Cutting to the Quick

Hmmm...maybe I should make this Novena perpetual? 

When I first returned to the Lord years ago I made sure I did everything right. I was on a mission to become a saint. On the fast track to success (cough, cough, groan, groan). Mass, the sacraments, many prayers - I took great care to do it all and to do it all well. But it was fear-driven and very performance related. I mean, it bordered on compulsive. I felt like I had to make up for the sins of my past and unfortunately chose quantity over quality, thinking that more was better. After all, we are raised in a culture that focuses on this kind of productivity and I had learned my lesson well. 

Nearly drove the Lord nuts with my verbosity. Drove everyone else nuts too, I'm sure.

Did I ever tell you about my attempts at completing that series of prayers in The Pieta by St.  Bridget? You know, the ones that take a year to complete? Well, God and I wrestled together over these particular prayers for a long time.

 He had determined that I should not complete them. 

I, on the other hand, had determined that I should.

Guess who won? 

Think about it. Page one of the Heavenly Herald almost read:                          

 God Loses Patience and Hurls Lightning Bolt at Woman with Spiritual ADHD. Claims "it was the only way to shut her up!" Woman Survives to Tell the Story. 

Mary N., a woman from Fatted Calf Creek, Wyoming, claims God hurled a lightning bolt at her while she sat in the park reading  aloud from a prayer book called "The Pieta". The woman said she was on her 59th day of a year long novena and thinking about making it a perpetual one when lightning shot down from a cloudless sky and set her book on fire. Mrs. N. was taken to Mt Sinai Hospital for observation but was released after doctors determined that the woman was unharmed except for her bruised pride.  

Thus began the first cutting. I have been under the Divine knife ever since. It was (and is) so constant that I began to feel a bit embarrassed by the depths of my "fallenness".

I mean, it was so bad that I started getting witnesses in the spirit every time I read the line "Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest, I am He Whom thou seekest!" (A line from one of my favorite poems by Francis Thompson.)

I couldn't even read poetry in peace.

And it was the "fondest, blindest, weakest" part that that would shoot that bolt of Divine electricity through me.

Blindest? Weakest? 

Ouch. 

It is so hard for us to see ourselves this way. As blind and weak. There I was thinking I had reached the heights of sanctity after six months of prayer and...

"And whatchoo mean you have to perform more surgery, Lord? I haven't even recovered from the last bout!"

Every area of my life was being inspected by the Divine Eye. Or so it seemed.

"Look, Lord! Over there! See that guy eating an entire bag of Cheetos? You better get right on it!"

And much was found lacking.

"Boy, we don't get a lick of privacy down here, do we Lord?"

(Honestly, I don't speak to the Lord this way, folks. Seriously. Thoughts like these just tend to pop into my head unannounced when I get caught with my hand in the ole cookie jar. Which was constantly back then despite my attempts at mastering pharisaism single-handedly. Or perhaps because of it. But, not to worry, the Lord had a quick cure for that. Painful but quick.)

(That would be: quick in God's eyes. Long and painful in my own.) 

It's so important for God to cut that false piety from us.  A piety that keeps us depending (and focusing) on ourselves instead of the Lord. Sometimes we must see the depths of our weakness before we are able to relinquish control of our lives to the Lord. I see now that my fierce determination to finish those Pieta prayers stemmed from a belief that I could save myself.  We must understand that we need salvation and that salvation comes from outside of ourselves. 

Sometimes the only way this can be made clear to us is by showing us the truth about ourselves. 

Because only by seeing this can we stop relying on ourselves. It's a harsh and painful lesson at times.

(Let's make that "brutal", shall we?)

We cannot receive God's strength if we don't give up our own. When we understand that what we cling to is a phantom strength we can let go more quickly.

God isn't interested in a mere pseudo-transformation. It's not enough for the outside to look good. No, the Holy Spirit cuts deep into our spirits in a surgery so profound that the mere mortal mind cannot grasp its depth. This divine surgery is an amazing miracle of grace and love, imperative to our existence and without which life would cease to exist. Of such gravity is the depths of our fallen nature that only God can infuse life where sin has sown the seed of death. One of the most pitiable, yet endearing quality about the human condition is our naivete when it comes to sin. We truly do not understand how evil it is. We may have an inkling but we don't fully understand it, do we?

Think about the mercy of this.

The pure, unadulterated mercy of it:

"Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."

Mercy - Limited or Not?

Robert la Longe - Sacred Heart of Jesus

Does mercy have a limit?

Yes and no. Mercy is limitless on God's end, it is on our end that mercy has it limits. In other words, mercy is limited by the narrowness and constriction of our own hearts. God's mercy has no limit but we can limit the expression of God's mercy by saying no to it. God is willing to forgive all of our sins but...

(There's always a but, isn't there?)

... we have to forgive others as well.

When we pray the Our Father we say, "Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against us." We see here that forgiving others is one of the conditions for receiving mercy. We have to forgive others if we want to be forgiven ourselves. At the very least, the desire to forgive must be present, Jesus will help with the rest. Desire is a great thing - it leaves a large opening for God to work with.

Not forgiving others means that we want them to be held bound for their sins against us. The wound was too large, too brutal, too cruel to ever be repaired, how can I forgive?  This holding bound their sins in turn holds us bound to our own sins while at the same time it binds us in a negative way to the very person we refuse to forgive!

How can that be?! I mean, they did this brutal terrible thing and I could reap what THEY sowed? Huh?

Doesn't seem to make sense, does it?

Until we realize that unforgiveness has the potential to be one of the worst sins of all. It is not a quality from God. Ever. It has one source and the source is evil. According to St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, evil is defined as "the absence of good". So, technically evil is not a something, it is an absence of something. In the case of  sin (of unforgiveness or any sin) it is the absence of virtue to some degree or another. For instance, satan is evil because there is no good in him. He is virtueless. We, on the other hand, are kind of a mixed bag...lol.

The definition of evil as the absence of good is an important observation because it helps us understand how to overcome both the sins of others against us and the sin we see in ourselves. For the first, we would ask for the grace to forgive, as well as the virtue of love and humility to battle against the lack of love and the pride which leads to unforgiveness. For the second, we would pray for and practice the opposing virtues of whatever vices we are trying to rid ourselves of.

Unforgiveness can lead to a hardening of the heart and if this potential for hardening is fulfilled to its ultimate capacity its end result could be the complete and utter hardening of the human heart, which grace can no longer pierce because the person has refused to allow it to be pierced. It's a total turning away from God, a refusal to love AND a refusal OF love.

In some ways, unforgiveness, if held to the end of life is worse than murder. Why? Because  unforgiveness is basically the intent to impose spiritual death. This is the spiritual intent which lies beneath unforgiveness - that a person should reap what they sowed for all eternity. Though we may not see it as such, it is an attempt to usurp the authority of God whose mercy is given to all who ask with sincere hearts. It is an attempt to usurp the justice of God as well. It aligns us with "the accuser of our brethren" instead of aligning us with the Lord, who is rich in mercy.

Unforgiveness is saying to another, "You are not worthy of mercy."

God says otherwise.




"My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of My goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace."                (The Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska)



(This post has a second part because it was too long to post all at once. With Lent coming up I thought mercy versus unforgiveness would be a fitting subject to write about. The second part speaks a bit more about the importance of forgiveness and delves into what the Catechism teaches about it.)

Stealing Heaven

Christ and the Good Thief - Titian

Alas, dear Christ, the dragon is here again.
Alas, he is here: terror has seized me, and fear.
Alas, that I ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge.
Alas, that his envy led me to envy too.
I did not become like God; I was cast out of Paradise.
Temper, sword, awhile, the heat of your flames
and let me go again about the garden,
entering with Christ, a thief from another tree.

             St. Gregory


Who can help but love St. Dismas, the "good thief" who stole heaven with one simple, heartfelt sentence: Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom. 

I've always thought that the story of St. Dismas reflects the true depth and beauty of God's mercy. During times of trouble, I often repeat the words he spoke to Jesus to remind myself of the greatness of God's love for his people.

God bless all the "wicked saints"  whose great witness to God's mercy reaches into the hearts of  poor sinners everywhere.  They are a  reminder to us that we should never lose hope - that conversion is possible, even into the last moments of someone's life. We all have people in our lives who seem to have little to no interest in God and maybe some of us have lost hope that they can change, but this should never be the case. True conversion is always possible and our prayers can help.

I remind you, My daughter, that as often as you hear the clock strike the third hour, immerse yourself completely in My mercy, adoring and glorifying it; invoke its omnipotence for the whole world, and particularly for poor sinners; for at that moment mercy was opened wide for every soul. In this hour you can obtain everything for yourself and for others for the asking; it was the hour of grace for the whole world - mercy triumphed over justice.    (Jesus to St. Faustina, The Diary of St. M. Faustina Kowalska - 1572)




           

Living Streams of Mercy

I started this blog 3 years ago during the month devoted to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I did this on purpose because His Heart draws me like a magnet. I named this blog "The Beautiful Gate" because I am a "crippled beggar" who sits continuously at the Beautiful Gate of His Sacred Heart. I was once given the precious gift of seeing the Living Rays which pour forth from the Heart of Jesus. I am not a fancy writer and cannot find words that do justice to the unfathomable mercy of His Heart but on the feast of the Sacred Heart I'd like to say this:

Whenever you go to Adoration you are bathing in the Living Rays of Love and Mercy which flow from the Heart of the  Resurrected Christ. I am utterly aware of this when I go before the Blessed Sacrament. Though I can't see these Living Rays anymore, my soul knows without a doubt that this is exactly what is happening. 

This is what happens to you, too. May Christ be my witness to this truth.

"The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls. These two rays issued forth from the depths of My tender mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross. Happy is the one who will dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him (299). By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without works." ( Diary of St. Faustina, 742)

"But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead,

they did not break his legs,

but one soldier thrust his lance into his side,

and immediately blood and water flowed out."     (Jn 19: 33,34)

Jesus, thank you for giving us Your Heart.

Utterly Encompassed

You are utterly encompassed by God. He is in you, around you, beside you, above you, below you. This is the total truth. We have become blinded to such a degree that most of us have lost this sense of His Presence. The eyes of our souls have dimmed to an alarming degree and there are those who have absolutely no sense of God's presence whatsoever.

And yet He is ever there. Always. You could not even take a breath without Him.

Imagine this:

A human person is totally surrounded by and caught up in the love of God and yet completely unaware of this Divine Presence. Why? We are taught as children that God is love and He is everywhere. We are taught about the indwelling of the Trinity. So, why?

What happens to a person that causes them to lose this sense of God's love?

Sin happens. The eyes of the soul darken and grow dim from lack of light. Our spirit dulls. The duller our spirit grows the less aware we become of God and the more aware we become of ourselves. Not a healthy awareness of ourselves as existing in God, for God, and with God, but an unhealthy awareness that has negative effects on both ourselves and others.

Enter the kingdom of "me, myself, and I". This is the name of the kingdom where most of us exist (to lesser or greater degree) these days. Maybe not everyone, but certainly the majority. You can ask how someone can be so certain that this is the truth and my answer will be very simple:

"By their fruits you will know them." (Mt 7:16) I am not being pessimistic. I know God has things well in hand. But the simple truth is that if we look around us we can see that humanity, on the whole, is producing some very bitter fruit indeed. Yes, there are those who are producing good fruit but the majority of us are off kilter in some way that's hard to pinpoint completely. In some aspects, I think part of the problem is that we don't put God first in our lives. We think we do, but we don't really. We think of things from the perspective, "How will this affect me, personally?" We become the center of our own universe and  whenever this happens, the result is suffering. Whether upon ourselves or others, if we don't acknowledge the fact that God is the source of all good and the center of existence, well...we bring suffering upon each other. This is part and parcel of living in the kingdom of "me, myself, and I".

In reality, there is only one kingdom. And that is God's. Because we have free will God allows us to live in our pretend kingdoms if we choose to but these kingdoms have no basis in reality. Eventually these kingdoms fall because they have to. In the sentences below I am speaking about a state of being and not necessarily a final destination. I am simply saying that God certainly gives us plenty of hints as to how we are doing. For instance, I know I am in a state of purgation right now and have been for years.  Yet, in this state I get tastes of Heaven too. God is good.

If these false worlds we create don't fall?  Hell happens. Why? Because it is a refusal of God's Kingdom over our own.


If they partially fall?  Purgatory

If they do fall completely?

Heaven reigns in our hearts.


In Him we live and move and have our being. (See Acts17:22-31)

Bared - pt.1

Back in October I wrote a post titled, "What if things are worst than we think?" and I'd like to address this subject and give some of my reasons for writing it:

 Over the years one of my biggest prayers has been, "Lord, grant me the light to see the truth about myself and the truth about this world we are living in." I have always had this certainty that we are WAY off kilter these days and that our spiritual perspective is skewed. I've never known what to do with this sense of  the world being off course in a significant way, despite tackling the issue in prayer over and over and over again. "What is going on here, Lord?! Please show me the truth. I cannot live here like this knowing that things are so awry and yet being unable to pinpoint what troubles my spirit so much. Please, Lord! Help me!"

Well, I'm sure you've all heard the saying, "Be careful what you pray for because you just might get it. " I GOT IT alright and there's a teeny part of me that wishes I had never asked. I had no clue that it would cause me more suffering in some ways and that I would have a tough time coming to grips with it. I have spoken a lot about the physical healing I received but less so about the spiritual one. The spiritual healing actually began a month or two before the physical and continued for months afterward. I walked around feeling as if my soul was completely bared to the Lord. Like Eve stripped of her fig leaf. And it was painful. Excruciatingly so. Why? One of the reasons is that I had compromised with the world to a degree. After all, I had to live here. Though I have made tremendous progress over the years and this pleased the Lord, there are areas where I was still compromising the truth. In my defense, I often did this because I hate hurting people. There's so much suffering in the world today that I couldn't stand adding to anyone's pain. Even in my writing I would hold back to a degree for fear of causing anyone hurt. I  found myself "toning down" what the Lord laid on my heart to spare others pain or fear. This is one of the reasons I take time off regularly now, it gives me extra time in prayer and allows the Lord to give me an "adjustment" in my thinking. In posting about the serious times we live in, the key isn't to say "Well, okay, maybe things aren't so bad after all."  The key is to be truthful about this era and remind people that God is yearning to show them a better way. "Dying" to show us a better way is probably more appropriate when you consider that this is exactly what He did. It's about revealing his mercy without soft-soaping the reason why we are so in need of this mercy. The reason we need his mercy is SIN, plain and simple. You can't sugarcoat sin - though we certainly do try.

If the Lord had only revealed my own sinfulness I might have borne it better than I did. After all, this was something I could correct with his grace. What caused me tremendous grief was seeing the sin I was surrounded with in the world at the same time. I cannot force others to correct their own lives. Every person has the free will to choose right or wrong and, unfortunately, much of the world is on the wrong path right now. My consolation is the understanding that God is at work correcting this because He loves us very much.

The sense of being surrounded by sin (while still having to deal with your own) is extremely painful. I can't help but be glad that the Lord lifted this from me when it became too much to bear. But I know it's still there  hidden from my senses. As much grief as this has brought me, I can't disregard what a  tremendous grace this also is as it brings clarity about sin, especially ones that are hard to discern such as false compassion and the little (and big) ways in which we compromise the truth in our world today.  It doesn't take a great deal of discernment to see that this world has gone off path so I'm not absolutely sure why many people are unaware of this fact. Not only are many unaware, but many people EMBRACE the world today and consider the human race "enlightened".

Scary, our ability to deceive ourselves.

God have mercy.

Dethroning the god of self

I have been terribly hard on myself over the course of my life. Often, unmercifully so. For most of my life I had the bad habit of  "critiquing" each step I made, judging and over analyzing everything. It was like living with my own interior judge and jury. Not pleasant, let me tell you, since this judge and jury never took a break. Afraid of the devil? Who me? Worry about the "Accuser"? As if I had the time for him when I was so busy accusing myself! I didn't have much trouble being compassionate with others. I had difficulty being compassionate with myself.

After having myself as judge and jury for most of my life it sure was a relief when God started taking over the job. The funny thing is that I relinquished the reigns slowly. Did I think I was doing a better job than the King of Mercy would? Talk about pride! I'm not exactly sure what I was thinking. I think it had (and has) more to do with:

Pride and dethroning the god of self. Sooner or later everyone must get rid of the false gods they have set up for themselves. And the most difficult one to boot off the throne is the god of self. It's been a problem since the Garden of Eden and is certainly a huge problem today. Those who think they have escaped this aspect of the Fall are deceiving themselves. One of the biggest obstacles to becoming a saint is thinking you are one. The saints didn't think they were saints; they understood the depths of their fallen nature and their total dependency on God's mercy.

GOD'S mercy. Not their own. We are not as merciful as God. Not with ourselves, nor with others. Yes, many people have compassionate hearts but it cannot be compared to God's. Not even close. We can judge actions but not people. And this includes ourselves.Even when we prepare for Confession we are to ask for the light of the Holy Spirit and see our sins in HIS light, not our own. After all, we are going to Confession to confess our sins, not to confess our human nature. God is fully aware of our brokenness and seeks to HEAL us not to condemn us.

Those who "pick" on themselves are playing God. It's like saying to God, "I know what's wrong with me more than you do." Which isn't true, of course. He knows us through and through. The difference between when we try to accuse ourselves and when the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin is like night and day. Some of the signs to watch out for are these:

Scrupulosity - Been there, done that. Definitely not of God.
Confusion over sins - The Holy Spirit brings clarity. (Been here, too)
Despair or hopelessness - Satan's doing the accusing here. (Yep, here too)
Depression - This is an odd one. Obviously there are cases of physical depression, too, so this is a bit harder to discern. For those who don't normally battle depression this can be a good sign that we are trying to "outrun" the Holy Spirit rather than waiting for His light. (ditto)
Frustration - "This is ridiculous! It's impossible not to sin!"  Well, of course. And God well knows this. Even the saints fell. (Need I comment?)

The Holy Spirit brings true sorrow...then peace.

Sins of the past

My past, O Lord, to your mercy; my present, to your love; my future, to your Providence!

                                                                                         St. Padre Pio

Life is a series of present moments. The past is just a shadow of the present and the future has not arrived yet, so the "here and now" is all anyone can count on with any certainty. Sanctifying each of these present moments, by living in the Divine Will, is our job here on this earth. We may at times fail in this duty but we should not let this discourage us, nor should we dwell on it except to try and see what we can learn from our mistakes. It helps to look at the past as a teacher; we can reflect on what it has taught us without getting caught in its traps. The traps, whether it's focusing on sins you may have committed or on how others have sinned against you, can lead to despair if we dwell on them too much. For those who are discouraged by past sins, it's best to leave it in the hands of Jesus. I have learned this the hard way, of course! Hopefully, my words can help others not make the same mistake. By placing the past in the hands of Jesus, I do not mean to suggest that counseling is not helpful. Often, counseling can help those who have suffered traumas and can speed up the healing process. A third party can often put things into perspective better than we can on our own. It's okay to acknowledge our hurts as long as we don't make them our primary focus by constantly reliving them. In this post I'm talking more about sin in general , not about extremely traumatic experiences.

Satan exists, though he would prefer us to think that he doesn't. This makes his job much easier because he knows we won't gear up for battle if we don't believe there is an enemy. Satan has an army and this army will use any weapon it can to attack us at our weak points if we allow it. One tactic that he uses is to try to keep us living in a past that no longer exists. The Blood of Christ covers the past, to doubt this is to doubt the power of His saving blood. Wounds heal if left to God's mercy. We can see this in our physical bodies, and the physical is a reflection of the spiritual. If we constantly "pick" at a wound, it continues to bleed. It's better to leave it alone and to focus on the present battle while trusting the Divine Physician to take care of our wounds.

It takes guts to face Jesus, admit our sinfulness (or to forgive the sins of those who have harmed us) and then move on. To do this requires not only looking at oneself squarely in the face but also looking God in the eye and saying, "Yes, Lord, I was wrong and I'm sorry." Humans like to be right, after all (lol). To forgive others we must see that our own nature is as prone to sinfulness as theirs. The degree of sin may differ but the tendency to sin is the same since we all have fallen natures. When we refuse to forgive others we condemn ourselves. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice. We choose to forgive with our will, not our emotions. Emotions cannot always be trusted and can hold us back if we let them rule us. They are good but they are subject to us and we should should not be subject to them.

We may end up with some battle scars in life but at least we can say we had the courage to enter the battle arena. Our scars are our badges of honor and scar tissue is tougher than regular skin. Life's tests make us stronger if we let them. We take our memories, both good and bad, into the present with us. And while the past may be a nice place to visit on occasion...I wouldn't want to live there.

Come as you are

We have to come before God just as we are. He wants us to do this. It gives Him great pleasure when we entrust our sinful selves to his care. He can clean up sinners... He's been doing it for years. When we humbly admit our faults and failures and invite Him into our hearts He immediately begins clean-up duty. Who does He have difficulty cleaning up? Not sinners. No way.

A far greater obstacle for God is when people think they are not sinners. "I'm a good person. I'm nothing like that guy over there passed out on the sidewalk. Get a job, you bum!"

I wouldn't be surprised if the person passed out on the sidewalk was in better shape spiritually than someone that speaks like this. I'm not saying that this is the case, I'm just saying that I wouldn't be surprised. I once saw a man who was sleeping on the sidewalk. I was worried and shook him until he woke up because I thought he might need medical attention. He was very sweet and gentle. Told me that he was an alcoholic, had passed out, and that his head was killing him. We spoke about God,  family, and food :)  He believed in God and wanted to stop drinking but "wasn't doing a very good job quitting".  Perhaps not...but he was honest. I knew God would help this man.

I watched a number of people walk by this man without giving him a second glance. These are the ones I'm praying for the most.

The Giver of gifts

Enough about the number phenomenon. I simply write about it once in a while because I know how common it is and I don't want people to always land on New Age sites when they google it. I would rather they land on a Christian site [hear my prayer, O Lord] because the New Age sites can lead people away from God rather than toward Him.

The truth is :

"What accord does Christ have with Beliar?"  2 Cor. 6:15
None, of course. Paganism and Christ do not mix. You are for one or the other. The strange names often mentioned in New Age posts are demons. They disguise themselves as angels of light but usually give themselves away at some point or other. We have to remember that a third of the angels were cast out of heaven along with Lucifer. Satan would like to draw as many souls into his web of deceit as possible. Misery loves company and Satan is miserable. A life without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit is no life at all. I say this through experience. When I was a child I was very close to the Lord, I felt surrounded by love as if I were in a "holy bubble". My guardian angel defended me very fiercely but I became hard-hearted as a teenager and lost this state of grace. Thanks to God's mercy, and a few holy spankings, I live in His grace again [my heartfelt thanks, O Lord!]  The time I spent away from Him was miserable, I don't know how I withstood it. My heart hurts for those not living a Godly life. I know their pain, I've been there. I think that this is why the Lord has given me a powerful intercessory gift. This may not sound humble, but to say otherwise would be like a slap in the Lord's face. The Lord has taught me that humility is accepting the truth with love and grace. To not admit and thank God for the gifts that He has given to us is false humility. The Lord continues to pour graces and gifts into my lap and I accept them with gratitude. I know that I have many faults to overcome but I believe that the Lord will complete this work that He has begun in me. To say otherwise is a lack of faith in the goodness and love of God. Jesus wants sinners to trust in his mercy. After all, He died on the Cross for us sinners. I won't waste this great gift.

Jesus, I trust in you! Utterly Thine, O Lord!

Beyond measure

We should never be afraid to approach the Throne Of Mercy, rather our fear should be in not appealing to God's mercy. Sinners who know they need mercy and forgiveness are always welcomed with open arms, no matter how great the sins. Those who should be afraid are those who refuse the healing of the Divine Physician or don't believe they need healing. This quote from St. Faustina's Diary helps show the depth and breadth of  Our Lord's mercy and I thought it might help those in grave sin who want to turn to God but are afraid:

"My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of My goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace."*

I pray for everyone who visits this site. I may not know who you are, but God does :)


* The Diary of St. M. Faustina Kowalska
   Marian Fathers of the Immaculate Conception
        used with permission

Mom's next post

This next segment is very difficult to put into words. It was such a special gift from God that I have only told Mary about it. It happened about 30 years ago.

I was praying in my room - actually I was praising God for all His blessings; and I began to sing. I don't remember what I was singing; but I felt as though God was drawing the praise from every cell in my body. And then I was no longer aware of time or of my surroundings, or even myself. I loved God so much that I felt a part of Him. This experience left me with a great love for God, and a love and concern for others.....a sort of patient kindness that is far greater than I am.

One of the things I do remember is this: I felt as though God was asking me for my son. I remember saying, " Lord I give you my son."  I have two sons. This has been extremely puzzling to me, as I thought I was going to have a priest in our family.  "No priest in our family as yet.)

This brings me back to the birth of two of my children. I remember not experiencing any pain during labor and delivery for my two sons.  (I had a lot of pain with the girls.) My oldest son was born in the hospital with several nurses and the doctor present in the delivery room. After the delivery of my son, the head nurse said, "If I hadn't seen this myself, I would never have believed it."


My youngest son was born at home in my bed with no one present. My husband and I were watching a movie on tv,  (the name of the movie was "Battle Cry") and I told my husband I was tired and went to bed. I got on the bed, rolled over, and my son was born. I called and called my husband to come. Finally, he did come, and I thought he was going to pass out. I told him to call my next door neighbor. She came right over and called an ambulance to take me to the hospital (because my doctor insisted).


What does all this mean? It is as puzzling to me as it will be to anybody reading this - but Mary will attest that I am sound of mind and fully fuctional!


Now, getting back to my greatest happiness -- Our Lord is so kind and loving, and He has given us the holy task of telling others of His love and care. We are here on earth for so short a time. Let's use it to tell others of His greatness and mercy.



Dorothea

The power of intercessory prayer, pt.2

Here is another post from my mother and, yes, this really happened. I also worked for this woman when my mom did. Here is her post:

This is an example of how God can use us to bless others.


I was praying with a very good friend one morning. During the prayer time, I had a very strong impression that this lady I once worked for, was in grave danger. I told my friend I had to leave and warn this lady right away. I drove to her house, and I frantically prayed, " Lord, if this is from you, please protect her life. When I got there, I rang and rang, but no one was home.

I dismissed the mental image I had, thinking I was in error. But I kept praying for her...a burning prayer.

Within a few days, I met a friend of hers and she told me this lady was in the hospital. I went to visit her. She confided to me that she and her husband had split up; and that she was living with this man she had met through friends. They had a quarrel. She was watching tv in her family room. He came to the entrance of the room, pointed a gun at her and fired. [He was about ten feet away.] She remembered putting her hands up to her face. The bullet grazed her finger, entered her jaw and went right through her shoulder. She was going to be okay, her boyfriend was arrested and jailed. He claimed it was an accident. I don't know what happened after that.

Why was I given this very strong message that her life was in danger? I assume God wanted me to warn her and pray for her. Her life was saved by a most merciful God.

Dorothea

Memere

This is another posting from my mom. It is about my grandmother's passing from this world to our heavenly home. I was blessed to be present while this was happening, she had a very peaceful death . I could feel Our Lady's presence. Here it is:

I was about to continue with the "sifting stage," but I sensed the Lord telling me to move on. ( We are sifted our whole life in one way or another.)

I did not know where to start; so Mary suggested our experience at the nursing home where Memere was staying.

One day while Mary and I were working together, I told her we had to go to the nursing home right away to pray for memere. My sister-in-law welcomed the prayer support. This was on a tuesday morning.

We prayed the rosary all day. At one point, my sister-in-law tearfully said - "When is she going to die?" I blurted out - "on Friday."

We continued praying every day from morning until evening. On Friday evening, my sister-in -law said to me, " You told me she was going to die on Friday." I said, " She is - at eight o' clock."

There were several people in the room at the time, and they heard me say the time. Even as Memere's legs changed color, her hands were still moving on the rosary beads that someone had placed in her hand. A tear rolled down her eye and Memere died exactly at 8pm on Friday. You can imagine the scene.....Everyone was crying. We said a prayer of thanksgiving to God for "His Mercy."

Now, I want to explain.... I have had many experiences of this kind. I am not a psychic or a prophet. This only happens after a whole lot of prayer and only in situations where there is a need to help another person who is suffering. I can only give what I am given.

Dorothea