Well, I think it may possibly be because I have ADHD of the spirit. I get so excited about having tresses of gold that I forget about the stresses of old and the lessons this stress over hair woes has taught me.
Overheard in heaven:
Guardian Angel: "Lord, there's not a chance she'll do it again."
Jesus: "You think not? Isn't that her car pulling into the salon parking lot right now?"
St. Peter (rolling his eyes): Oh, yeah, that's her! I'd recognize that mousy colored hair anywhere."
Jesus: "What's wrong with the color brown anyway? The mice seem perfectly satisfied with it."
Guardian Angel: "Problem is - she's not a mouse. You know how vain some women are about their hair; the problem is that she's been doing this for twenty years. Why won't she learn?"
Jesus: "Patience, patience. Let us not forget that she's in my 'no child left behind program' for slow learners. I think I know a way to lessen her vanity."
Guardian Angel: "Oh Lord! Please, not the hair falling out thing again! She looked like a porcupine for months and it upset her so much! Plus, it didn't work!"
Jesus: "No, no, nothing that harsh this time. Those salon lights are very deceiving, when she walks out into the sunshine and looks at her hair in the car mirror I think this will finally take care of the vanity problem once and for all."
St. Peter: "You know what really gets me, Lord? After each hair catastrophe she actually has the gall to offer it up as suffering! Like you'd accept something so pitiful! How can you allow this to keep happening knowing what she's going to do afterward. Sheesh!"
Jesus (with a grin) : "Ah, Peter, Peter, Peter, do you not know me by now? That's EXACTLY why I allow this to keep happening. Beside, I'm answering another prayer of hers at the same time, after THIS salon visit she'll truly be a beacon of light to others!"
Guardian Angel (after spotting Mrs. Vanity Calamity leaving the salon): YIKES!
Snicker. Well, on the bright side, I don't have pumpkin head or spaghetti head. (Note key words here - on the bright side.) It doesn't matter anyway as I'm due to go to the beach next month. I'll be a shoe-in for that lighthouse job I read about. If their lights go out I'll just stand at the top and spin. Trust me - the ships will have plenty of light to guide them to shore.
Here is a bit of advice on hair correction after mishaps:
Purple shampoo (John Frieda puts one out) DOES help brassiness. L'oreal has a brass remover also. For those whose hair has been over lightened a toner can help and Fanci Full puts out temporary rinses that help too.
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Oh sweet Mary you are priceless....I am sure your hair looks just fine....:-)Hugs
ReplyDeleteOr not :)
ReplyDeleteHugs to you too, Bernie!
Nothing wrong with bright hair!
ReplyDeleteWill you be posting a picture?
God bless.
Mary you are a pretty lady and your hair is lovely
ReplyDeleteVictor,
ReplyDeleteA picture? Errrr....maybe! Lol!
JBR,
ReplyDeleteThank you :) Once, many years ago my hair actually did come out in big chunks from fooling with it too much - it was so funny! I had short stubbles poking out all over the place among the rest of my long hair. Hee!Hee!
Mary~you gave me a good chuckle tonight. Great post...from one highlighter to another : )
ReplyDelete~Theresa
Theresa,
ReplyDeleteI can't quite figure out why mine never comes out right. Both my sisters, my niece, and many of my friends have this done and it looks great and my hair ALWAYS comes out weird. Lol! It's the strangest thing and it's not like getting your hair highlighted is cheap either. Oh well! I guess I have to grin and bear it! Have you ever had it come out awful?
Hi Mary. I just love this post! I bet you don't look that bad. It always looks worse in our own mirror.
ReplyDeleteI remember years ago, having my hair cut really short and spiky. I met a friend at the shopping centre and she said, "Sue! You are brave!" Then I knew immediately that what she really meant was, "Sue, you look awful!" It took months to grow my hair out and now I am very unadventurous - the same hair style for years! I am no longer very brave. God bless you, Mary!
Oh, Mary...I so relate to wanting/NEEDING highlights! I love this post. You are so funny!
ReplyDeleteI am very fortunate to have a hairdresser who knows my head...for many years : ) I get mine frosted (pulls through a cap) instead of foiled and she doesn't charge me full price or I could never afford it. I don't know if trying that would help?
ReplyDeleteSue,
ReplyDeleteActually, it is pretty bad :) It's so weird looking that everybody is pretending not to notice including my husband and daughter - not one word out of their mouths nor any other family member. Aren't they sweet? My family doesn't like to hurt my feelings! Lol!
God bless you too, Sue!
Hi Mary! I can laugh at myself now (unlike my earlier years when stuff like this upset me very much). I guess I'm used to it!
ReplyDeleteTheresa,
ReplyDeleteYou know what? Years ago I used to have it done that way too and I don't remember being displeased with it like I am now. The problem with the foiling seems to be that they are taking too big chunks of hair to foil so it looks unnatural. I swear that my hair looked better when my husband used to do it! And, yes, he's even done the cap method, though he probably won't be too thrilled that I'm announcing it to everybody ;) I'll hear about it later (snicker)!
Mary, sorry to hear of your latest hair misadventure. I get my colored by pulling through a cap and it works great. I've had the same hairdresser since 1993 and I get mine colored about every four months because it hides the thinness on top.
ReplyDeleteBarb,
ReplyDeleteThis is what I may end up doing, also!