Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A working dilemma

I'm not really giving up cleaning for Lent [though I'd like to] because my  mom wouldn't have any help at work. My mom and I are kind of stuck. She is 71, but pretty healthy. Still, cleaning all day must be hard for her. She has to keep working because my dad's medications and medical bills run into the thousands each month, so she carries a Medigap policy through her cleaning company. These policies cost around $10,000 a year.  No work = no coverage. When she retires - so will I [from cleaning, at least]  but she is trying to last as long as possible [ and so am I]. Sometimes I wonder how long I can continue to clean for a living, it's a peaceful job but very hard on my body. One of the reason that my house is messy so much is that by the time that I get out of work my energy is far past spent. They say "Cleanliness is next to Godliness". Not so. At least in my case. Would it be better for me to keep my own house spotless? To do that I would have to give up working and my mother would have to work twice as long. I've weighed the two - my illness against her age- and so far her age wins. Her knees are pretty spent from all these years of working. She raised 5 kids through thick and thin and her knees and hands bore the brunt of it. She barely ever complains though I know that she has to get up 2 hours early for her muscles to warm up enough to work. She tells me that God gives her the grace to continue and she is going to work as long as possible. As for me, I'm not sure how much longer I can last doing this. It leaves me in quite a quandary. I have been praying for God's will in this area but I am having trouble discerning it. For now, I am just leaving it in His hands. Things tend to work out on their own if they are placed there. But if anyone has any helpful advice, I'm all ears :)

13 comments:

  1. Mary, there must be a way for this to work out for everyone, you can enjoy having a clean home, your mom can enjoy having someone help her so that both of your health isn't sacrificed.....prayer and leaving it in God's hands is great but we must use our free will as well and make good choices. What about your siblings and their spouses....can they help? Do they have teenagers who could pitch in to help either one of you, what about friends or neighbours even people from your church. You both need help Mary and I am sure there must be a solution to this problem......I wish I were closer so I could give a turn, breaking it up so each person only has a turn once a week or so will make it easier for those who may want to help. Saying tons of prayers for you both.........:-0 Hugs

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  2. no advice, but praying you will be able to discern His will

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  3. Mary,
    Thank you, prayers always help :)

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  4. Mary..If I lived closer..you could count on me to help you! Oh how I want to give up cleaning for Lent too! I just wish I could stick to not complaining! Sometimes, I think I get the wrong attitude about Lent....I mean, shouldn't I give up complaining ALL the time...not just during LENT? But, I digress. Sorry.
    Are there any teenagers at your parish looking for Confirmation service hours? Even if the help someone else could provide wasn't permanent...it might give you and your mom a much needed rest.
    God will work this out....I promise. I know the souls in purgatory thank you!

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  5. Bernie,
    Thanks, Bernie, I believe you would help if you lived near me :) I know something will work out, I just have to be patient. My sisters both work and have families, too. My younger sister is a nurse plus one of her kids is only five - she has her hands full. My older sister lives half an hour away, works, and has a family, too. My brothers both work, one travels all week and lives an hour away. My other brother helps my parents out as much as he can. The truth is that my mom can't afford to retire though we know that someday she will have no choice. It's funny - you would think as bad as the economy is that people would want a job but it is very hard to keep employees in the cleaning business. Some people think it's too hard, others think that it's beneath them. The funniest thing is: My mom offers to come over and help me clean! I don't take her up on it because I know how tired she is :) [She pretends that she isn't but the exhaustion on her face tells the story.]Today, Randy and Michaela said they would try to help more until something works out, I explained to them the trouble I was having. Maybe that will help a bit. God bless you, Bernie!

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  6. Oh Mary, I know just how you feel. I wish I had some words of wisdom but all I have to offer is prayer. No way can I clean my house. We have somebody come from the county office on aging about every week for a couple of hours to help with the housework. I do what I can working with her, and so does my husband.

    Your poor mom is racking up treasures in heaven. It is so hard to need medicine or supplements and not be able to afford them. My aim this Lent is to work on trusting in God and not worrying. Very hard for a professional worrier! God bless you.

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  7. Nancy,
    I could help you on my good days and you could help me on yours :) I think I would do okay with one or the other - it's both put together that I'm having difficulty with. I never thought about teenagers looking for confirmation hours, that's an idea.

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  8. Barb,
    I know that you can relate to this post very well. It must be very difficult for you. Your prayers are kindly appreciated and please know that you are in mine, also.

    My mom is wonderful but she pushes herself too hard [ I guess she doesn't have much choice, my dad can't work - he can barely walk], I get worried that she will get hurt, her knees are bad. She deserves to retire and this is what makes me sad, but my dad has multiple illnesses and is on a lot of meds. If she stopped they wouldn't be able to pay for them. They are so expensive that the medigap policy is necessary. I'm guessing they run a couple thousand a month but I'm not sure. Obviously, it's cheaper for her to keep the policy though it costs so much. I am praying for a solution to all this. If it was just me involved it would be easier to work out but I have to take her situation into consideration and my dad is in far worse shape than both of us put together.

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  9. Thanks for listening everyone. Writing down my worries helps me for some reason...having kind people comment back lifts my spirit :) God bless you!

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  10. Just stop by before falling off to sleep as I have you on my mind, I so want you and your mom's problems to work out.
    Said a decade of the Rosary for you both tonight....sorry,I will include your dad tomorrow night.
    Take care sweetie, wish there were something I could do for you both......:-) Hugs

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  11. Mary, when it comes to cleaning, I have learned to let go of a lot. My husband now cleans the house as he is semi-retired and has more time. I overlook stuff becasue I am grateful he cleans and I am not as fussy as I used to be. Spending time helping your mom and being with your family seems more important. Have a family "light" cleaning day on Saturday with daughter helping you, and then do not worry about it the rest of the week. Just a thought. I pray for you and for your mom. Hope she can retire soon too. God bless!

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  12. Bernie,
    Thank you so much! You'll never know how much I appeciate your kindness, my friend. God bless you!

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  13. Colleen,
    I knew you would understand how difficult it is to balance things in life with chronic pain. Thank you so much for your friendship and going out of your way to help me through e-mails, comments, and your blog. I am starting a round of prednisone today in hope that it will knock me out of a flareup. God bless you! I pray for you, too :)

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