Mwah...pacher...wewewewe

No, I'm not giving a lesson in tongues.

If only that was it.

Today, I went to Mass and received Communion. After everyone went back to their pews, I heard a strange repetitive noise. A young boy (around 4 or 5) had fallen asleep and was snoring loud enough to wake the dead. This is a small, quiet, chapel and usually very silent after Communion. I struggled to maintain my dignity but as the sound of the child "sawing logs" interspersed with squeaking sounds grew...so did my hilarity. I burst in peals of laughter and could not stop. Pretending to have a coughing and sneezing fit didn't work either. (This is my old standby in situations like these.) I begged the Lord to "make it stop, oh please, make it stop". Not a chance. He was busy with more important stuff like making sure a tired boy got his zzzz's in. The more I tried to smother the laughter the worse it became. I gained control by the time Father gave the final blessing but on the way out of the church the man seated behind me looked right at me, winked, and had a huge grin on his face.

No one said a word, thankfully. Sometimes, if I can keep the laughter silent enough and I can cover my face with my hands, I can pretend I'm crying.

I'm not sure I inherited the gene of "laughing at totally inappropriate moments" from my mom or my dad. (I think my dad is the culprit.) The majority of time, these giggling fits take place either during solemn ceremonies or in overflowing elevators where there is complete silence. You know, someone will "let one go" loudly and the Lord seems determined that I should take the blame for each and every one of these incidents. It's the bane of my existence. If the giggling mechanism is set off, I'm done for. The shoulder shaking and the strange choking noises I make are always a dead give-a-way. I always want to shout, "It wasn't me! I swear!"

 I get back at the Lord for allowing this by "offering it up".

Anyone have any advice?

Please don't say, "Grow up!" I can't seem to do that. And no, "Think morbid thoughts." That doesn't work either. I've left the Church on occasion but in small chapels I am pinned by people on both sides.

Is there a saint for this?

And no, I am not joking.

I've asked the Lord to "make it stop" since I was a child and He never has.

Victor? I know you've had this "difficulty" before? What's your secret? Spill it, please.

Anyone?


PS (Don't you dare comment on the elevator incident at Disney World if you read this, dear brother of mine... I WILL delete it. Besides, you set me off. No mentioning the funeral incident, either, because that was your fault too. Comments aren't allowed by family members on this post. You either, Kath. No beach church comments either - I'm still mortified over that one. Randy, that means you too. You have no idea what it's like right after giving birth when your body disobeys you at will and I didn't ASK the baby to spit the pacifier out. You could have done the right thing and picked it up yourself you know. That WOULD have been the gentlemanly thing to do. Poor girls behind us had to leave the church.)