Monday, January 25, 2010

Something is really bugging me, Lord

Something is really bugging me and making me feel quite lousey [oops! I mean lousy! ] We have put men on the moon and yet no one has invented a product that removes those sticky nits from hair. Oh, Yes! It's the ongoing saga of the Licewarner household [ did I really just print that?]. It has been kindly suggested to me that Noah may be to blame for this, that he jarred 2 of these critters and brought them on the ark with him. Two of everything, right folks? Says so right in the Bible. I have my own take on this, however. Since there were no glass jars back then I believe the Lord allowed them to cop a ride on Noah's bushy white hair or beard. From there they multiplied at a phenomenal rate [this is fact] and soon the entire ark was infested.

Nurse Ratchet has been helpful enough to tell me that these are simply "people fleas". Oh, please! I have 2 dogs and let me tell you you cannot compare the two. Forty loads of laundry later I can assure you that "people fleas" is a misnomer. Assuming it's against the law to boil a child, I have taken many other steps to "RID" my household of this problem. I'm simply boiling everything else :)

Speaking of boiling... "Horton Hears a Who" is now banned from my household as the endless refrain "boil that dust speck, boil that dust speck" plays over and over in my head. I also owe my patron saint for the year, St. Francis of Assisi, my heartfelt apologies. St. Francis, you may call me "The Exterminator" and I will not take offense, I promise you. I love poetry but the words, "Brother nit, sister louse" just don't have a pleasing ring to it. May you be consoled by how many people left purgatory this past week ;)

One last comment:

Lord, I love you
I tell you each day
But when I asked you to knit
I meant knit with a K!

I often ask the Lord to knit my soul to Him :)


  1. Hair conditioner, and a nit comb, each night and morning, for a week,then once a week, just to check. I know you said you didn't find the comb very good.Try to get a plastic one, they are the best, not the metal ones. I stopped using the chemicals,just conditioner which stuns the beasties whilst you comb them out.

    You can do this, you are more than able, in His strength. I know how horrible it seems, but give it a few months, you'll be posting pictures of 'em and givin 'em little cute names!!!

  2. Oh Mary I'm sorry but I am LOL here, you will see the end soon sweetie as "this too shall pass"
    I loved everything about this post and the poem is just the right touch ...... :-) Hugs

  3. Shadowlands,
    Thanks for the helpful hints. I will try

    I have to be honest, laugh as much as you want because this has given me many chuckles, too. These kinds of things don't really bother me all that much :) But I have to admit, they are tough little fellows to get rid of.

  4. Oh, and Shadowlands? Since it was your suggestion, I'll name the first one in your honor;)

  5. "Assuming it's against the law to boil a child ..."

    It said on the plastic bag of ready-meal rice I bought today, "Stand in boiling water for 5 minutes".

    I did ... and burnt my feet!

    God bless.

  6. Mary,
    I think St Francis would have even killed these nasty creatures.Glad to see you are keeping your sense of humor though- and those souls leaving purgatory are probably secretly thanking God for allowing this plague upon your house :)

  7. Victor,
    Your funny comments made me laugh so much, both the ark comment and the rice. God blessed you with a great sense of humor!

  8. Karinann,
    I don't know about that. My mom jars spiders and brings them outside so she won't have to kill them. I wrote a post when I first started blogging called, "St. Mom of Assisi." We clean a jewelry store and my mom actually told one of the managers that she didn't have the heart to kill the spider running around their breakroom. The manager said, "OK, then I'll leave him alone, too." Another time she kept a pet spider in her spare room for a month because he was too quick for her to catch :) It was one of the fat, furry kind that most woman hate :)

  9. You're welcome shadowlands :) I did what you said by the way. I loaded her head with conditioner and then used the comb just in case. I'll continue to check her and use the comb twice daily.

  10. Have you got a product called "Derbac" over there? Active ingredient is 'malathion', which kills lice and their eggs

  11. Oh Mary...I have a terrible fear of those buggers! A notice came around from school about 3 months ago....I almost didn't let my 3rd grader in the house! Thankfully, after a full inspection....his head was free of living creatures. Since then, I'm contantly inspecting their heads! Praying for you!

  12. Pip, no, but maybe I can find something similar now that I know the name of the main ingredient. I used a product called "Rid". Thanks for the info.

  13. Nancy,
    Trust me, Michaela's head is going to be inspected regularly now that I am aware how prevalent this is at the schools!

  14. Oh poor you ~ I remember it well!
    The conditioner treatment is great as it gets any remaining eggs off the hair. I would also mix neat tea tree oil in every shampoo from now on, to prevent a re-infestation and kill off anything remianing. Nice and natural, too (it must be the genuine article, melaleuca alternifolia)

    Haven't paid a visit for a while, so hello and good morning to you from England!
    Mrs.P xx

  15. No words of wisdom, no funny quips...I have no experience w/this...good luck! Saying a prayer this will soon pass!!

  16. " ... now that I am aware how prevalent this is at the schools!"

    Head lice and nits are entitled to an education too!

  17. Ha ha ha - beautiful descriptive post, Mary! :)
    Reminded me of my battles with my childrens' hair long ago (they're grown up now)

  18. How awful!
    I hope we continue to be blessed by not having them ever. I remember having my head checked several times by the nurse in grade school as a child. Wow. My mum was very harsh, "DO NOT SHARE HATS, COMBS, BRUSHES, MAKE UP, DEODORANT!!!" So, I never did. Sometimes you hug a person who has the bugs and . . . well, uff da!

  19. Mrs. Pogle,
    Thanks for the visit and the great advice! I do happen to have some tea tree oil on hand and will give this a try :)

  20. Victor,
    Funny! Your comments lift my spirits. Perhaps you know of a local school near YOU? ;)

  21. Gabriella,
    Hopefully, this will be the last time!

  22. Sarah,
    I told you it was worse than bird doo-doo!

  23. This is by FAR the FUNNIEST post I have ever read! God bless you! I remember being younger, I was the oldest child, and my two younger sisters got lice from the ZOO of all places!!! Yes, the monkeys tossed a comb to my middle sister, who combed her hair and handed it to the smaller sister in the stroller! Both got the lice and I had to keep going to the Savon Pharmacy to get the magic shampoo and the finest comb sold to help my sisters get every nit out! At that time in life, I was so ashamed to tell anyone that my sisters had lice! It is rough to go through...but many of us have! So glad you posted this :)

  24. Mary B.,
    Feel blessed that you never had to undergo this plague! Thank you for your prayers:)

  25. Daily Grace,
    The Zoo?!! A monkey tossed them a comb?!! Now THAT'S the funniest thing I have ever heard! I posted it on purpose so that I could offer it up as an act of humility;)