Well, I think it may possibly be because I have ADHD of the spirit. I get so excited about having tresses of gold that I forget about the stresses of old and the lessons this stress over hair woes has taught me.
Overheard in heaven:
Guardian Angel: "Lord, there's not a chance she'll do it again."
Jesus: "You think not? Isn't that her car pulling into the salon parking lot right now?"
St. Peter (rolling his eyes): Oh, yeah, that's her! I'd recognize that mousy colored hair anywhere."
Jesus: "What's wrong with the color brown anyway? The mice seem perfectly satisfied with it."
Guardian Angel: "Problem is - she's not a mouse. You know how vain some women are about their hair; the problem is that she's been doing this for twenty years. Why won't she learn?"
Jesus: "Patience, patience. Let us not forget that she's in my 'no child left behind program' for slow learners. I think I know a way to lessen her vanity."
Guardian Angel: "Oh Lord! Please, not the hair falling out thing again! She looked like a porcupine for months and it upset her so much! Plus, it didn't work!"
Jesus: "No, no, nothing that harsh this time. Those salon lights are very deceiving, when she walks out into the sunshine and looks at her hair in the car mirror I think this will finally take care of the vanity problem once and for all."
St. Peter: "You know what really gets me, Lord? After each hair catastrophe she actually has the gall to offer it up as suffering! Like you'd accept something so pitiful! How can you allow this to keep happening knowing what she's going to do afterward. Sheesh!"
Jesus (with a grin) : "Ah, Peter, Peter, Peter, do you not know me by now? That's EXACTLY why I allow this to keep happening. Beside, I'm answering another prayer of hers at the same time, after THIS salon visit she'll truly be a beacon of light to others!"
Guardian Angel (after spotting Mrs. Vanity Calamity leaving the salon): YIKES!
Snicker. Well, on the bright side, I don't have pumpkin head or spaghetti head. (Note key words here - on the bright side.) It doesn't matter anyway as I'm due to go to the beach next month. I'll be a shoe-in for that lighthouse job I read about. If their lights go out I'll just stand at the top and spin. Trust me - the ships will have plenty of light to guide them to shore.
Here is a bit of advice on hair correction after mishaps:
Purple shampoo (John Frieda puts one out) DOES help brassiness. L'oreal has a brass remover also. For those whose hair has been over lightened a toner can help and Fanci Full puts out temporary rinses that help too.
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