I might as well be thorough in my Fall cleaning.)

    You can grill me anytime :)

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  11. Vicky,
    Good one! You are so kind that you'd actually TELL me first...I knew I liked you for good reason, Vicky :)

    Thank you for commenting about my healing. God has been very, very, good to me. I would blog even if I had no followers. Simply receiving e-mails from others who suffer chronic illnesses and enjoy my blog is enough to keep me going. My heart goes out to them.

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  12. Well, if all else fails mention Lefevre. When I put a post up of my son's re: the Corapi mess, he mentioned Lefevre & I finally had to take the post down...it's just like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Trust me :-)

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  13. Thereserita,
    I never thought of that one... I'm a bit slow. I appreciate the tip though :)

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  14. I have stopped following my blog because I do not like what I write there.

    God bless.

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  15. Ha, ha, ha!!! I love this post. I wonder why so many people want to mind other people's spiritual business instead of their own.

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  16. Victor,
    Good thing you have me there to like what you write instead :)

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  17. Barb,
    Glad you liked it :) And it's true to boot!

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  18. I'm offended by this post and am removing myself from the followers list.

    just kidding ;-) Actually I don't even know if I'm on the list.

    I don't stress about followers. I used to, but I decided just to take the widget thing off my site. If people want to stop by regularly, they are more than welcome to, but I don't need them to "sign up" or whatever.

    Also, sometimes I stop "following" just because my google reader is getting kinda full and I'm just not that interested in their blog anymore. It's nothing personal. People are so weird to do it when they're "mad." Ridiculous.

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  20. Maria,
    Join the crowd :)
    People can still follow you without the widget I think. I've actually had to remove a follower because after I didn't publish his comment he changed his profile picture to a little girl giving the finger! Can you believe that?! I had to write to another blogger because I didn't know how to get it off there. Thankfully she knew how!

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  21. Mary, I need new glasses. I read "How to Trim Your Flowers..." I read your post and wondered what that had to do with flowers. When I realized my mistake I LOL!!

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  22. That's funny! Trust me, I'm not trimming "flowers" yet but there are some beautiful lilies on my followers list along with some roses and a number of other types if you like flower gazing. I have a veritable garden over here of saints and flowers. I even have a tree and some bushes that are quite pretty...

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  23. Hi Mary,

    I go out to dinner, have a few hours sleep, go to Mass and return and what do I find? Another hysterically funny post and 24 comments and I have been left far behind. I can't keep up with your popularity. I shall have to stay glued to my computer in case you write something else so entertaining.

    Whenever I write anything even slightly controversial in my understated way, I wonder if I'll find myself followerless. So far everyone is hanging in there being very tolerant. I did wonder about my ferret post. After posting it I wondered if it would offend some ferret lovers and quickly issued an apology (tongue in cheek) to keep all the nasty comments away.

    I'm off to write a extremely uncontroversial story about a kangaroo. On second thoughts, the kangaroo ended up dead so I hope none of my followers are animal rights activists. Oh, this pleasing everyone is exhausting. That anonymous blog without a followers gadget is looking good!

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  24. Mary, is it possible to remove a follower from your blog, yourself?

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  25. You are funny, Sue! I look forward to your kangaroo post!
    Did you know that some celebrity animal rights activists here in the US are pro-choice also? I cannot for the life of me figure this one out. How can one speak so fervently about saving animals while at the same time raising their voices in defense of abortion? I just don't get it.

    Yes, that anonymous blog is looking good from here too :) God bless!

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  26. Ros,
    Yes, I've had to do this:
    Go to your dashboard, on the right you will see the number of people following your blog, click on it and your followers will show up, click on the one you want to remove and then hit block. This removes the follower from your visible widget. Obviously, they can still read the blog but at least offensive images can be removed like the one I mentioned above. I hope this helps!

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  27. How funny Mary. I think you should include that you pray the rosary. Marian devotion also seems to send the followers scattering!

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  28. Nice post.
    Personally I'm not worried about followers. I'm just happy to avoid excommunication each time I post something.
    Peace,
    LF

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  29. Noreen,
    You are right! I didn't think of that one. I pray the Rosary all the time. The Divine Mercy Chaplet too. I once got slaughtered online by a man who accused me of saint worship :) Poor guy was trying to save me from damnation and sent me a flurry of comments.

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  30. LF,
    Good one... wish I had thought of that :)

    Too bad you don't have a followers list because I had to place you in my sidebar instead.(That takes 50 extra taps on my keyboard you know.) I enjoyed your blog.

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  31. Sorry about that :)
    (But thank you at the same time)
    LF

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  32. LF,
    It's okay, I needed a little exercise anyway :)

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